What To Do When Your Butt Surrenders

This is the follow up to a prior post in which I linked to a story I told several months ago.

Excuse me, There is Toilet Paper Stuck To Your Tuchus

For those of you who don’t want to listen to the clip here is the short version. It was a Tuesday evening and I had just finished playing basketball and as is my custom I went to the steam room to shvitz for a bit.

After a short while I got up and showered and this is where it gets interesting. As I was walking back to my locker to change into my clothes I had an incident. There was a naked man about ten feet in front of me. Now there is nothing unusual in that, it is a locker room.

The problem was that there was a piece of toilet paper waving behind him. I tried not to stare. I tried not to notice, but it was like a trainwreck and I just couldn’t look away. It wasn’t long enough to be the tail of a kite, but it was enough that I wondered how it was that he was unaware of it.

And then on top of this the juvenile in me started to come up with all sorts of crazy comments. I wanted to go up to him and asked if his butt was French, because it was waving the white flag. There were a host of other thoughts as well, but I’ll save those for now.

As it happened he turned around and saw me. With a warm smile he said hello and it was all I could do to try and stay composed. I wanted to say something, but the question was what. I really didn’t want to embarrass him.

Anyway, that is the short version of the story and with that I bid you good night.

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  1. Jack's Shack June 8, 2006 at 2:46 am


    You might be right.


    It wasn’t easy.

  2. Bonnie B June 7, 2006 at 12:34 pm

    I’m glad I wasn’t there because I would have burst out laughing– poor guy. How humiliating it must have been when he finally realized he had paper stuck to is butt!
    Very funny post. I think I’ll feast all day on this story.

  3. Chana June 7, 2006 at 7:38 am

    I bet if you emailed that story to Kathy Griffin, she’d use it in her act. (evil grin)

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