Even Better Than A 3 Hour Tour
“A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn’t take one more step
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died”
American Pie– Don McLean
You Put The Bullet In Your Dreams sounds like it might be a sad story but it really isn’t. Rather it is a collection of moments that led to the place where I am now and that is something, warm, happy and magnificent.
We often write about how life is a journey and why we should do our best to be present on the moments and not solely focused upon the destination. Sometimes I read those posts and wonder how much manure the writer swallowed before they regurgitated the very words I am reading on screen and other times I can’t pull my eyes away because they have filled the page with truth.
It is the truth that I want to share with whomever reads my words because of the connection I feel and the way it resonates with me.
“Let your mind go and your body will follow.”
Two or three days after I wrote the “dream’ post I interviewed for the position that led me to leave home and though the position wasn’t offered to me during that interview I had a strong feeling it would be.
Somewhere during those days there was a moment of clarity when I realized that had it not been for those experiences I shared I never would have found this opportunity and if by some chance I had, well I would have passed upon it.
I wouldn’t have recognized why this one moment in time could be so very important and life changing. I wouldn’t have seen the opportunity to take a chance to do the thing that I love to do in for pay in a place where it could work like no other.
It took a bit of time for it to sink in and for me not to let fear of change and concern about what makes the most sense to derail things.
Risk is Important and Necessary
Risk is important and necessary. If you never stretch you never find out what you are capable of and you never get the chance to truly grab the brass ring.Â You just ride your pony in never ending circles.
Fear masked as “logic” almost made me say no. I came up with a dozen reasons why it couldn’t work and why I shouldn’t try. That was fear of failure speaking. That was the small whisper in the back of my mind saying “maybe you aren’t as good as you think you are.”
I fought that feeling and made a mental list of accomplishments and reasons that proved I could do it and wondered what would happen if I am better than I think I am. I asked if I could say that with humility and the answer came back yes.
Take A Chance On Me
It sounds cheesy but in the midst of all this thinking I heard Abba sing “Take a Chance on Me” and I thought about how often we are good to others but less forgiving of ourselves. It wasn’t exactly in line with the meaning of the song but I took it as a sign to trust myself and really go after this moment.
And now it is the night before my first day and I am feeling a mix of confidence and nerves. I won’t be able to find my groove until I start the daily component and find out what life is going to be like so I am anxious to begin.
It feels a lot like the last night of summer break before the semester begins at the new school and I don’t know any of my classmates. Unlike my school days I made a point to pick out my suit and tie tonight and have them ready and waiting.
I am going to do my best to show them what I have got and hope it is a lot more like the professor than Gilligan. Time to see if I can make those people dance.
Linking up again with Yeah Write.
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom February 7, 2013 at 4:50 pm
Music is such a powerful metaphor for life. I feel like I’ve always got a soundtrack kicking around my brain. Good luck on your new journey Professor! 😉
Natalie the Singingfool February 7, 2013 at 11:40 am
Living to the ripe old age of 30, I now can say from experience I’d rather risk and lose than live with regret. Regret eats away at your soul.
Kathleen February 7, 2013 at 6:53 am
I’m a little late to the party here, but congratulations! I hope your first day was very professor-like and not at all Gilligan.
Thanks for the awesome earworm too.
My Half Assed Life February 6, 2013 at 5:04 pm
I started a new job not to long ago so I really get that anxiety you feel. I remember waiting for that first day and just wishing it would be over and done with.
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:19 pm
Yeah, the first days are hard.
Dana February 6, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Very true words you speak. Isn’t it great how music can so perfectly illustrate what is on our minds?
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Music is what moves the world, or at least it moves mine.
Stacie February 6, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Good luck Jack! I love how ABBA popped into your head 😉
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Thanks. It was sort of an odd song for the moment, but it worked.
Tim Bonner February 6, 2013 at 2:01 pm
This must be your second day now so I hope it’s going well.
Keeping us guessing as to what it is you’re up to! 🙂
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:16 pm
I’ll do that. 😉
Larks ( February 6, 2013 at 10:24 am
I hope your first day is going well! Knowing what we want and giving ourselves permission to take risks is a challenge in and of itself. I’m glad you didn’t give in to the fear.
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:14 pm
It was good, thank you.
christina February 6, 2013 at 10:12 am
i really hate how crippling fear can be.
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:13 pm
Thanks. Fear is problematic, but if we fight we can push it away.
