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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Judaism

Why Be Jewish

June 15, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Some posts write themselves. I pick the topic and the words flow straight from the keyboard onto the cyber canvas you read them upon. Sometimes it is much more challenging. Sometime it feels like a war in which I engage in multiple battles to produce a post that is worth publishing.

This particular post has been part of the latter. I have tried to write it many times but have consistently been disappointed in it and consequently deleted and started over. But I decided that perhaps I was over thinking it and so I sat down and banged out the copy that you are reading now.

Religion is a funny thing. Some people cite it as the source of all that is good in their lives and others blame it for every possible ill. I have had more discussions than I can count about Israel with people who blame the conflict upon religious/ideological warfare.

So it got me thinking about a number of things such as why do people believe in whatever faith they believe in. Adult converts are easy. At some point in time they decided that they were not satisfied with whatever they believed and made the decision to change. But the question for those of us who did not convert is why.

Why be Jewish? Why are you a Jew? What makes you want to do it? Is it only because you were born into it or is there something more. So I conducted an informal and unscientific poll in which I emailed somewhere around 100 bloggers from the Jblogosphere and asked them to answer the question.

I received back from very interesting responses and thought that I would share them with you. In the interest of confidentiality I’ll share their words but I am not going to identify them. It will be their choice to step from behind the curtain.

I’m Jewish because I was born Jewish. I have to be honest, if I wasn’t born Jewish I don’t know that I’d have become Jewish. I tend to be the sort of person who goes with the flow. If I had been the product of a mixed marriage, I really don’t know which way I’d go. Though I suspect in such circumstances I’d probably choose one or the other religion.

*************

I am Jewish because it is my heritage.

*************

I am Jewish because having a purposeful life is imperative.Because of all of the purported purposes in the world, this one makes the most sense to me.There is no “dead space” in a well-lived Jewish life. No “killing time.”

There is nothing that doesn’t matter, from when we wake up until we go to sleep — and even our sleep time can be sanctified.

When I was young, “free, white and 21” was a popular explanation for why I could do whatever I wanted to do. And that was freedom.

As I lived a while, I realized that freedom like that is only the freedom to screw up. I think I felt truly free for the first time in my life when I understood what the boundaries were.

Adults are not so much different from children, after all. We also play with the most joy and abandon when we know where the walls and the cliffs are located, and that they are clearly marked.

*************

Judaism connects me to my father. His memory is what caused me to seek out Judaism.
I thrive on the structure that the Jewish calendar imparts
Keeping Kosher makes me think about God every time I eat.
I love how the world melts away when I light Shabbat candles.
I love that every week, we have a reason to celebrate.
I have children who remind me daily that there is something bigger than me in the world.
The music and liturgy of Shabbat morning services soothes my soul.
I love the Jewish community and sense of extended family that I have found.
My heart sings when I hear my almost 5 year old son singing Ma Yafe Hayom at the top of his lungs while showering. Or when my 9 1/2 year old asks the Hazzan if she can lead part of the service.
I have the world’s most precious gift that I can pass along to my children.
Oh. And because I was born that way.

*************

The fact of it is that I am Jewish because my parents are Jewish and I was born Jewish. Maybe that goes without saying but if I were not born Jewish, there is no reason to believe that I would have sought out Judaism because the values so deeply resonated within me.

I happened to go to Jewish summer camp and fell in love with the friends and community I made. Years later, you could insert “Israel” into that sentence. It sounds a bit odd and irrational to say something is such an important value when I don’t feel like I ever really CHOSE it but that’s life.

How many Amish, Catholics, or charedim would have chosen their lives if they hadn’t been born into that world?

*************

I am a Jew because I believe I am part of something bigger than myself that is real. I grew up in a non-religious home and have become more religious on my own. I have felt a connection to HaShem if my life and my travels to Jerusalem. I am a part of something special, and I am proud of my heritage and the future of my people.

