The most frustrating part of blogging is not seeing less talented writers gain accolades and acclaim that they don’t deserve but the feeling I get when I feel like my writing is letting me down. That is not to say that my ego never gets bent because it does. I am human and sometimes it irritates me to see second rate hacks who can’t write get more than they deserve.
Most of the time I don’t pay much attention to it and I focus upon my work. Call me a bitter curmudgeon or a clever conniseur of conflict management but I don’t expect most of those other guys to stick around very long. Popularity contests aren’t a measure of talent or worth which is why I don’t worry about whether I am included on lists of the Top Dad Bloggers or not.
My focus is on my writing and my community and that is as it should be. If I create compelling content and build a comfortable community than everything else will take care of itself. That is my theory and I am sticking to it.
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I have come to understand that I was born restless and with a bad case of feeling like I am on the outside looking in. I am a seeker and a dreamer- an explorer who has a knack for pushing the envelope and trying to turn over every rock for fear that I might have missed something. It took more than a few years for me to become comfortable with that and to accept that the fire in my belly could warm my heart as well as burn me.
Britt did a nice job of touching upon some of this in a post called There Is Nothing Wrong With You. It was solid and that is why she got to present it as a Community Keynote speaker at BlogHer this year.
The beauty and joy of life experience is that if you open your eyes you learn something about yourself and how the world works. If you open your eyes you learn to know your own worth and you don’t settle for something that doesn’t make you want to jump out of bed and dance with joy and reckless abandon.
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That is one of the lessons that I want to teach my kids. My life is in many ways exceptionally different from what I thought it would be and I couldn’t ever have predicted some of the twists and turns that it has taken. And even though there have been some terribly hard moments that have made me tear out my hear and gnash my teeth the majority has been beautiful.
I have had experiences that have opened my eyes to possibilities and opportunities that I never could have foreseen. And now I have dreams and ideas that I never did before.
I think about the people we miss and ask myself hard questions like Do You Live Your Dreams Or Dream Your Life because I believe that the journey is just as important as the destination. If I am to teach my children to not settle for less and to keep pushing than don’t I have to do it too. It is about a life worth living and the knowledge that I gave it all I had.
That is what this wanderlust and restlessness is about. It is about giving me the energy and impetus to keep pushing even when it would be easier to just accept things as they are. I don’t fault or blame people for doing that. If people are happy with the status quo of their lives than that is great, but it is not me. And it is in large part why even though I have those moments of feeling like I am on the outside looking in I tend not to care.
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My words aren’t flowing the way that I wish they would and some of that is because I keep getting interrupted by tasks and errands that require my immediate attention. But part of the importance of writing every day is so that when I send out the call they come to me upon command. Life doesn’t always work as we wish it would and nothing will change that. The mean girls will continue to make appearances and the kids will keep asking tough questions. But I am a Better Father Than You Are so I don’t worry about it.
I’ll continue to follow the Rules of Blogging and do the best I can to continue build connections and community because that is what is important to me. With a little bit of luck, some effort and a dash of hope things should turn out in a most agreeable fashion. What do you think?
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