I used to do these long introspective posts much more frequently. Back in the good old days when the blog was safe. A refuge that felt like a secret hideaway. Br’er Rabbit’s laughing place. In those days the blog was so very bright and shiny. It felt so much more comfortable to tear down the walls and just let the river flow.
That changed. It changed. It changed. It changed. I can’t place my finger on one exact reason. There is nothing in here that I cannot discuss with anyone. But that doesn’t mean that I want to.
Last week I had the privilege of attending the Ariel Avrech Memorial Lecture 2007. It gave me an opportunity to meet a number of bloggers. It was a new experience for me as I have intentionally maintained my distance but I am quite glad that I went. It was nice speaking with them and I was pleased to see that we had more to talk about than just blogging.
As Judith of Kesher Talk mentioned blogging can provide unexpected intimacy with others. If you consider your relationships usually you work up to feeling comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts with others. Bloggers just skip this and let loose.
I am not surprised by any of this. In spite of the picture I painted I wasn’t unaware that others were reading my thoughts. But for whatever reason it just didn’t bother me. Lately that is not the case. I find myself being far more reserved than I used to be.
Can’t say if this will continue or go away. We’ll just have to see what happens. For now I seem to have lost my voice.