The answer to the question in the headline is written in invisible ink, right next to how to be a perfect father, the answer to how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop and the answer to the classic blunder ‘never get involved in a land war in Asia.’
My daughter sent me a top secret note that says, “Dad, I love you, but I think we need to know everything about each other. So u write questions for me and I’ll write questions for u.”
What Questions Did She Ask?
Don’t bother asking because I am not going to tell you. It might be surprising to some of you, but I play my cards close to the vest and some things aren’t ever shared.
Truthfully it is not important what she asked to anyone but her family, but it caught my eye for a variety of reasons.
This dark haired beauty of mine is almost nine years old and far too sharp for her own good. I love that about her. I love her inquisitive nature and a million other things about her which is why I often ask myself what I can do to raise the perfect daughter because she deserves it.
She deserves a great dad and I am doing my best to be that for her, but sometimes it is frustrating because I feel like I fall short.
I Wonder About Parents Who Never Question Their Parenting Skills/Choices
I am a good father. I know that and I am willing to say I am better than most, but that doesn’t mean I never wonder if I am making mistakes. It would be foolish to not wonder about the choices and decisions I have made. It would be foolish not to ask if I could have done things better.
And it is foolish to spend too much time worrying about what has happened because it is done. I have made mistakes and I’ll make some more, but I’ll make good decisions too and that is just how life goes.
But life goes in a million different directions and some of the things my girl is going to have to deal with will happen no matter what I do.
Women and girls make me crazy sometimes because y’all (I am in Texas) do a mighty good job of beating each other up. I know a million different stories about mean girls, mean moms and mean women from all of the women in my life.
So I wonder about what I can do to help my daughter navigate this kind of crap safely.
Be A Kid
I work hard to help her be a kid. I don’t go crazy about princesses and I don’t care if she likes to play princess or watch those Disney movies. Maybe if that was her sole aspiration I would feel differently.
I talk with her about life. I listen and I remind her that her value is tied up in things that have nothing to do with looks, but society is sending other messages. Girls are and their big sisters are sending other messages.
Women in the mall tell her how pretty her hair is and how cute her shoes/dress is.
Is that wrong/bad?
Nah, I doubt it, but I wonder and worry a bit about things.
She loves to play soccer and I am grateful. Sports will help build her confidence and activity will help her in a million other ways.
But it is hard sometimes.
Daughters Are Different
Daughters are different from sons, not better or worse, just different.
I know what it means to be a boy because I was one. Some might even say I still am.
But girls, well you guys just look at the world a bit differently and though I might say it is screwy and twisted I love you all anyway.
And my daughter, well, that is a different sort of love. A father’s love where I just try to figure out what I can do to help her live the kind of life she wants to live while making sure she learns to be responsible and accountable.
I Don’t Have The Answer
I don’t have the answer, but I am working on it. Call me goofy, but I keep hearing Superchicken saying “you know the job was dangerous when you took it.”
Well, that is true but it is a lot of fun too.
What do you think?