*************

I grew up with it, in a watered down religious way, and in a home of immigrants who had been persecuted because they are/were Jewish. I had lots of my own experiences here in the States, both as a youngster and as an adult. One fine day I realized that I owe my very existence to Jew hatred – without it, presumably, my parents would have never fled their home countries, and presumably would have never met, thus obviatingmy conception. Can you believe it Jack; I, a Jew, owe my existence to Adolph Hitler?

And people think I’m weird. Anyway, as I’ve grown older, Judaism has grown in and on me. At this point in my life, I can’t do without it.

*************

Why am I Jewish?The answer goes beyond the simple accident of birth, that chance fusing of DNA from the son of Polish Ashkenazic immigrants and the daughter of Russian Ashkenazic immigrants. That alone would suffice, but it would not explain why I – a devout skeptic – put on tefillin and a tallit and say my prayers almost every day.

To be a Jew means more than to be an ancestor of the people who escaped Egyptian slavery and who stood at the base of Mount Horeb. Those stories go to the heart of our nation-building experience, but they do not completely explain the curious combination of deep moral vision and common sense that are the essential components of the Jewish belief system.

We Jews are, ideally, a kingdom of priests and a holy nation, a light unto the world – who would not want to be a part of such a nation? That is why I am Jewish.

Our national history teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves, to not shun the stranger – for we were strangers in the land of Egypt. Who better than to carry the torch of social justice, to set a positive example?

To us Jews, faith is important – but deeds are much more so. That is why I am Jewish. I am Jewish because I am the descendant of people who were not content merely to pray to God, but had the chutzpah to bargain with, argue with, and cajole Him.

I am Jewish because we need no intermediaries between us and the Almighty, an ineffable Spirit who does not need to incarnate Himself in order to understand the deepest thoughts of His creations, who created them without sin or blemish (and without perfection) – but with Free Will. That is why I am Jewish.

Plus…gefilte fish!

*************

Why am I Jewish? Birth. That’s all. I mean, ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu, etc,

*************

Birth for a starter. I wasn’t raised in a religious home, but we knew we were Jewish. I could have turned away into an American universalist. In my childhood days, most people had religion, except for the rare intermarried family.

Today no religion is more common.

I’m the type who likes to be part of something, and if I’m part of something I take it seriously. So, today I’m a Torah Jew, aka Orthodox.

*************

Quite simply, I AM Jewish because I was born into a Jewish family with Jewish parents. It doesn’t take much more than uterine luck to be a Jew in many cases.

It’s what one does with that birthright that defines his or her Judaism. I’ve written about my belief that every Jew is a Jew by choice, but I’ve never really gotten into the why, so here we go.

I am a practicing Jew because the basic concepts work for me. Observing commandments like keeping kosher make me feel connected to something much bigger than me; it connects me to thousands of years of heritage and to all kosher Jews around the world today.

On a more theological level, I like being part of a religion that allows its adherents to question everything and often encourages the practice. I could not be in a faith where such grappling is not a core value. I mean, we’ve devoted whole books to wrestling with core ideological questions and they’ll never be done.

Judaism is a living thing unto itself and that’s pretty damn cool. We infuse everything from mundane tasks to sublime revelations with holiness. Who else makes a religion out of eating but the Jews?

More than that, we have crammed a holistic way of life into our faith without being absolute.

Finally, I’m Jewish because it resonates with me. I find comfort in the memories of my home during holidays, of the friends from various youth groups and Hebrew school and college classes, and of the incredible hospitality I’ve encountered in my travels.

*************

You could look at painter Marc Chagall’s reply when he was asked ‘who is a Jew?’. He defined a Jew as anybody the world treated as one.

It’s certainly one answer, even for those totally assimilated ‘progressive’ Jews on the Left who may one day find out exactly how Jewish their political allies see them as.

We are a religion and a nationality at the same time, the only group of people whom I can think of for which that can be said.

Why am I a Jew? Because it is part of whom I am. It is as natural to me as breathing.

