Over at Rabbi Without A Cause there is a post called Musings on Moshe Rabbeinuâ€™s Yahrtzeit. Here is my profound and insightful comment, it was interesting. No really, I mean that sincerely. I very much enjoyed it.
Moshe Rabbeinu is quite the character. From time to time I have wondered just how much of a character he was. It is hard not to be skeptical. It is hard not to wonder about the validity of the stories. Sure there are times when it is easy for me to just accept, to go on faith. Ultimately I believe in God. I am Jewish because I choose to be Jewish, not just because I was born a Jew.
But I know a little something about people. Sometimes we see things that aren’t really there. Sometimes we see things that we want to see. About once a month I read about people going to visit some odd or obscure object that supposedly looks like the Virgin Mary. That is a whole topic in itself.
I remember one moment I had at the Kotel. I was pressed up against it, literally face to the wall, body trying to become one with the stone. I was trying so very hard to get to a spiritual place that I find so very hard to hit. It was a very personal moment, incredibly hard. What I said, what I wanted doesn’t matter. What matters is that I felt like I was part of two worlds. One was a rational place in which my wants and desires were not tied into any sort of higher power. The second was something different. I don’t quite know how to describe it other than I truly felt like I was in the presence of something greater than myself.
Davening is hard for me. It often feels like a chore. Someone once tried to tell me that it is because I am not open to God. Personally I think that it is bullshit. I can’t buy into it. My davening is a mix of Hebrew, English and some sort of silent meditation. It is a melange that makes sense to me. I figure that an omniscient/omnipotent being can make sense of it all.
Don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else at all. I just know that I go with my gut. It makes the most sense. Some of my greatest experiences have come from loud, raucous and spirited moments in various minyanim. I smile when I think of Shabbos Mincha in BKR.
Back to my comment about the post at RWAC. The Moshe he describes is interesting because he is a contradiction. I like that. It seems far more real to me. He is not a saint who does no wrong. His temper gets him in trouble. Even he who had direct contact questions God. It just makes him more real to me.
More on this at a later time. Now for a sampling of keywords that led some people to my blog.
alligator vs bullfrog sounds
when i was 17 i was very young man song lyrics
how do you make a hard boiled egg ask your mom
we are all made of stars song meaning
numbers that have meaning
morality and religion, socrates
frum sex and spanking
love my besheret
johnny and june forever in love
origin of gnomes
Here is a list of some of the songs I listened to this evening.
Kicking Bird’s Gift
John Barry- Dancing With Wolves
King Without A Crown
Part Man, Part Monkey
Raise Your Hand
I Feel Free
Derek and The Dominoes
What Is and What Should Not Be
Friends In Low Places
I Can’t Quit You Baby
I’m The Grumpy Old Troll
Dora The Explorer
And now for one more comment. How many times can Rulon Gardner cheat death. Oy vey.