IASoupMama February 6, 2013 at 9:56 am
I’m so glad that you could see your fear for what it was. I always come out of interviews thinking “Take a Chance on Me,” too! Someday, someone will take a chance on me and then I’ll get to show the world all of the great things I know I can do!
Jack February 6, 2013 at 6:05 pm
That last sentence made me smile- I think you will show the world all those things.
Gina February 6, 2013 at 6:53 am
By now you’re into your second week. I hope you really like it. I always love that music intertwines with your words/thoughts and I like the songs that you choose. I believe the same about risk.
Jack February 6, 2013 at 5:49 pm
A world without music is unimaginable to me, or should I say, “INCONCEIVABLE!”
Michelle Longo February 6, 2013 at 4:42 am
Hope your first day was great and thank you for some inspiration that I really needed this morning.
Jack February 6, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Thanks. It was pretty good. Got two days in the books and can’t wait until I find my groove.
erin graves February 6, 2013 at 4:09 am
“I thought about how often we are good to others but less forgiving of ourselves.” Great quote — this is something I often think about and quite truthfully struggle with — why can we never show ourselves the small measure of kindness that extend to others?
Good luck with the new job!
Jack February 6, 2013 at 5:18 pm
I suspect quite a few of us are our own worst enemies. We look at situations and think about what we could or should have done and then beat ourselves up when we fall short.
Thanks for the good wishes, I appreciate it. Two days down,third day tomorrow. 🙂
TriGirl February 5, 2013 at 8:16 pm
“Fear masked as logic” resonated for me too. I hope we get to find out what you are going to do soon!! Sounds really exciting!
Jack February 5, 2013 at 8:48 pm
Fear can be a funny thing sometimes and not always in the “ha ha” way.
gem February 5, 2013 at 6:13 pm
Break a leg (figurstively),
Jack February 5, 2013 at 8:51 pm
Bill Dorman February 5, 2013 at 5:42 pm
Knock it out of the park; swing away Merrill…..
Jack February 5, 2013 at 8:56 pm
I am working on it, or should I say “I am fixing too…” 😉
Angela Ryan February 5, 2013 at 4:16 pm
I love the line about fear masked as logic. Damn, how true is that! Right on.
Jack February 5, 2013 at 8:57 pm
Fear does a damn fine job of trying to convince us that it is rooted in truth even when it isn’t.
icescreammama February 5, 2013 at 1:42 pm
go get em, tiger.
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:02 pm
I am, I did and I will. 😉
bridgetstraub.com February 5, 2013 at 9:29 am
You know I wish you the best but all the mystery is driving me nuts. Either you have joined the CIA or you are in the witness protection program. Four states away? Starting the big opportunity but you can’t seem to say what it is. Are you crazy superstitious or what? I really do hope it all works out.
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:06 pm
Yep, I am crazy and superstitious, not to mention I have some very nosy trolls.
Jared Karol February 5, 2013 at 8:02 am
“Fear masked as â€œlogicâ€ almost made me say no.” I’m glad you didn’t mask your fear in logic. We often do. How very, very illogical. . .
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:10 pm
People like to think we are logical but we often aren’t.
Dawn Beronilla February 5, 2013 at 7:21 am
I wish you the best of luck and happiness with your new adventure!
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Thank you Dawn.
Lori Gosselin February 5, 2013 at 7:14 am
Good luck Jack.Seems you are ready for this and have been for some time now!
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Thank you Lori, I am excited to see what happens.
Stan Faryna February 5, 2013 at 5:51 am
Do amazing things, Jack.
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:23 pm
I am going to try. How are things with you? Are you any more settled?
Stan Faryna February 6, 2013 at 4:37 am
I missed Johnny’s 8th birthday and I’m told that he cried all day and night about that. I cried some too. It was the first birthday I wasn’t there and I suppose it will not be the last birthday I miss. I talked to him on the phone, but he insisted that I should come over the next day…
Meanwhile, I’m trying to finish up a mobile game design and help some friends figure things out before I put myself at the disposal of head hunters.
Sarah Park February 5, 2013 at 3:21 am
No one achieves success without taking a risk. It is better to try than regret in the end. God bless with your gig.
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:32 pm
You are absolutely right.
winopants February 4, 2013 at 11:33 pm
Those “night before” jitters are unbearable to me. I avoid them at all costs. Unfortunately this had led me to miss many opportunities.. good luck with your new gig.
Jack February 5, 2013 at 9:35 pm
I can appreciate it. Change can be very hard and upsetting, but sometimes there is no choice but to push through.