To deny it would be an act of self-hatred. The simplest answer, of course, is that I am a Jew because Hashem made me one, and it was not an accident.

Embracing that in all its facets without apology or second thoughts is a fascinating experience, especially if you believe, as I do, that G-d has a special purpose and plan for the Jewish people.

*************

Born Jewish. Went to Jewish school. Went to very non Jewish university. Didn’t know how to be Jewish on my own. Dated non Jewish men. Parents rather angry. I didn’t really get way, because we weren’t strict in our Jewish practice, did the eating non Kosher thing when we were out and about and didn’t keep Shabbat at all.

In fact Shabbat was spent shopping.

Anyway, eventually married non Jewish man. I had a bit of a life eye opener a couple of years back when, i nearly died. Emergency surgery and a couple of years of “finding myself” and i found myself back (sort of) where i started practicing my religion once more, only more strictly (and more seriously) than i had with my parents.

Why am i Jewish? Because after years of not behaving Jewishly, “being Jewish” is a better fit for me spiritually.

*************

I was born to a Jewish mother. they tell me that that makes me Jewish. Recently this issue has been bothering a student I’ve been working with in school. It comes down to trust in the oral tradition, to the idea that the written Torah is shorthand.

I was once a witness for a friend before he got married in Jerusalem. A large, tough looking rabbi asked me if my friend was Jewish. i said yes. Then he surprised me by asking, “Eich atah yodeah?” My basic answer was “homina, homina, homina,” but included some details like the fact that my friend went to day schools/yeshivot his whole life, his father was a rabbi, and (my favorite) everyone assumed he was Jewish. The big man bought it.

As far as I know I am Jewish. My understanding is that this can not easily be undone, and maybe it can’t be undone even with great effort (G-d forbid). We are called G-d’s children, and there’s no divorce for children. The question asked was why am I Jewish, so I guess that answers that.

One could wonder why am I or my compatriots actively Jewish. What compels me to be a Jewy Jew? To me, that’s a more interesting question than why I am technically Jewish and a much more difficult question to answer. I think so much in life that we present in life as ideology is actually largely sociology. Why we hold the opinions and beliefs that we do is very much about what we’ve experienced in life. Pursuant to that point I feel that I can never thank my parents enough for having sent me, from Kindergarten on, to Jewish Day Schools.

I could go on and on with this question, expanding it, branching it out into related question upon question: why am I Orthodox (and what does Orthodox mean?), why am I the kind of Orthodox Jew that I am (and what kind is that?), why am I a rabbi? , why do I teach Jewish Studies, what do I believe are the important actions, elements, beliefs of a Jew?, and on and on and on.

I’m going to close this answer up now. I’m not sure if it fits so much as I’d like it to, but I’ll end with an analogy. In Gadi Pollack’s Once Upon A Tale (translated by Devorah GoldshmiedtI the following moshol is presented in the introduction.

A man was staying with a close friend of his, in an inn, in a foreign land. He was dependent on his pal, because he did not know the language of the country they were visiting.

One day, during a rare moment our protagonist found himself alone in his room. The innkeeper stormed into the room and began shouting in a his language. The star of our story didn’t understand a word.

The other gentleman started screaming more frantically, pointing at the clock on the wall, motioning to the door.

All the guest could think of was that he was about to be thrown out if he didn’t pay up. he offered the owner money to no avail The scene replayed itself in a perpetual loop until the other guest returned.

He immediately understood that the proprietor was warning them that there was a fire at the other end of the hotel and that it could spread and that they’d best get outside right away.

A lesson from this story that we can glean is that often in life messages are being sent our way from G-d.

This I believe.

We sometimes misinterpret messages based on our own biases and lack of knowledge of the language of G-d. The messages I’ve been sent in my life, and continue to receive have made clear to me that a traditional Jewish life is the path of truth.

*************

I was born Jewish, so evidently it is God’s will that it be so. I bend to his will and do the best I can to keep the traditions alive and pass them down to my children and to my students. But had I been given a choice before birth, I would have chosen not to be Jewish. I think that life would be easier without all the burdens that Judaism places upon us.

