Dear Celtic Fan

Dear celtic fan,

Some of you have been trying to give me a little heat because I refuse to say that you have the better team. Get used to it, I am not going to change my tune. Yes, you are up 3-2. You have won one more game than we have. But that doesn’t make you the better team.

You are still the underdog here. Still the team that has made fewer mistakes and that translates into victory. The NBA has what, 30 teams that are in the league. Virtually all of them make the playoffs. In fact, if your team didn’t make the playoffs it is probably because they died in a plane crash or are lying comatose somewhere.

Not nice, but true. Everyone makes the playoffs. Your homer Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy had all sorts of things to say about you.

I thought the Celtics played their fans this season. Don’t rope us in with “ubuntu” for two years then turn your back on it like it was a kabbalah fad or something. Don’t tell us to embrace “The New Big Three,” then shop Ray Allen for eight months like he was a used car. Don’t tell us our best forward’s knee is fine when we see him limping. Don’t blame the effort of your players after a loss when you played all 12 of them like they were Little Leaguers, or when you keep playing the one guy who exhibits no effort whatsoever without calling him out once. Don’t sign a second center for big bucks, then act surprised when the incumbent center bristles about his playing time. So on and so on. It was an empty season filled with excuses, half-truths and false promises. Just because they won two years ago doesn’t mean fans had to blindly condone it.

Or what about this gym dandy one:

“Sheed’s Celtics are 25-24 since Christmas. The 2008 world champs killed themselves every night. A depleted 2008-09 Celtics team exhibited remarkable pride and heart. Now they’re bored and sluggish? Now they’re searching for ways to get fired up? Now they’re blowing home games left and right? Now they’re on pace to break the unofficial record for “most players-only meetings and clear-the-air dinners” by a contender in one season? A team led by three future Hall of Famers who ALWAYS tried in the past? It doesn’t add up.

Sheed may not have infected the Celtics as Character X did, but he did compromise the one thing that made them special: intensity. They care only when it suits them. The seven words that defined Sheed’s career. Both the team and Sheed think they have an on/off switch that can be flicked at any time. Not true. They are in denial. “Lost” has the Smoke Monster; the Celtics have the Smoke and Mirrors Monster. And it’s the entire team.” (emphasis mine)

So you’ll understand that I don’t give you much credit for losing your way into the play-offs. I don’t respect your play because it was half-assed. And it grates on my nerves to see the Lakers give away games that they could have easily won. Lackadaisical play and they are down to a team they could have swept.

I suppose that I’ll continue to take some lumps for this one. If the Lakers choke it away I’ll be abused. But I am ok with that because what choice do I have. I don’t have to like it, but I may have to accept it.

Still, the series isn’t over yet and if the boys show just a little bit of fire you will be toast. Enjoy the moment celtic fan because the other thing that I know is that you are old and unless Ainge pulls off a miracle you won’t be competitive for a while.

For now we’ll keep fighting against your inferior team. Time will tell.

The Hokey Pokey Versus The Bunny Hop

Now I don’t know about you, but there are few things in life that are as exciting to me as creating a spontaneous Hokey Pokey or Bunny Hop. The idea is to find a crowd and then convince members of the crowd to join you in the dance. It is a fine way to make new friends and acquaintances.

You might be surprised at how quickly people will join you in the dance, especially if they see a camera or someone asking for their headshots. All it really takes is two or three people to get things going and before you know it there are hundreds and then thousands of people dancing.

This one time at bandcamp we went to the mall and convinced the security guards and the girls working at Hot Dog On a Stick to join us. What a hoot. You should have seen how quickly the bystanders became participants. I understand that this event served an introductory role to 17 different couples and now 15 years later there are 38 children who owe their being to the Great Hokey Pokey danceoff of 1989.

Just thinking about this makes my heart swell with pride.

I just know that if I could convince the UN to hold an impromptu Hokey Pokey we could bring peace to more places in the world. But, there is one caveat to this.

You have to be very careful not to let the World Bunny Hop Assoication (WBHA) show up at the same time at the Hokey Pokey Swinger (HBS) do their thing. There is a lot of bad blood between those groups. I may just have to share that with you a little later.