Midnight has come and gone and I am awake when I really shouldn’t be. It is not because Chuck doesn’t think of this as being a good time to write that I am concerned either because the night time is my time.
This is when I prefer to write, it is when my mind is alive with possibilities but it is a bad time to wake myself up because the morning comes too soon. I won’t actively worry or think about it until around 4 AM at which point I will consider calling people in LA to ask if they are awake.
I never have understood why we do such a thing. It is up there with the general silliness of asking whomever is sharing our bed if they are awake.
Allow me to share some insight into how I operate, if my eyes are closed don’t ask me if I am awake unless you are prepared to deal with a response you might not enjoy.
Who Is In My Tribe?
Saturday afternoon I was part of another discussion where people talked about the rivalry between Dallas and Fort Worth and asked me to take a side. They were disappointed when I told them I thought Los Angeles had them both beat on almost every account.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t like living in Texas but L.A. will always be home. Â I plan on being here for a good long while, could be decades but if I have learned anything it is that you don’t really know what is going to happen so I try to plan in smaller chunks of time.
Besides in theory ten years from now my children will be living on their own and I may decide that it is time to move to Israel, Europe, Hawaii or Australia. Or maybe it will be none of those places. Maybe it will still be Texas or maybe it will be LA, who knows.
Right now I am focused upon the present and that is why I am asking myself who is in my tribe. It is more of a blogging type question. It is more of me asking myself where I want to focus my attention.
I Love To Write
I love to write and I am in a place where it feels to me like I am really just coming into my own. It is a place where I am starting to recognize how far I have come and how much farther I can go.
It reminds me of the feeling I had when I was first learning how to ride a bike. I was seven years old and nervous about crashing. When I didn’t think about it I was fine. I would start riding and feel invincible, but if I started to wobble sometimes I would begin to worry about falling.
I don’t really worry about falling down, but I do find myself asking hard questions of myself. I wonder what has stopped me from doing certain things. I wonder why I have been my biggest adversary. It is a useful conversation because if I can identify those things I canÂ correctÂ them.
And that brings me around to the question about who is part of my tribe.
Should I Hang Out With The Same People?
I have developed friendships with many of you. I like visiting your blogs and even though I might not comment I visit more than you might realize. But I have to ask the question of whether hanging out with you is helping me grow.
That sounds obnoxious and pretentious. I am not trying to hurt anyone, but we’re adults and I hope you understand. It is a two way street.
You are not obligated to hang out with me either. I hope you do and that it is because you like to, but I understand if you head elsewhere.
Ultimately I have to revisit my goals and decide if what I am doing makes sense. I don’t blog about religion and politics like I used to because it doesn’t mesh with my goals.
Since my kids have grown up a bit I have started to pull back on how many stories I share about them. They deserve a certain amount of privacy. There are still plenty of things to cover within dad blogging, but again things have changed.
I don’t have answers yet, but I am working on these. As long as I continue to have fun and feel like this adds to life I’ll keep hanging out here.
If you have any thoughts the comment section is yours.