*************

I’m non religious. My Dad was raised in an orthodox orphanage in 20s/30s Berlin; my Mom was raised by her Christian mother and her assimilated Jewish father. Both converged in Palestine, though.

My Dad was lucky enough to have a teacher who was making Aliyah take my Dad with him. He ended up helping found a kibbutz in 1935. He also became a Marxist, abandoning his religion. He died a Reagan Democrat, with a respect for religion, but he never went back.

My Mom’s assimilated Jewish father was profoundly affected by Herzl’s Zionism. He made his first journey to Palestine in 1912, or so, along with such other Austro-Hungarian Zionists as Stefan Zweick.

He eventually moved the family to Tel Aviv in 1935, and my Mom, at 13, started school there.

My Mom had good religious training in the schools, but was never religious herself.

During WWII, my Dad was in the RAF; my Mom was in concentration camp in Indonesia (long story).

After the war, both were repatriated to Palestine, and both fought in the War of Independence. My Dad, for about 5 minutes, until a bigger fish came along, was the first Jewish commander of Jaffa since the Roman era; my mom was a draftsman for the Army.

I am, therefore, deeply connected to Israel.

When my parents came to America, they continued to be nonreligious. They didn’t realize that it’s one thing to be a non-religious Jew in a Jewish country, and a non-religious Jew in a Christian/secular country.

So religion isn’t my Jewishness. And yet I still feel Jewish.My parents friends were, without exception, Jewish. My parents social reference points were, without exception, Jewish.

My Dad’s jokes were, with few exceptions, Jewish. Our sense of empathy was tied to Jews — those who died in the Holocaust and those who lived in Israel.

I know I’m Jewish and I make sure my kids know they’re Jewish.

Filed Under: Judaism

Judaism-Interdenominational Melee Thoughts

June 2, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I am working on or at least thinking about two posts. The first is my “Why are you Jewish” and the second is the self indulgent happy blogiversary post that I want/need to write. In between I decided to touch upon both of these with a comment or two about some things that are going on.

Or should I say that I am sort of revisiting topics that never really go away. There is an ongoing struggle within Judaism for control of the future of the religion. It is a battle that is not limited to Judaism, it is something that you see in all religions.

I’ll apologize in advance for not providing a glossary or explanation of all the ideas and thoughts here, I am pressed for time.

From a Judaic standpoint you can boil it down to whether Torah is Min ha-shamayim or not. Did Hashem give Moshe the Torah or was it divinely inspired. There are significant differences in interpretation and that makes all the difference.

Some of you may remember a show from the late 70’s/’80s or so called The Greatest American Hero. I like using it to try and explain some of my thoughts on this. Here is the YouTube description of the show:

A teacher is asked to be a superhero using a special alien suit with powers he can barely understand or control, after losing the instruction manual. He is aided by a Government Agent. Along with his lawyer girlfriend, together they figure out not only how to control the suit, but to right wrongs.

The hero, Ralph has this incredible suit, but only the foggiest idea how to use it. So he has to learn by undergoing a trial and error learning process. At times it is painful, flying is hard and his landings are painful. Gradually he figures it out and in time comes to be fairly proficient at using it.

That is similar to one explanation I heard many years ago about Torah. Granted it doesn’t touch upon the Oral Law, which I think is a mistake.

A better explanation would be to tie it into the concept of Originalism as it applies to the U.S. Constitution. Given the current nominee for the court you might enjoy reading through it.

Anyhoo, the idea if you are not familiar with it is that the founding fathers wrote the document and we should follow the intent without any sort of deviation. That is opposed by the idea of a living Constitution. That allows for a more flexible interpretation of the law.

To me the latter makes far more sense. Life is not what it was two hundred years ago, let alone 2,500 years. We moved from believing that slavery was ok, that some people were worth less because of their skin color. We understand now that the sun doesn’t revolve around the earth and that the earth is not flat.

