You Shouldn’t Wear a Sheep On Your Head

You probably ought to pay attention when your 9.5 going on 30 year-old daughter describes you as being the father who has no fashion sense and explains that you shouldn’t wear a sheep on your head.

Of course if you are me you smile at her and laugh and then laugh harder when she gets angry and you think about future husband who is going to be torn up and eaten alive by her.

And if he is not it is only because you got to him first and gave him the sort of beating that leaves an impression upon a fella whose intentions are to do things with your daughter would make your remaining hair fall out.

Since you operate your blog within both the business and parent blogosphere you make a point to remind people that much of this is tongue-in-cheek so that the extra judgy folks don’t try to take you to task for being silly.

And then you remember you don’t care what they think because you are not a mom blogger and you don’t have time to worry about whether people think you are a good father.

A Good Father Doesn’t

‘Cuz if you go down the list of all of the things people say a good father doesn’t do you have already failed. You have fed your kids McDonalds, let them have cake for breakfast, given them food with strange sounding additives and preservatives, circumcised your son, spanked them and you have let them play very dangerous sports.

Go back in time here and you’ll see the comments from the whack job who said that they were going to try to have my kids taken away because they didn’t like my politics.

That is not a joke, it really happened. Ask the Shmata Queen and she’ll tell you that isn’t one of my yarns. She’ll also tell you that if you threaten my family you will not like the response which is why that commenter has never been seen round these parts again.

In case you are wondering I am going to give you a list of the things a good father does or doesn’t do because those posts put me to sleep.

That is bad blogging and th0ugh I am guilty of many things that is not one I wish to own.

 999438

Do you want to know the significance of  999438?

That is how many Facebook fans I need to hit 1 million. Woohoo, one million fans, wouldn’t that be special. Wouldn’t it make you just kick up your heels, shout and dance.

Someone should ask me if I want 1 million Facebook fans. You, the chick driving down Glade, go ahead and ask me and I’ll answer but not until after I pick up a few things at Target.

Hell yes I want a million fans. It is a silly metric that has limited meaning and it is tied into social proof which is a bigger version of the silly metric but some people still use it.

It doesn’t factor in engagement. It doesn’t talk about why a person with 562 fans could be far more influential than the million fan person. It is all about engagement.

Do people respond to your call to action?

Of course the million fan person doesn’t need to have a very large percentage to respond to outwork the 562 fan person or so I reckon which is another reason why I want the million.

Give me that million and then I can compare my experiences and give you a much smarter and more grounded response.

What About That Sheep?

Some of the youngsters that read this blog might not recognize the painting in the photo. If I told them to “Wax on, Wax Off” they might think I was insulting them.

I wonder what they would think if I asked them to go buy Mr. Zog’s Sex Wax® for me?

Anyhoo, that painting is on the side of the barbershop I got my hair cut at. As I walked by I practiced my Crane Kick and remembered to watch out for the dude who was going to sweep the leg.

Speaking of that, does anyone remember this video:

Got to run now, that 9.5 year-old wants to tell me what clothes I should wear with my snazzy new hair cut and I don’t want to miss the moment. She is too damn cute.