If I wasn’t a writer I’d want to be Stevie Ray Vaughan or some other guitar/player/blues man who could not only make that guitar talk but could sing as well.
Maybe I’d tell you about the song of my heart and how I always planned on writing a song that I would play only for her. And then I’d wonder if maybe she has already heard it because maybe it is one of those things where even though it has never been put down on paper she can hear it.
If you believe that people can communicate without speaking than maybe it is not so hard to believe that she has heard it and that her heart has joined with mine for the chorus. Maybe the only times I have ever felt truly disconnected is when the silence became deafening because harmony became discord.
But that was a mere moment in time and it passed long ago and one voice became two again. Or maybe I lost my mind and I am like J0n Snow and I know nothing.
I’ll let you speculate about this and that but I’ll say this much more should I write that song down on paper I’ll probably call it Sundays In Texas.
Writing For The Joy Of Writing
Some SEO specialist might suggest I should have usedÂ Blogging For The Sake Of Writing for my subhead but I don’t know how much it matters to me or not.
I am a bipolar blogger who flips between caring about the numbers and growing my influence/reach to not caring because I write for the love of writing.
Important: I am many things but I am not bipolar. It is just how I tried to describe the two different sides of myÂ blogging style.Â Ask why I care and I’ll tell you my dream is to make my living from doing this.
In aÂ perfectÂ world I would be paid to just write whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and however I wanted. If I wanted to write about bathroom adventures, parenting or tell some crazy story about the woman from Cleveland I would do so and be paid just the same.
Sometimes I think if I could prove I was the influencer my wish would be granted. Sometimes I think about it and figure if I don’t shoot for the moon but capture a few stars that is not so bad either and it only happens if I have big enough numbers to do convince sponsors they need to be here.
During those moments I tell myself I need to construct a plan and then follow it because that is the best way to make things happen and then I laugh.
The laughter comes because of the great contradiction tied up in these words. I like coloring outside the lines. I march the beat of a drummer who has no rhythm and that makes me happy.
It wouldn’t be particularly hard for me to put together a plan that would help this sucker grow much more quickly than it is now but I don’t want to. I like doing it theÂ hard way.
Someone once told me it is because I fear failure and that this is how I protect myself but I laughed at that too. There is no doubt I have stories about missed opportunities but I have more than a few tales about how I took a chance.
Sit with me and you’ll see me search for ways to turn possibility into opportunity. You’ll see that I have tried many different ways to do so and that I have always done my best to make my own luck but that I never relied s0lely upon it.
Shit happens. Things happen. Life happens.
The question isn’t will they happen but what and when.
And when it does, what will you do.
Sundays In Texas
It occurs to me that Texas is proof of my willingness to run into the burning building or to venture into the cornfield to see where it is that Shoeless Joe goes to.
Do you know the story about Orpheus andÂ Eurydice? It is one of my favorites. I would storm the underworld. I would fight Hades and I would win. It might not be because of physical strength, in fact it probably wouldn’t be.
But I would win because I could tell him such a story he couldn’t bear to refuse me. Maybe I would sing Sundays In Texas for him or maybe not.
There are a lot of maybes and a lot of possibilities here but not a lot of definitelys.
That is by intent and design because some of the joy in writing comes from just putting words on paper to see where they lead but that doesn’t mean you have to tell the entire tale in one sitting.