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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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69 Reasons Why We Hate Being Slaves To Technology

June 15, 2013 by Jack Steiner

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NOT for sale: human trafficking

I spent more money than I wanted to upgrading my computer today and it wasn’t entirely by choice.  I opted not to buy a Mac because I didn’t want to spend that much on a computer but that didn’t prevent me from feeling a bit crazed because of how much it cost.

Some of the Apple Fan boys are shaking their heads now because Macs tend to last longer than PCs and consequently if you amortize the cost of the unit over several years the cost goes down and satisfaction goes up, or so they argue.

There is some truth to that but it doesn’t mean you don’t have to put out a chunk of change to get that sort of satisfaction.

This time around I couldn’t quite bring myself to spend that kind of cash because I have too many other expenses to worry about but neither could I buy a basic machine because we are slaves to technology.

The Slave’s Life For Me

I really would prefer to be singing “A Pirate’s Life for Me” because it is more fun. Reminds me of being a kid at Disneyland, Pirates Of The Caribbean has always been one of my favorite rides and let’s face it, that is a good life.

Disney pirates get to pillage, plunder and chase wenches and that has to be better than being a slave to technology. Has to be more fun than worrying about whether your hard drive is going to die and if you have backed everything up.

Better than worrying about whether you have learned all the ins and outs of the new computer and the frustration you feel when you realize that even though you are tech savvy you are missing something.

But if people call you The Jack Steiner, author of the mighty dad blog, TheJackB you know that you can’t just give into frustration  and defenestrate your computer, new or old nor can you find a good person to defenestrate.

You do know that only good people get defenestrated, it is like that line in Shawshank where Red tells Andy everyone is innocent.

But that is neither here nor there because the fact is that even though I have a Smith-Corona typewriter I am not going to pull it out of the closet, nor am I going to give up my cellphone for an old rotary phone.

In large part it is because those tools can’t compete with the modern ones we have access too.

Technology Has Enslaved Us All

When we talk about the need to work smarter and more effectively we’re talking about using technology because it makes us faster, more productive and more efficient.

And when you grow accustomed to some things you are loathe to go back to the way things used to be.

If my old computer were a pet I might have had to consider putting it down because that poor guy had cataract filled eyes that clouded its vision and a busted hip that made it impossible walk.

So instead of bounding up and down the stairs like he once did he just peed on the floor and laid in it because all of the other options had been removed.

Fortunately that wasn’t the case so you won’t see me shed a tear or talk about how much I’ll miss that my pal because the attachment is different and frankly I am pissed off that it decided to die now.

Doesn’t it know I just paid to move into a new place and that I have a Bar Mitzvah to cover.

Fucking computer.

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