Do You Blog Without Shame?

Inside 4151

Someone asked me if I wonder or worry about the numbers. They want to know if I am worried about how many readers I have, how many followers, likes, circles etc.

The honest answer is sometimes.

Sometimes it feels like I am driving an empty bus up, down and around town and I wonder about what I am doing and if I should do it differently.

I know how to build a community and write headlines that attract attention. I know how to make this place shake, rattle and roll.  It usually happens when I blog without shame.

Write From The Heart

Sometimes it feels to me like my blogging rhythm follows Babe, I am Gonna Leave You. If you are not familiar with it go look it up on iTunes and download as much Led Zeppelin as you can handle.

What are you waiting for? Begone!

Go get the goddamn music and then come back.

There is a rise and fall that comes with my writing and my desire to visit other blogs.

Some of that is because my time is limited and some because I just don’t care as much as I did about trying to drum up business around here.

It doesn’t hold the same interest because my focus is on writing. It is on figuring how to make the words weep off of the page so that your heart breaks and or finding a way to make your soul sing.

That is why I keep tapping into the pain of the past and the present. It is why I try to remember what it felt like to be broken and shattered. It is why I try to set the demons free and let the anger flow.

Write from the heart.

Sometimes It is Scary

Sometimes it is scary to try to tear down the walls that I spent time erecting. Sometimes I wonder if I am sharing information I shouldn’t. Sometimes I wonder if the unfiltered version (which is really not very different from the filtered) is creating issues.

Flip through the posts here and you’ll find all sorts of stuff. There are posts where I talk about the tears that don’t fall and posts where I talk about the things my children say. Some of those kid posts are pretty good.

You haven’t lived until you have explained where babies come from and had your  daughter ask how far the penis goes in. I punted on that one and said “ask your mom.”

One day I’ll remind my son about how that baby talk went with him and how he told people I ‘peed on mom.”  In my family leaving out details sometimes leads to conclusions that aren’t always correct. Apparently I failed to talk about semen with him.

Boy, this post ought to be great for my SEO efforts.

Tear through this joint and you’ll find other stuff where I am just exposed in ways I would never do in person. So I ask myself what happens when I blog without shame.

What About Promotion?

Sometimes blogging without shame is where I ask you to become a fan of my Facebook page or to sign up for my newsletter.

Sometimes I think about spending a couple of bucks on Facebook ads to help that along because I hear stories about how much easier it is to find an agent. Sometimes I think about self publishing and how it would still benefit me to build a bigger platform.

Access to more people means a better chance of hitting that home run, of finding that special formula for magical moments and success. Because you never know about exposure, one person might be the man/woman who can make your dreams come true

And then you look at these posts and think, you wrote about beating up a man with processed meat and about fighting a clown. You blogged about a talking penis and what it was like to watch your uncle die from AIDS.

You wrote about how to become a better writer and shared a million other stories about your kids.

Who the hell are you and why would anyone take the time to care.

I am just the guy who blogs without shame…mostly.

Who are you?

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”― Robert Frost

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  1. Mike Carlson May 5, 2013 at 4:40 am

    As a blogger, of course we do worry about how people respond every time we post, and if people do respond. But I believe that as long as we are being true to what we write and that we write from the heart, people will get to notice and appreciate that. Of course, aside from writing, we also have the responsibility to promote what we write.

  2. Amber-Lee Dibble May 2, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    Thanks for this one. Seriously.
    I, too, Blog Without Shame.
    I may be ashamed of some of my own past actions, but I am not ashamed to say when I make mistakes, I always do my ultimate best (even asking for help) to fix them. I am also not ashamed to say that I learn from them AND share them, so maybe I can help someone else not make the same mistake. Because we are (mostly, anyways) human and shit (even our own) DOES happen. So what? He (or she) is most likely (50-50, at least) human too.
    Why does anyone care?
    Because they don’t want to be alone either.

  3. Natalie the Singingfool May 1, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    Blogging stats as “Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You”? I totally get it.

  4. Elizabeth Lee May 1, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Today I blogged without shame. Thanks.

  5. Jane McKay April 30, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    I think it really depends on the purpose of your blog. I write partly because I love to write and partly as promotion for my marketing consultancy. Writing by its nature is part of my business and marketing is obviously an interest of mine so I write (mostly unashamedly) about marketing and all things marketing-related (no matter how tenuous the link). You are a writer and the scope of your blog posts demonstrates that you are a talented writer who writes with feeling. You also have the gift of sweeping the reader along for an emotional ride be it through humour, sadness or empathy. Thank you, once again you made me laugh 🙂

    • Jack May 1, 2013 at 4:07 am

      Hi Jane,

      Absolutely. What I write about in a professional context is far different than on the personal. Purpose drives the blog, or at least it should. Sometimes I think we forget about that and it has a bit of an impact on how things go.

