Warning: I don’t know what this post is about so I can’t tell you if I am going to rant, write about my kids, talk about sex, writing or anything else because I am just writing now. It may not follow the headline or it might.
It is an exercise in free thought. This is me opening up the grand cavern between my ears and just clearing it out. Not going to be censored or edited. It is just my thoughts and that might get me in trouble, embarrass you and me or might not do a damn thing at all.
I really don’t know because I am just writing about whatever comes to mind because I am frustrated now. Frustrated because I am in the in-between place where I don’t have everything I want but am so damn close I can see, touch and taste it. Frustrated because my inclination is to push harder and that won’t work. Won’t matter if I push harder because I can’t make time move faster…or slower.
Drove around to clear my head and saw a sign for massage. Thought about getting one and then I remembered that just before I left for Texas a guy told me he got a blow job for $40 bucks in that place and thought about whether a $40 blow job makes you feel good, bad or indifferent.
Is she thinking about laundry or getting you out of there as fast as she can so she can get to the next customer. I didn’t stop at that place to get a massage nor did I stop at any other because I knew I was going to play ball that night and it didn’t make sense to do it nor do I want to go to one of those places.
It is not my thing but damn a good massage would be nice.
Post Length and Frequency
I have had multiple conversations with people about how often we should post and how frequently and I almost never agree with what I hear.
People keep telling me about how people don’t read anything longer than 500 words and how they don’t publish “too often” because they don’t want to upset their readers. They tell me that more people will read my work if I spend more time writing better posts and don’t publish as frequently.
Sometimes when we talk about these things I start to tune out and think about other things like how many people are getting $40 blow jobs and how many bloggers exaggerate about how well they are doing.
And then I wonder how many of you are going to wonder about me and $40 blow jobs and what that might do to my SEO. It doesn’t really matter much to me because I write because I love this stuff and because it is cathartic. And then I look to my right and I see a stack of old pictures and I see me.
I am about 20 or so and I remember that day. Just got back from camp and I got a goodbye blow job from my girlfriend before we both left to go back to school. I don’t know what happened to her or where she is now. Haven’t ever looked her up on social media platforms or really thought about her.
Probably says volumes about our relationship but I guarantee that moment was better than a $40 blow job.
What I Should Be Doing
What I should be doing now is focusing more intently on wwriting stories. What I should focus on is taking those stories from the rough, raw pieces they are and converting them into something that can be built upon.
This is guilt speaking now. Guilt because for years I have been saying this and I haven’t ever finished it. I take some of them and move them along. I put the words down and create the characters that you and I want to read about. Take those characters and put them in situations that are interesting and relatable and I see in my mind the foundation and completion of it all.
I see a couple who weathers multiple storms and who figure out how to overcome great odds and adversity because even though it is hard, complicated and complex it is what they do.
They look at 1724, 83168 and 5969 and see not just questions but answers because the numbers are a guide and they serve as puzzle pieces.
So what I should be doing is focusing on that and instead I keep mentioning $40 blow jobs but maybe it is because I can see story elements there and maybe that is what is driving this. I know some of you are thinking it is because I want a blow job that I keep mentioning it and there might be truth in that but show me a virile male who isn’t interested and I’ll say he doesn’t want to admit it.
Sometimes You Have To Do The Work
Sometimes the only way to get what you want is to be the one to do the work. I talk to the kids about the value of working hard and working smart. You don’t get much from outworking the next person unless you are smart about it. There is a lot of value in hard work because hard work is often the foundation of luck.
But working hard without a goal, without direction, without focus or point is a good way to exhaust yourself. Don’t mistake activity for achievement.
And when I write down these words in a longer post than I normally write so many things become more clear and the thoughts that are swirling around my head and distracting me have quieted down. Noise and chaos are at a reduced volume so I can focus on doing the things that lead to achievement and are not just activity disguised as busy work.
Which reminds me that bloggers and social media experts are often delusional or at least the claims they sometimes make are. I can’t stomach half the advice I read because it is the echo chamber spitting out the same tired advice and it is not always good or accurate.
I still don’t believe that people don’t read long copy and I still don’t accept that some of you are as successful as you claim to be. But I understand your ability to sell product/services to others is contingent upon your convincing people that you are so Â I suppose it is anÂ honestÂ reason to lie.