A Jealous Man

This is fiction based upon the prompt from the Red Dress Club.  Before I get to the prompt  let me share a thought. I was going to take this post here and edit it so that it could be used for the prompt but I didn’t like the way it worked. So I wrote the one below in 27 minutes which is probably why it is so damn rough. Anyway, here is the prompt and the post. Let me know what you think of it.

aah…jealousy. We all have it. We all feel it.And now we’d like you to write about it. We’ll leave it open: you can write about something or someone you envy, or a time when your jealousy got you in trouble, or maybe how it makes you feel to be envious. Whatever you want.

And it can be fiction or non-fiction. Word limit is 600.

I burn and ache for someone who has hidden her heart from me. I dance in the fire that we created reaching for fingers that were once intertwined among mine. But the hand that once held mine holds it no longer and the love that we shared is set adrift upon memories of what once was and hopes for what might yet be.

Amidst the burning and crackling of the flames I think that I see her standing in the distance. Smoke obscures my vision and sweat pours down my brow making it harder to see if it is really her.

I see her standing there with another man and I close my eyes. This cannot be. The smile that was once reserved for me is being flashed at another. Bedroom eyes that welcomed me with promises of steamy delight are focused upon him.

My jaw is clenched and my eyes have narrowed. It takes but a moment to size him up and determine that it would require minimal effort to rip off his arms and beat him silly. It might be difficult to kiss a man whose lips have been torn off and fed to the dogs.

Deep breaths are taken & I struggle to master the demons that have been unleashed inside of me. But it is hard because I wish to let go of the chains and let them quench their thirst for blood.

Yet the rational part of me says that the best thing to do is quench the flames. Ignore her. She isn’t someone who has to be the center of attention but you know that you are different. She wants your attention and your focus. Be rational and use your head. Ignore her.

Ignore her and you win. You know that it is not a contest, but you two are apart for a reason. Give yourself the time to focus on yourself and fix what needs fixing. Let her do the same and if the dreams are based on reality you’ll find each other…maybe.

But it is hard to see 6’2 of stupid. You think graphically and can’t help but visualize things you shouldn’t think about. Go dark and go deep. Let her wonder what happened to you and not the other way around.

His hand is on the small of her back and they are standing far too close to each other. There are two choices now. Walk away or go take him apart. Walking away is harder and far less satisfying at least in the short term.

Close your eyes and walk through Casablanca. It is your favorite movie. Picture Bogart as Rick. Dude starts out as the epitome of cool and than after she walks in he undergoes this transformation into someone who is angry and bitter.

And that ending, well in some ways it is heartbreaking but in others it is just the premier example of cool.

His other hand is on her hip and the image of the noble Rick evaporates in the mist and you hear Cee Lo Green singing and dangerous thoughts swirl through your head. The demons are howling and you take a step towards them.

All you need to do is cross the street and….

Links to Past TRDC posts:

(Visited 166 times, 1 visits today)

38 Comments

  1. The Drama Mama May 7, 2011 at 3:39 am

    Yes, yes, yes!! Jack, this is so much better than the other for this prompt. I love how for every thought your subconscious brings, the other man makes a comeback, almost as if he were reading your mind. It’s such great writing. I absolutely love this voice too.

    ” It might be difficult to kiss a man whose lips have been torn off and fed to the dogs.” Love this little bit of humor put in here. perfectly placed as well.

  2. The Drama Mama May 6, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Yes, yes, yes!! Jack, this is so much better than the other for this prompt. I love how for every thought your subconscious brings, the other man makes a comeback, almost as if he were reading your mind. It’s such great writing. I absolutely love this voice too.

    ” It might be difficult to kiss a man whose lips have been torn off and fed to the dogs.” Love this little bit of humor put in here. perfectly placed as well.

  3. Bill Dorman May 6, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    Interesting and want to bet we have all been 6’2″ of stupid……………ohhhh jealousy can be a very powerful and damaging emotion.

    • The JackB May 6, 2011 at 7:31 pm

      @a76049f6a32a1e633a732b81bafb98c9:disqus I think that jealousy can be among the most damaging of emotions. It can make you do such stupid things….

