Five Years Ago

On December 29, 2000 my life was changed forever because it was on that day that I became a father for the first time.

In what could only be deemed foreshadowing the little man showed up 2.5 weeks prior to his due date. His grandmother insists that I was born almost four weeks after my due date so maybe there is something to be said for his taking after me, we do things in our time.

Initially I hadn’t planned on blogging about this, not because it was unimportant but because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to say so I was going to opt out of saying anything and write about other things. Sometimes I find myself speechless and I learned a long time ago that in those moments sometimes the better part of valor is silence.

About 25 minutes ago he wandered out of bed and climbed into my lap. “Tomorrow is my birthday,” he said. I smiled and picked him up in my arms. For a moment we danced around to Matisyahu (King Without a Crown- I love that tune) and enjoyed the moment. I told him that I loved him and told him about how when he was a baby I would take him in my arms and dance to whatever was playing.

He smiled and asked me if I would still do that when he was five. I said sure and then he wanted to know if I could do it when he was ten. I told him that I wasn’t sure he would want me to do it then but we had time to worry about it. He smiled and told me that I should plan on it.

I carried him to bed and gave him another hug and a kiss. With great care I lowered him into bed and gave him one last blessing as a four-year-old. He was almost asleep before I could finish. I was happy that it was dark because I unexpectedly got a little choked up in there.

My baby boy is not a baby anymore. He is not a toddler, he is a little boy. We have a long way to go before he becomes a man and goes out into the world but for a moment I could have sworn that he looked more like a man than a boy.

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