The Sound of Music Sucks

As usual The Shmata Queen’s questionable taste has led to a disagreement about the value of The Sound of Music in the modern world. In short I think that if film could be used in a similar fashion to newspaper there would be great value in wrapping fish in The Sound of Music or constructing hats out of said material.

Certainly it would make a great liner for a bird cage or do quite well as a tool to help housebreak a dog. Zookeepers would find it to be useful in cleaning up after the rhinos, hippos and elephants and mechanics would be pleased to wipe the grease off of their hands onto their Sound of Music film paper.

Sadly there is no such way to use it and the world is a lesser place. It is Mary Poppins without the pop and I would be happy to have seen the Von Trapps get trapped in a small room without windows than to have been forced to listen to such warbling and yodeling.

Blame this distaste for the movie upon my three younger sisters who used this movie the way some people require kleenex or toilet paper. Feh, phooey and blech to this drek.

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11 Comments

  1. Tim Winters December 13, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    I am happy to speak my mind while stuck in a theater having to witness the horror of the s of m. It’s so horrible that I can’t even pronounce it’s name. Like voldemort in harry potter… The s of m… I am a peaceful person though. I always think how everything in our world is created to serve a purpouse. And I accept both the good and the bad in life day by day. But here I sit in this theater. And I just can’t express in words how much I hate, hate, hate,… pointless to try and express it. I just read an article that stated the s of m… Well I just was told to put my phone away because they thought I would actually record this shit show so I glady walked out the theater and get to enjoy music once more without that stupid bullshit. Thank you for letting me speak my mind :-)!

  2. LiquiDiamonds September 20, 2005 at 10:26 pm

    Thanks, Jack now I can add Shmata to the other cool word I learned “Kvetch”…not only does it sound cool, but I do it so well sometimes!!!! the kvetch thing, I mean…no the shmata thing

  3. Jack's Shack September 20, 2005 at 4:06 am

    Shmata: (shmah-tah) a rag, either literally or in reference to clothing. The garment industry is known as the “shmata business.” “

  4. LiquiDiamonds September 20, 2005 at 2:21 am

    seriously, thouhg. I don’t speak yiddish…what is a schmata???

  5. LiquiDiamonds September 19, 2005 at 11:59 pm

    THE HILLLLLLLLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MYOOZICC!!!!!!!

  6. Ezzie September 19, 2005 at 9:24 pm

    I’m trying to figure out if I saw it… is that the one with the singing kids?

  7. Jack's Shack September 19, 2005 at 7:57 pm

    Ezzie,

    You haven’t missed anything.

    Sarah,

    I’ll have to search for that review.

  8. Sarah September 19, 2005 at 7:55 pm

    On February 14, 2000, Anthony Lane published a HYSTERICAL review of “Singalong-a-Sound-of-Music,” the version with the subtitles and invitation to audience members to show up in costume and, well, sing along. It was a cult hit for about 10 minutes. Anyway, you must read the review. It’s called “The Maria Problem.” Unfortunately I cannot find a copy online, despite my best Googling efforts.

    The essay (it’s a review/history of the film/article about the costumes) includes what I think is one of the best lines in any movie critique ever:

    ” . . . both Walter Matthau and Sean (Edelweish) Connery were considered for the role of the captain. A more damning fact is that some of the Osmond boys turned up to audition, thus demonstrating that, however much ‘The Sound of Music’ makes your flesh crawl, it could have been so much worse.”

  9. Ezzie September 19, 2005 at 7:16 pm

    Ummm…. what was the Sound of Music about? (Hey, I’m only 22…!)

  10. Jack's Shack September 19, 2005 at 7:04 pm

    That is as foolish a comment as you have ever made. I have seen bits and pieces and been subjected to this piece of garbage so often I could probably vomit out the lines.

    You know some people like to say that Mussolini made the trains run on time too.

  11. Stacey September 19, 2005 at 6:54 pm

    You have NEVER SEEN the movie. You have not even watched 5 minutes of it.

    It is unanimous (if you read the responses on my own blog) that you are completely misguided about this.

    This movie will always be in my top 5.

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