How To Get A Mom/Dad Blogger To Sleep With You

wrapped gifts under tree

Who wants some blogger swag…

Remember last September when we ran The 25 Most Annoying Bloggers & Why You Can’t Sleep With Them or the other day when we shared Everyday Is Punch A Social Media Expert In The Mouth Day?

Well I am not going to focus on either of them today nor is this going to be about bloggers who are only in the game for the swag or the attention.

But I will tell you if you want to read about the letter I signed as Seth Godin you can check out that first link because I came up with one of my favorite lines there:

In fact, I hope she does. I hope she gets you hot and bothered and then chews upon your manhood as if it were the best Coney Island hot dog she had ever found.

I don’t care if it is cheesy to reproduce that and put it in blockquotes because I don’t need your approval after all I am 45 and semi grown up.

Is This The Life You Expected?

My children asked me if this is the life I expected and I told them it is nothing like I expected, more or less. I could give you a long list of reasons why but I just don’t feel like it now but stick around and I’ll share a few things.

Every year I try to write a post about a dear friend who died at 29. Last year I called it Death Doesn’t Steal Our Memories.

Been thinking about it because my baby cousin isn’t expected to make it to her 33rd birthday. Been thinking about it because I know other stories about people who have illnesses that are supposed to be terminal and it always makes me focus on what matters.

By that I mean focus on determining what matters to me. The purpose is to isolate what I want and what I need so that I can focus upon those things.

Someone once told me that was very selfish and I agreed with them it is selfish, but I see reason to balance selfishness versus selflessness.

It is because life is short and the unexpected can turn your world upside down. I don’t have any plans to die young and if you are among the long time readers you know I expect to live to be 130. Genetics tends to favor my passing 90 without too much trouble, but you never know.

My son and I had a long talk the other day about what life was like when I was 20 and 25. He wanted to know if he would recognize me and I laughed.

I told him I am sure he would even with some of the physical differences and I told him sometimes I wish he could have seen me then.

Time travel, man what I would give for the opportunity to go back. I have wondered what my father and grandfathers were like in their twenties too.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for us all to be in our twenties, at the height of our physical strength and to go on some adventure together.

If that doesn’t give you some sense of how my head works I don’t know what will.

Things That Matter

I had to adjust my workout the other day because something in my left arm didn’t feel quite right. Time has taught me that these mystery aches and pains don’t always disappear as quickly as they did when I was younger so I don’t always try to power through them as I once did.

It was frustrating but it got me thinking about what would have happened if I had spent the last 20 some years as a professional athlete or a farmer. What would my body be like if I hadn’t spent most of these years at a desk?

Would these mystery aches still show up? I spent so many years playing contact sports that the mileage might have caught up with me anyhow.

But maybe not. Maybe I would be different physically than I am now. Would my 19 year-old metabolism still be a memory? Would I be able to eat without consequence?


All told it pushes me to do what I can to improve my physical condition which while is not bad is still not close to where I want it to be. The hardest part of all that is adjusting to the current reality and not the one I want.

You can interpret that to mean not eating like I am nineteen or expecting the same physical responses to the various things that happen.

There is an upside to all this and that is life experience has made it far easier for me to figure out what matters most and take steps to focus upon those things.

Read through the blog and you’ll find lots of posts where I say people matter. It is because they do and because when you have been surprised with unexpected deaths you recognize the importance of trying to spend whatever time we have with the people you care the most about.

How To Get A Mom/Dad Blogger To Sleep With You

It is always nice to be recognized as being a blogger who has influence. It is great to see your readership increase and to be invited to participate in the blog conferences and ambassadorships.

Those things are fun and it certainly doesn’t hurt when people tell you that your post or posts touched them but the fleeing moments of euphoria that comes with that isn’t enough to keep pushing me to do this.

I thought about it all earlier today because I took a look at the blog and thought about how much work I have to do here. I want to take all the posts that are linked on the old blog here and put together a page here with TheJackB links, not to mention add all of the relevant links for the posts that were written here.

And I have to continue to sift through the old posts and weed out the broken links and add pictures to the posts that don’t have any.

Is it not because it will help my SEO efforts or make it more likely to get a writing gig elsewhere but because this place is my online home and every home requires some maintenance.

And what kind of father would I be if I didn’t work on the house cyber and otherwise.

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  1. Sebastian Aiden Daniels June 20, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    I also wonder what it would be like to hang out with my dad when he was young. I also wonder what it was like parents when they met, aka Back to The Future. It’d be weird to know that moment.

    I wonder what my dad is like at his work place. He is a very successful businessman, but rarely ever talks about work or his coworkers, so I wonder how he manages all of the people who work under him.

    I wonder what my fifty year old self will think of my twenty four year old self. : O

  2. Mi Muba June 20, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Hi Jack
    While reading your whole post a quote stuck up to my mind and I am sharing it with you.
    “It is not important what you are, the more important is how you are.”
    This is the main problem we all are facing with low or high intensity. Even people don’t see what is being said they just want to know who said this.
    You are right those who just want a few hundred likes, a few comments and a pinch of following they can be anything but unforgettable super hero.
    Thanks a lot for sharing this wonderful post where you magnified the small things into a big canvas. You did a great job.

  3. Larry June 19, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    My life is nothing like what I expected either though not quite sure what I expected.
    I’ve been fighting a decision about what I want to do and maybe should do verse what is most responsible/reliable. Struggling with it.
    So sorry to hear about your cousin.
    In terms of the question to start the blog, I think your wife would be more qualified to answer.

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