So it makes sense that we explore and consider what we are doing and why. If you cannot engage in self examination there is a problem. If you dare not challenge your beliefs then maybe you haven’t got enough of a foundation to support it.

All that being said faith is a central component of it all. I challenge much, but at the same time there are things that I just accept based upon faith alone. It is not always logical or rational, but in general it works for me.

Here is an old joke that I have shared on the blog before:

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets the rabbi who is supposed to perform the ceremony. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, “Rabbi, we realize it’s tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, we’d like your permission to dance together.”

The rabbi answers, “No way! “Men and women always dance separately!”

The man then asks, “So after the ceremony you mean I can’t even dance with my own wife?”

The rabbi replies, “It’s forbidden!”

The man asks, “Can we finally have sex?”

The rabbi replies, “Of course! Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have many children!”

“What about different positions?” asked the man?

“No problem,” says the rabbi, “It’s a mitzvah!”

“Well then, how about a woman on top?” the man asks.

Rabbi replies, “It’s mitzvah!”

“How about Doggy Style?”

“Another mitzvah!”

“On the kitchen table?”

“A mitzvah!”

“Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno film?”

“It’s all a mitzvah!”

“Can we do it standing up?”

“NO, NO, NO!” cries the rabbi.

“Well, why not?” asks the man.

Rabbi answers, “Could lead to dancing!”

And here are some posts that are somewhat related to this topic. I need to pick it up again at a later date and get an earlier start on it.

As an FYI, some of these posts were written quite some time ago. I need to review them and determine if I still agree with everything I wrote. In any case, I’ll put them here so that I can find them.

Who is A Jew
Robbing The Bride and Groom
Jews- The Interdenominational Melee
Prayer In School
Second Guessing Ourselves- Elul Times Two
The Future of Judaism
Orthodox Versus Jewry- Or My Blood is More Jewish
My Brother- A Lesson in Simple Physics

Filed Under: Judaism

Post Preview- Why Are You Jewish

May 26, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Earlier this week I sent out an email to a list of bloggers of mixed backgrounds asking them to participate in an upcoming post. Enclosed in the email was one question, Why Are You Jewish?

Quite a number of them have responded and I am in the process of trying to construct a proper framework for this so that I can produce a post that will do justice to the topic and stories.

It may sound like an easy question but I think that there is far more to it than many people realize. One of the reasons I asked was my curiosity in learning if most people are Jewish simply because of birth or because of a conscious decision.

Obviously the gerim (converts) fall into a slightly different category. But even so I am still curious to learn how many chose to become Jewish because they wanted to and how many did it so that they could marry their spouse.

In any case I am going to try and get it done for publication later this week, but there is still a chance that it may end up having to wait a bit longer. Keep checking in here and I’ll keep you posted.

Filed Under: Judaism

Alysa Stanton Becomes First Female Black Rabbi

May 22, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

From ABC:

“Growing up in a black, Pentecostal family in Cleveland, Alysa Stanton never imagined the day when she would be preparing to be ordained as a rabbi. But that day will come June 6 for the single mother who will be ordained by the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati, becoming the first African-American female rabbi in the world.

“Ten years ago, if someone said I was going to be a rabbi, I would have laughed,” Stanton, 45, told ABCnews.com. “Me, a spiritual leader?”

Soon-to-be rabbi Stanton and her daughter Shana, 14, whom she adopted when she was 14 months old, will move to Greenville, N.C., in August, where Stanton will take her spot behind the pulpit at Congregation Bayt Shalom, which is both conservative and reform.

Stanton, a reform Jew, said that her mother encouraged her to explore different religions as a young child and that, at the age of 9, she was already asking her priest to teach her about Kaballah, which focuses on the mystical aspect of Judaism.

Then, at age 10, she received her first Hebrew grammar book from her devout Christian uncle who made it a habit to attend Jewish ceremonies, as well as his own. By her early 20s, Stanton said she’d decided to convert.

