The Most Staggering Adrenaline Rush…Ever

Sometimes you have to find your wings on the way down.

Sometimes you have to find your wings on the way down.

There are no coincidences because what you see, hear and do are part of something greater than us. It is tied into something larger that can be described as both mystical and magical.

Don’t ask me to explain this because I can’t tell you how or why. All I can say is that I know because I have experienced it. I have seen it. I have lived it. I have been there and that is all the proof that I can provide.

It won’t be enough for some of you. It won’t be the kind of thing that you can accept because you can’t buy, touch or taste it. Actually that is not true, you can but only if you open your mind and let your soul seek its match.

I know this because for the longest time I didn’t do it. I spent years not buying into it or believing that it could be real. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to because I did. I desperately wanted to believe that this thing was something tangible. Because I just knew that if I could feel it in my hands and see it with my eyes it would prove that there was something to this dream I had once lived.

You see I fell in love with a girl and I loved her fiercely. I loved her madly. I loved her passionately. I loved her in every way that the poets wrote of, spoke of and dreamed of.

I loved her with all of my heart and all of my soul. I loved her desperately and somewhere in that madness I lost her.

Some of you can’t feel what I am saying. These words have no meaning to you. They are figments of imagination that you can’t feel, see or taste. So they never grab you. Your heart, your eyes and your mind are closed to them.

I can’t fault or blame you because I used to be like you. I used to look at this sort of writing and roll my eyes because I didn’t know. I hadn’t seen. I hadn’t felt it.

But that was long ago. That was in the time before I became who I am now. That was before I understood that love is a drug that can make you soar to the highest heights and or drop your ass into a pit so dark and dank you can’t remember what it felt like to see sunshine.

Some of you are nodding your head. You don’t even realize that you are doing it. You aren’t even aware that your pulse has quickened and you can’t see anything other than these words and even those are growing faint.

That is because we are running with the moon you and I. We are partners on a journey and you want to know more about my story because you hope that maybe it holds some sort of key insight to your story.

You want to know about the girl I loved and what happened to her. You want to know if there is hope for us because if there is hope for us there might be some for you.

The thing that is ever so interesting about this is that I haven’t given you much in the way of detail. You haven’t heard about how we met in the most unusual way or how crazy it all was. You don’t know how it is we fell in love. You wonder if I am exaggerating or maybe you don’t.

Maybe you know what it is like to have that kind of passion where you can’t stand not having that person in your life because there is a gaping void that aches and burns without respite.  Maybe you too were surprised to discover that the kind of crazy love you experienced the first time you ever fell in love could come back. Maybe you were shocked by the passion and overwhelmed by the loss of the friendship that you had.

Because that friendship threw you for a loop. It wasn’t just about love or lust. You liked them as a person. They filled the gaps and made you believe that you could be more than you were. They made you believe that all that hokey stuff you read in cheap paperbacks or saw on television might be based in reality. You understood that you could be naked in every possible way with them and be confident that they would caress your soul and cradle your heart.

It doesn’t have to be a dream. You don’t have to keep running with the moon. You don’t have to feel that enormous sense of loss or wonder whether you can ever love and be loved like that again because if it happened once it can happen again.

There are no coincidences. You can live your dream. You can find a way back. All you need to do is let go, submit to the reality of the possibility and accept that there will be opportunity.

It is not poetry or fiction. It is reality. It can’t happen on its own but if you ask and if you believe you will find the answer. You don’t need the old gypsy woman to sell you Love Potion number 9.

There are no coincidences.

The Most Staggering Adrenaline Rush…Ever

We stood on the balcony wrapped in each other’s arms and got lost in a minute that turned into an endless moment. When she asked me to tell her why things felt like they did I called it The Most Staggering Adrenaline Rush…Ever and then watched her eyes narrow and widen again.

Saw her try to figure out if I was feeding her a line and then relax when she realized I wasn’t. Felt her melt against me, nuzzled her neck and heard her promise to be mine forever. The soft whisper of insecurity and wondering whether it was true crept up inside, asked me if I could let go and believe.

Asked me if I could let go of the earth and allow us to float into the twilight sky and do so without fear of falling because that fear was and is the anchor that prevented things from following the natural course.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to see with my heart and felt possibility flow into opportunity and this time when the jester threatened to rain down on our parade I smiled at him and watched him gnash his teeth. Watched him shake his fist and promise to turn joy into ash.

Once that would have worried me. Once I would have wondered if we had bitten off more than we could chew but not anymore because now I had seen fantasy manifest as reality and felt the joy that comes when free fall turns into soaring through the evening sky.

Now I could say I know things with the sort of confidence that only comes from experience because sometimes there are no coincidences.

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  1. TheJackB May 18, 2014 at 10:22 am

    @Robin  I remember being shocked when it happened when I was older, it just took me by surprise how powerful it could be.

  2. TheJackB May 18, 2014 at 10:22 am

    Natalie the Singingfool  Thank you. I go through cycles where I don’t write about it. Sometimes I feel goofy and I just avoid it.

    But when you are experiencing the real deal, man…

  3. Robin May 17, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    Love that makes you believe. I never thought of it as the “most staggering adrenaline rush – ever”, but it is like that, especially when it is new. Beautifully written.

  4. Natalie the Singingfool May 17, 2014 at 10:16 am

    I love it when you write about love. It is full of feeling, beautifully expressed. I have had this experience, and yes, my heart beat quickened and my breathing shortened while I read this because it is familiar. I just keep it locked away most days and don’t look at it.

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