Archives for January 2014

It never occurred to me that one day someone would slip a knife between my ribs and if it had I never would have thought they would have the nerve to stick around and twist it.

I guess the little boy inside me always figured he’d turn into the hero and somehow save the day. He would spin around, disarm the guy and call the police.

There wasn’t any thought that he would end up face down on the floor wondering who had their knee in his back. The only thing that wouldn’t have surprised him is that he didn’t cry. There were no tears or begging for mercy, just a few grunts and some heavier breathing.

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist

Been a very long week and if you asked me why I couldn’t give you the kind of detailed answer you are looking for. Most of it is because I have doing battle with people and things.

Some of them have been worthwhile and some of it meaningful but much of it has made me wonder if it is the kind of exchange of energy that provides a reasonable return on investment.

The fight to keep the blog going has made me think about what would happen if this were my last post. Made me think about many different things.

Made me remember how Ted Williams hit a home run at his last at bat. That is the sort of movie type ending that so many of us want.

It would be awesome to write the kind of post that truly moved people and made them wish it wasn’t ending. It would be magical to write the kind of post that made people feel something and to know the last thing they ever read from me was better than average.

But I don’t know how to make that happen because I don’t know when the end will come. There is no plan to write for a set amount time and then hang up my keyboard.

There is no plan for any sort of farewell tour, there is only the plan to write until I just can’t do it anymore.

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”
― Oscar Wilde

I don’t write as I once did. Don’t know if that is a bad thing or a good thing for that matter, I just know that it is. I think my voice has become well defined and that I hit the mark more often than I miss but I am no different than any other writer-sometimes I wonder.

The traffic here this week is the worst it has been in years. Some of it is attributable to the hosting problems. When the blog won’t load or takes forever it is not unusual for people not to stick around.

Could be that people are bored and that it is time to go find new readers who aren’t familiar with my work. I tell my children to be their own people and to follow their hearts but to know when you have to play the game. Meaning that some times you crank back upon the “personal bliss” and play other games.

You do that because sometimes you are in a position to build new relationships or expand old ones and your willingness to do other things goes a long way.

Sometimes you have to go along to get along.

But when it comes to blogging you have to look at your goals too and if you want to last you need to be sure that having fun is part of it.

If you don’t have fun you won’t last. The last few days haven’t been fun, but I am too stubborn to just hang it up now.

Confession: I am not bald…yet.

Truth is I still have most of my hair but the front isn’t quite what it once was and blogging is to blame. Ok, it is not to blame for all of it, genetics, kids, work and life share some of that responsibility too.

But blogging didn’t help me…yesterday.

That is because my hosting company took my blogs down yesterday and then again throughout the night. It wasn’t because of the written content but because of something on the back end, the infrastructure.

Site Speed and Plugin

The pages here don’t always load as fast as I want them to, in fact there are moments where it is really slow. I have been doing what I can to optimize things so that it loads faster.

We live in an instant gratification society and people don’t like to wait. Some people don’t. Sometimes they email me to say the page is loading too slowly but most of the time they don’t.

Plugins are software components that we add so that our blogs have more features and are more useful to reader and author. Sometimes they cause issues and slow things down, they don’t always play well together.

You can use tools to measure performance.

I really like Jetpack but it is a dog that slows things down here and I wonder if speed issues outweigh the benefits.

One of these plugins stopped playing nice with the others and started draining shared resources which is why my hosting company pulled my sites down, but they couldn’t tell me which.

Problems, Challenges and Solutions

When my children talk to me about problems I ask them if it is really a problem or if it is a challenge and then I ask them to try and think of solutions. I want them to be self sufficient and to handle things if a parent isn’t available.

I didn’t tell them that there are days like yesterday where I want to use the Chicago way to fix things.  The clip below is from The Untouchables.

Malone: You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I’m saying is, what are you prepared to do?
Ness: Anything and everything in my power.
Malone: And *then* what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way because they’re not gonna give up the fight until one of you is dead.
Ness: How do you do it then?
Malone: You wanna know how you do it? Here’s how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way, and that’s how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?
Ness: I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so.
Malone: Well, the Lord hates a coward. Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Ness?
Ness: Yes.
Malone: Good, ’cause you just took one.

Sometimes I like the sound of the Chicago way, but you can’t shoot your blog, a plugin, computer or your hosting company. Instead you write posts to vent and to sort things out.

Sometimes you write stuff like:

So someone better tell that bad news to watch out. Someone better tell bad news to get on a bus or a plane. Or better yet tell bad news to meet me out by the woodshed, but only one of us is going to walk back on their own two legs.

It is tongue-in-cheek but you get the point. It is part of how you work through a challenge and figure out solution. Slow loading blogs are penalized by Google and by readers who don’t stick around.

Hosting companies who pull your blogs down for issues they can’t articulate are trouble too. This is why you lose your hair and this is how you learn patience.

Those mysterious talking heads say patience makes you a better lover and that bald men are more virile. I don’t know if there is any connection between those and a three hour orgasm but I do know that I have to make a decision about my existing hosting company and whether I keep Jetpack because page speed is too important to ignore.

What do you think?