What is it about cordless phones and their lack of durability. It seems to me that every three years I am forced to go out and replace whatever phones I have. I have taken an informal poll among friends, family and the staff of the Cleveland Monkey house and they all agree, these phones suck.
In case you are wondering suck is the techincal word. You can find it defined in the August 1997 issue of Telephony as standard umbrella crap kisser which was first coined by a Ma Bell telphone operator in 1978. For more about that try googling The Shmata Queen Loves Monkeys and I am sure that you will appreciate what you find.
So here I am with a couple of cordless phones that do not seem to work. I say that they do not seem to work because every so often they seem to behave as if a dybbuk has taken control of them. If not that then the poltergeist that lives in this home has decided that it is fun to screw with me by playing with these phones.
Later this week I will head on out to the store and grab a new set. I haven’t decided on the brand because I have had bad luck with most brands, Uniden, Panasonic, Vtech, blah, blah, blah, they all suck.
If Dubya really wants to disrupt terror he need only supply the terrorists with these phones and more often then not they will find themselves screaming in frustration because the fercockteh phones just don’t work the way that they should.
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