I am the most patient impatient man you have ever met, at least for some things and some people. If you are singing our song and I can hear it than you can rest assured I will move heaven and earth to get to you, even if I have to do it more than once.
In a world filled with contradictions all I ask is that you give me your hand and trust me to wander through the dark because even though I am bruised and battered by the things I can’t see and nicked, scraped by those I can I will return.
I always do.
Halloween Has Come And Gone
This time last week I was in the home stretch of a 21 hour car ride that took me through four states and back to where I once belonged and knew how everything would work.
By the time I hit nineteen hours I was a bit crazed and tired of driving. My 13 year-old car is reliable but not built to make a 44 year-old body feel Â good.
I made a point to keep a hard ball on the center console so that periodically I could place it behind my back and roll against it, but it only did so much. Could have grabbed a more than 50 winks in Phoenix and spent the night so that I would be fresh for the ride home on Sunday but I couldn’t stomach the idea of not hugging my kids for another day so I pressed on.
Drove and thought about Halloween and how much fun it would be to walk with them through the neighborhood. Pushed on knowing that it would leave me exhausted and cranky. Pushed on knowing that on Wednesday I’d go play ball with some guys who think that defense means you hammer the back and arms of anyone holding the ball.
It Might Have Been Worth Getting ArrestedÂ tells some of the story of how I responded but it doesn’t do enough to acknowledge that I knew I would be short tempered.
This is part of what happensÂ When The Rhythm of Life Is Disturbed.
But I made it back in time and we had a great night and now I am seated at my desk staring at a pile of empty wrappers.
Four Soccer Games Later
It was a four soccer game Saturday today. Some of you might wonder how I could give up that much time on a Saturday and I can understand why you would.
But when you see the glow in the eyes of my children and watch the joy radiate from them you can understand better how it is that I can stand upon the sidelines.
Or more accurately you can see me pace on the sidelines, yelling out encouragement to the kids.
Loved being there, I missed it and yet more than one person told me that I kept talking about Texas like it was amazing. But that is because it was, so many good things happened there and now I think part of why I feel discombobulated is because it turned life upside down in many ways.
That is not always a bad thing.
Transitions and Interruptions
Overall the transition has been good but there have been some definite rough spots and I am doing my best to work through them. Love being around the kids like this but the interruptions in my writing and work are challenging.
Kind of funny because we have been through this before but since I have been gone for a while I have to learn again how to manage it and I will.
Sitting here I can’t help but stare at the pile of empty wrappers (the parent tax is stiff) and think more about what is best for these rug rats of mine.
There is no immediate need to make decisions but when I look at what it costs to live backÂ homeÂ I have to think about whether I shouldn’t push harder to take them back to the other home.
In the interim I have to stop eating this blasted candy because if I haven’t overdosed upon it I am about two candy bars and a Tootsie roll away.