You know what I saw when I looked up at the blue sky above, a perennial cheater and overrated quarterback named Tom Brady.
A man who started his winning ways by being the beneficiary of a horrific call, yeah the Tuck rule was awful and if Brady were an honest man he would have acknowledged it that day.
He would have been honorable and admitted that Charles Woodson stripped him of the ball. Had he come clean about that fumble we might not have had years of controversy surrounding him and his deflated ethics, but he didn’t and one must deal with reality.
The Patriots are cheaters, very successful cheaters, but cheaters nonetheless.
That is part of why I prefer to do my tailgating on the college circuit. It is not to say that everything is always on the up and up, but it just doesn’t feel as dirty.
Tailgating U Is A Better Way To Do & Be
(Cue Cool intro music and a deep voice saying) “Together we are Team@ESPNGolic!” (Cue cool end music.)
I have had the good fortune to tailgate at both pro and college football games and can confirm that tailgating at a college game is almost always better than an NFL game.
You won’t find me writing that just because studies show that Â Americans prefer tailgating for college football to pro footballÂ but because in my experience college wins and in the age of the Internet we don’t need to support our statements with numbers because if it is written online it must be true.
If you are among those who would dare to question that you ought to remember that the first person to say that whatever you read online is true and accurate was President Abraham Lincoln.
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t argue with Honest Abe. Did I mention that he hates the patriots too, but I digress.
Part of what I love about tailgating at college games is that if you need an excuse to get away you can always call an old friend and ask him to join you on a road trip to visit your alma mater.
Alternatively if you are of a certain age and have children who will be heading off to college you could always claim you went to visit the university to make sure it lives up to high academic standards and decided to tailgate because it would enable you to obtain crucial information about the school.
In the interest of not providing an evidence that could be used to perjure myself I won’t tell you why I opened up the closet-0f-doom butÂ I will confirm I needed some tailgating necessities.
Did I mention that one of the big fails people commit while tailgating is that they forget paper towels.
Well now you know andÂ if you happen to forget to bring them you can always raid the bathroom at the school library. I don’t want to deflate your high, but that is not something you can do at an NFL game.
After invoking the name of Honest Abe somewhere above I can’t lie and tell you the Lee Jeans I’m wearing in the picture are the same pair I wore in college because even though they have 125 years of experience making jeans they haven’t figured a way out to make people shrink-to-fit.
Someone in their R&D department ought to get on that, figure out how to make people shrink-to-fit your jeans and you’ll be rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Anyhoo, that leads me to a picture collage that helps tell the story of our 985th college tailgating trip of the 21st century.
An old friend used ancient technology (a payphone) to call collect to see if I wanted to join him on an adventure.
He said to pack light and to be ready ASAP because we were going to travel in style. So I threw on the jeans, grabbed a backpack and figured that a successful hedge fund manager would show up in a Bentley or something equally cool.
Remind me never to assume because the cheap bastard showed up on a tractor and said we’d make a grand entrance.
I told him that if we were going to play a game of Cornhole there was no doubt in my mind that a tractor was the perfect ride.
He called me a snob and I told him that I’d teach him how to play a real tailgating sport like Beer Pong because let’s be real, beer is the perfect drink to go with tailgating fare such as wings, brats and burgers.
And let’s not forget the three co-eds on campus who referred to the tractor driver as sir and treated him like the parent of a college student or the fact they said they believed me when I said I was a third year student at the university.
That is proof that they had been tailgating for quite some times before we came upon them or that they are legally blind, maybe both.
What Is the Answer? Is College Or Pro Better?
If you have to ask whose better at spying upon other teams and getting away with stuff they shouldn’t, well we have to say a certain pro team is, but if the question is about which provides a better tailgating opportunity than it is college.
Let’s see what the experts say?
Sounds to me like the answer is clear, college is better and if you are going to wear jeans make sure you are wearing something comfortable like a pair of Lee Jeans Relaxed fit.