Betrayed

Sunday morning hits and I wake up to the lovely sounds of my children fighting. A silent groan slips between my lips and I put a pillow over my head.

It is the sign of Sunday morning parenting, this desire to see them magically negotiate a truce between them. Further dismay comes from the ache I feel in my legs. They aren’t working the way I want them do.

Too much basketball. Been playing too hard for too many years and my body is betraying my will and desire. It is a bitter pill to swallow, this feeling that I just can’t make it work like it used to.

I make adjustments and play differently but it doesn’t matter. I can’t draw blood from a stone and I am sort of sad about it. My desire to compete is stronger than ever and I suppose my ego is there too. It hurts to let inferior players beat me, well they aren’t inferior now but they used to be.

There comes a revolution and this is how it goes.

Been listening to The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Springsteen this morning. Emotional Rescue, Kashmir, One Slip and Happy.

These songs make my heart sing and I feel like maybe there is a way I haven’t tried yet. Maybe there is something more in the tank and a way to turn back the clock. Always a way to make things work, always a way to get it done.

I just need to find it.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.

19 Comments

  1. Tim Bonner October 18, 2012 at 4:24 am

    Hey Jack

    My wife works 6 days a week now and sometimes 7, so when she’s around on a Sunday it’s family time. My kids tend to wake up between 5 and 6 am, so definitely no sleeping in for me!

    I haven’t played basketball since school but it’s certainly a great workout. I need to get back into doing something like that.

    I like the idea of Stream of Conciousness Sunday. I’m going to give that a whirl.

  2. Joe October 15, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Basketball seems to be that one sport that lets you know just how old you are. And quick.

    Nice post.

  3. Harleena Singh October 14, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Ah…Sunday mornings…one day that you can sleep a little late!

    But yes, even the weekends are not something that parents can have all to themselves. Being a Mom, my weekends get busy cooking what my kids want because the rest of the week I work – so there goes my day. I enjoy doing that, though wish there was a get-away time at least on one of the weekends.

    I guess you too need a break from basketball – may be a few days off. It happens when I walk too fast and do so everyday. My legs start aching after a few days…age catching up 🙂 It gets alright if I take 1-2 days gap and then start again.

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Jack October 14, 2012 at 7:47 pm

      Hi Harleena,

      What do you like to cook? Are there are any special dishes that your kids ask for?

      I have changed the amount of ball I play. Used to play 4-5 days a week and now I try to go 2-3. Hate giving up the extra time, but…

  4. Jamie October 14, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    It’s funny — but around here the Sunday morning groan comes from trying to get everyone out of the door to church on time. Today we sang a lot of the old time favorites because is was Homecoming Sunday. Amazing Grace, It is Well and Victory in Jesus. Those songs we never sing — rocked my soul. Mick may sing “You can always get what you want” but an oldtime gospel hymn may just be “what you need.”

    • Jack October 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Jamie,

      I don’t know if I am familiar with any old time gospel hymns, but that is probably because I play for the other team. But I can think of a few that are probably equivalent and how they might do the trick as well.

  5. Megan Broutian October 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    I think yours was my favorite SOC this week. Very eloquent, sad and feisty at the same time. Hope you find your way.

    • Jack October 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm

      Hi Megan,

      Welcome to the blog. I am a restless sort of soul, but I always find my way. Just trying to adjust to a few changes that have come along that surprised me.

      Hope you’ll continue to visit.

  6. Gina October 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    It’s a B$&CH getting older! When you find that “fountain”, let me know.

  7. Kenya G. Johnson October 14, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    I hope you find something that works for you. Otherwise I did enjoy your SOC 😉

    • Jack October 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm

      Hi Kenya,

      Eventually I’ll return to my ‘roots’ and start swimming competitively again. It is low impact so I am sure I’ll be able to take it on the way I want to, but I hope to have a few more years of playing ball.

      Too young to give that up.

      Where there is a will, there is a way or so I hope.

  8. a.eye October 14, 2012 at 10:31 am

    I have started taking some joint pills to help with the stiffness that I started feeling in my late 20s. I totally understand the feelings of superiority in athletics even when my body is no longer as superior as it used to be.

    Good luck!

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