      I had a conversation not long ago in which a marketer told me they hate to write. That makes life a bit more challenging, or so I would think. It is great that you enjoy writing, but I am biased.

      Thank you for the kind words, hope you are having a good day.

  6. Larry April 30, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    I do agree with you that the most effective posts are those that are heartfelt. Readers recognize passion.
    A writer wants someone to see his/her words – especially if they are passionate about them. Nothing wrong with that – no shame.

  7. Michael April 30, 2013 at 10:15 am

    It really depends on your audience. I have done a lot of sports blogging in my life and that is all about numbers and shameless promotions. Who can get the story out first and who can get the most traffic out of it before the next big trend.

    But for my dad blog, it is all about the story. It is all about engaging and getting people interested in your life. If you stick with it, the numbers will come and you will have a very dedicated following.

    Great write up.

    • Jack April 30, 2013 at 7:50 pm

      Hi Michael,

      Sure, if you have more of a commercial focus than the numbers are critical. I spent enough time selling advertising to know about the importance of eyeballs.

      Sustaining your effort is very important, but it is not always the deciding factor. Been blogging for nine years and know a bunch of others who have too, some of us barely register on the traffic scale.

  8. Alan April 30, 2013 at 7:49 am

    1) As always, fine writing advice that crosses over into life advice.
    2) Lately, I’ve become more touched by individual response. If I can elicit more than a like or a click but rather, some kind of comment or feedback that says, “This touched me,” then I feel I’m doing the job I want to be doing.
    3) Clowns deserve to be beaten. Well done.

    • Jack April 30, 2013 at 6:59 pm

      Hi Alan,

      Those comments are worth quite a bit. I am a big fan. That is not meant to be insouciant or snarky either.

      What have you against clowns. ‘;)

  9. Brian Gawlak April 30, 2013 at 7:18 am

    I think half the time I’m 100% behind whatever I’m presenting, and the other half feel like I’m winging it. I actually came up with an idea to talk about self promotion whilst demoing a cooking technique. Timely. Great post!

  10. Joel April 30, 2013 at 6:05 am

    I find that the most open and honest posts are the ones that I like reading and responding to the most. My secret? I write for myself, not anyone else. 🙂

  11. Christie April 30, 2013 at 5:55 am

    I feel shame about every other post. It feels like I should do it better and faster and bigger. But I don’t know how. In the meantime I follow my bliss and enjoy the people and connections I’ve met, most of whom help me with the shame.

  12. ihopeiwinatoaster April 30, 2013 at 4:30 am

    Well done as always, JackB. I think we all struggle with this. Sometimes I don’t hit “publish” because I realize my words might hurt someone or my boys later down the road. I have read a lot of blogs that are so personal and revealing and wonder how they can do it, then, I realize they are anonymous. I often wish I’d done that from the beginning. Great post, I really enjoy your style.

    • Jack April 30, 2013 at 6:35 pm

      Well sir, anonymity only goes so far. Some people aren’t nearly as anonymous as they would like to believe.

      But there really are boundaries in blogging, or there should be and sometimes some people go places that makes me question what they are thinking.

  13. Stan Faryna April 30, 2013 at 3:43 am

    “Sometimes it feels like I am driving an empty bus up, down and around town…”

    That’s a great line.

  14. Aaron Brinker April 30, 2013 at 2:56 am


    I do a lot of blogging without shame. I write about the problems we had with infertility – all the way to SEO tactics. The articles that generally get the most “personal” response are the ones that I open up and share intimate details on our life. I think that is what makes the writing worth it. We are able to talk about our lives in a way that can sometimes help others. Just my opinion of course….

    Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders

  15. Elizabeth Lee April 29, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    I’m just a woman trying to figure out how to blog without shame. I also have joint custody and a difficult ex to contend with.

    • Jack April 30, 2013 at 6:21 pm

      Hi Elizabeth,

      It sounds like you have your hands full, but also access to a lot of blog fodder.

      • Elizabeth Lee April 30, 2013 at 6:45 pm

        Some of the crazy ex blog fodder was used up on a previous blog that is fairly anonymous. I have seriously considered writing some “fiction” about that whole mess, though. I really ought to start that novel. By the time I get it finished, my youngest child will be an adult. Hmmm….

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