  4. Bill Dorman May 7, 2011 at 3:24 am

    Interesting and want to bet we have all been 6’2″ of stupid……………ohhhh jealousy can be a very powerful and damaging emotion.

    • The JackB May 7, 2011 at 3:31 am

      @a76049f6a32a1e633a732b81bafb98c9:disqus I think that jealousy can be among the most damaging of emotions. It can make you do such stupid things….

  5. Cheryl May 6, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    I like that you added a bit of humor to this. It lightened it up some and I think that’s a good thing.

  6. Cheryl May 6, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    I like that you added a bit of humor to this. It lightened it up some and I think that’s a good thing.

  7. Kris Mulkey May 6, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Love the passion you have for her. My favorite line – “it might be difficult to kiss a man whose lips have been torn off and fed to the dogs. MEOW. I can tell the character thought wiser of this and walked away.

    • The JackB May 6, 2011 at 7:22 pm

      @kmulkey007:disqus I want to show how the character struggles with this. It is supposed to be something that most people can relate to- at least if it works the way that I want it to.

  8. Kris Mulkey May 6, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Love the passion you have for her. My favorite line – “it might be difficult to kiss a man whose lips have been torn off and fed to the dogs. MEOW. I can tell the character thought wiser of this and walked away.

    • The JackB May 7, 2011 at 3:22 am

      @kmulkey007:disqus I want to show how the character struggles with this. It is supposed to be something that most people can relate to- at least if it works the way that I want it to.

  9. Christine Siracusa May 6, 2011 at 9:31 am

    ay ay ay. you really went there. very familiar and haunting territory. i have always walked away bc i can’t stand conflict, but it can be so unsatisfying. well done. the 6’2 line struck me as well.

  10. Christine S May 6, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    ay ay ay. you really went there. very familiar and haunting territory. i have always walked away bc i can’t stand conflict, but it can be so unsatisfying. well done. the 6’2 line struck me as well.

  11. VictoriaKP May 6, 2011 at 8:33 am

    I know I’m not the first to say it, but “6’2 of stupid” is a great line!

    I love your character’s internal debate about acting on his
    jealousy or letting it go.

  12. Anonymous May 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    I know I’m not the first to say it, but “6’2 of stupid” is a great line!

    I love your character’s internal debate about acting on his
    jealousy or letting it go.

  13. Sara May 6, 2011 at 8:11 am

    Oh,…and this was well done for writing it in 27 minutes…I’m impressed:~)

  14. Sara May 6, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Oh,…and this was well done for writing it in 27 minutes…I’m impressed:~)

  15. Sara May 6, 2011 at 8:10 am

    This one leaves me wondering, but I must admit I hope he decided to walk away. In my experience, jealousy is a devil on your shoulder. You never win when you follow it’s whispered suggestions.

    I agree about the line, “6’2 of stupid” that’s a great line!

    • The JackB May 6, 2011 at 7:28 pm

      @541707994c76d85a5131b05ba0772ae1:disqus Jealousy is most assuredly a devil on your shoulder. That sort of whispering is one that you never want to pay attention to as it will take you on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

  16. Sara May 6, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    This one leaves me wondering, but I must admit I hope he decided to walk away. In my experience, jealousy is a devil on your shoulder. You never win when you follow it’s whispered suggestions.

    I agree about the line, “6’2 of stupid” that’s a great line!

    • The JackB May 7, 2011 at 3:28 am

      @541707994c76d85a5131b05ba0772ae1:disqus Jealousy is most assuredly a devil on your shoulder. That sort of whispering is one that you never want to pay attention to as it will take you on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

  17. The Reason You Come May 6, 2011 at 6:36 am

    Damn, a cliffhanger? I want to know if he walked away.

  18. The Reason You Come May 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    Damn, a cliffhanger? I want to know if he walked away.

  19. Theresa May 6, 2011 at 6:15 am

    Ha, “6”2′ of stupid” best line ever. Nice job

  20. Anonymous May 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    Ha, “6”2′ of stupid” best line ever. Nice job

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  
Please enter an e-mail address

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

You may also like