“Most people convert because they’re marrying or dating someone who is Jewish or for another reason other than just picking that spiritual path,” Stanton said.

“I did so because it was the path for me,” she said. “Not only from a religious standpoint but from an ethical and social and communal standpoint, it was important to me.”

Let’s see what the J-blogosphere’s Gil Student had to say about this, also from the same article.

“But the Orthodox Jewish community, which has historically not permitted women to hold leadership roles in its congregations, is less accepting of Stanton’s upcoming ordination because of her sex.

“My general feeling, as a rabbi, is that there is a great deal of room for everyone to have spiritual fulfillment in Judaism but the public role of a rabbi is only for certain people and that excludes women,” Orthodox Rabbi Gil Student of New York City told ABCNews.com. “That’s based on tradition and enshrined in law.”

As for race, Student said that neither he nor the Orthodox Jewish community finds any problem with African-American Jews. “There is no such thing as skin color in Judaism, it doesn’t exist,” Student said. “

Filed Under: Judaism, Men and Women, Rabbi

Transitions- Passover Seder

April 7, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Some of my favorite memories as a young boy are of shaving with my father. I was around five or so and had my own special razor. It was special because it didn’t have a blade in it, but I didn’t care. Dad would help me lather up and we’d share the mirror and shave together.

Eventually we’d finish and he’d help me clean off the remaining shaving cream and throw on some aftershave. Mom would always compliment me on how good I was at it, how smooth my face was.

I thought about that earlier today. We were at the hospital visiting my grandmother and mom made a comment about how thick my beard is and the lines in my forehead. She is having a harder time accepting my turning 40 than her turning 65. Or maybe it is that it is becoming harder to visualize me as the little boy I once was.

At the moment things with grandma aren’t serious and it appears that she’ll be out in time to join us for the seder. It is going to be at my house again. It is the second time that I get to run the show.

Last year it wasn’t a planned event. The folks had been spent a couple of months in Israel. My dad got sick and was briefly hospitalized and as a result when they came back to the states he had to undergo some treatment on the East Coast.

As a result the seder was moved from my parent’s home to mine. It was a big deal to me. While I had always expected that one day I would take over I hadn’t ever imagined that it would happen as it did.

This year my mother called to ask if we could do it again and of course we said yes. It is kind of funny, but I am a bit nervous about it. Last year they weren’t here to see me lead, but this year they will be. This year my father won’t be at the head of the table, I will and it will be my job to run the show.

So it occurs to me that when I think about 40 years of Pesach memories that my children are finally old enough to really remember things. They have already begun talking about last year and are asking what they are going to get to do this year.

Part of me doesn’t feel old enough to do this. Part of me says that I can’t possibly be that old and part of me is excited to take this on. Inside my mind I am mapping out what I want to do and trying to decide how I want things to run.

At the same time I have so many images running through my skull. So many memories of past sedarim. A mental scrapbook of things that once were. Great-grandparents, my great-grandparents telling their own stories. My great-grandmother saying that she was shikkered (drunk) from the grape juice. My father talking about his grandfather’s English and how he always read “herb” without the silent “H.”

Earlier today my daughter asked me to tell her who was worse, Haman or Pharoah. And then she wanted to know if they got to eat Matzah Pizza in the desert.

So many thoughts and so many things to consider. What do I want to emphasize. What is most important for the children to get out of this. Some of the adults will be less than patient, so what do I do to keep them interested.

I am struggling to keep this moving forward, so I’ll go for the default option and provide some links to past posts about the holiday.

Struggling With Pesach
Passing The Baton- Grandma is 94
Passover- The High Cholesterol Holiday
What is Your Favorite Pesach Memory?
Some Passover Musings
Passover

Filed Under: Judaism, Life

Newsweek Lists Top 50 Rabbis Again

April 5, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

We covered the last two times so we might as well hit this one too. Course some of my favorite rabbis aren’t on that list.

Filed Under: Judaism, People

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