It Is A Contradiction

I have very few regrets but those that I carry around are massive and I haven’t found a way to reconcile them…yet.

It is an interesting moment in time for me. Something big was about to happen. I had thought that I was on the verge of making a very large and very exciting change in my life, but at the last moment it fell apart.

There is a certain amount of relief intermixed with disappointment, frustration and confusion about this. This change of events surprised me and though I don’t list it as one of my big regrets I think it is part of the reason I am up at 1:3o and not sleeping.

Call it concern. Call it worry. Call it confidence.

Yes, it is a contradiction.

It is kind of funny to me to think about life and to say that I have become a bit of an agnostic about believing in intuition and things being meant to be. I always said that I made my decisions based upon logic but when I thought about it there was an awful lot that came to be because I based it upon my gut.

So maybe I have always been this guy who believed in intuition but was afraid to verbalize it

What I Know

What I know is that even though I am concerned and nervous about where things are at I also feel good. That is because I am doing the right things to make changes.I am not sitting on my ass just letting life pass me by. I am taking an active stance and working on things.

Some of my friends have said that I should take a deep breath and relax because good things are coming. I appreciate and understand where they are coming from but it is not easy to just accept that as advice. It is hard to just believe the universe will send me something because I ask.

So I balance it out by doing my best to have a good attitude and to work towards what I want.

Bad Writing

There have been some moments here where I have been guilty of bad blogging and bad writing. I won’t always point it out but I usually run the bad stuff as well as the good. That is because the only way to improve is to practice. When I look at the “bad material” it makes it easier for me to figure out what stinks and how I can/should improve it.

One of the goals is to become a better writer so it makes sense to me to follow this path.

Anyway, there is much more to say about this but it is far too late. Just in case I go into hibernation here are some links to try:

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  • http://www.writerightwords.com/ Erin F.

    @TheJackB That’s true. The words in the mouth of one person can be gold and in the mouth of another, poison. Here’s to slogging through the mud.

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @Erin F.  Looks like I am not the only one burning the midnight oil.

    • http://www.writerightwords.com/ Erin F.

       @TheJackB It wasn’t intentional. I’ve been trying to sleep for the past two hours but can’t. I might as well get up and do something useful. :)

  • http://www.newsuperaffiliateblog.com/ AdrienneSmith

    Aren’t the one that has always told us to just write and don’t worry about ti?  Well we all have our moments when we aren’t happy with what we’ve shared but what the heck, we hit publish anyway.  I say go with it and although you should’t worry about it you’re going to do that anyway Jack.
     
    We just all have those days I’m afraid so you’re definitely not alone.

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @AdrienneSmith You are absolutely right. I publish the majority of what I write. Can’t improve without practicing and I like the feedback. Sometimes the stuff we think is horrible is viewed quite favorably by our readers.
      Perspective is a funny thing.

  • http://soulati.com/blog Soulati

    You ARE such a contradiction, yet I also know you’re a survivor. #ThatIsAll

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing Yep, I am that Eye of The Tiger guy- Survivor is my middle name. It is in my blood. 
      I am a bit frustrated but nowhere close to giving up. What fun would that be.

  • seasidesmores

    Yeah, that was you not yo!

  • seasidesmores

    Disappointment is tough and as great as it is to have friends promising that you are on the cusp of something big, that doesn’t pay the bills, doest it? Take a moment to lick your wounds, but I too believe in your writing and ability to do big things with it. I hope it happens for yo sooner rather than later!

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @seasidesmores Thank you, I appreciate it. I figure this is just part of the journey, one more learning experience.
      The hard moments are just blog fodder. Things are moving.

  • http://billdorman.me/ bdorman264

    I wouldn’t say too bad; maybe only 2 out of 7 posts were not worthy last week……………doh……………..
     
    It’s hard to ‘relax’ when you have so much inside you and so much to do. However, sometimes the more you push the more frustrated you become. Sometimes it is good just to back up temporarily and take a deep breath and reevaluate your direction and efforts. 
     
    You’ll figure it out, stay the course. 
     
     

    • http://www.lifeforinstance.com/ Lori

       @bdorman264 Yes, “quitting” seems to be the theme this week! And it’s not as bad as we thought it was! Stay the course, but course correct when you have to, right Bill?

      • http://billdorman.me/ bdorman264

         @Lori I was going to reference your post……………

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @bdorman264 The joy of being the guy with the fire in the belly is that relaxation comes ever so easily. I kind of prefer pacing in my cage, it is familiar. ;)
       
      That deep breath is always useful, helps us restore our perspective.

  • JoeDeGiorgio

    We’re all guilty of hitting the publish button when we know what we’ve written isn’t up to par. I may not call it “bad writing” (esp. in your case), but when I don’t like something I’ve published, it’s usually because I was too hasty, and didn’t edit well enough. I’m doing better with that. Cutting out as many unnecessary words as I can…

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @JoeDeGiorgio Writing reminds me of every sport I have ever played. The only way to get better is to practice. My ego doesn’t like it when I strike out, but the practice makes all the difference.
       
      That is where you learn when necessary how to hit the bad pitch as well as the patience to let one or two go by.

  • http://weforgotyounot.wordpress.com/ CrossBetsy

    Hate when that happens! LOL! Patterns can be very annoying, even though they give you hope. 
    “Take a deep breath and relax”??? Sometimes…
    I look at it like I do a brick wall and always look for a way around it…after I go for a swim!

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @CrossBetsy I am the guy who looks for a hammer and or crowbar because I just know I can tear down the wall. ;)
       
      Things are happening, just very slowly.

  • http://www.writerightwords.com/ Erin F.

    It is hard to accept the “good things are coming” advice, so I won’t say it. I know you are working toward some big things. Some of those big things may not come to fruition. Some of them will be replaced with better and bigger things. I won’t tell you to be patient, either. That’s an equally hard pill to swallow. I choke on it every time.

    • http://www.thejackb.com/ TheJackB

       @Erin F. Advice is a funny thing, it is easier coming from some people than others. Overall I feel pretty good, a bit impatient but confident that things will turn out ok. The hard part is walking through the mud and wondering when it will come through.