The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for July 2007

New & Improved Toilet- Fish ‘n Flush

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In a never ending quest for new and improved toilet The Shack is happy to present you with the Fish ‘n Flush aquarium toilet.

“Both fresh water and salt water can be added to our 2.2-gallon aquariums, but live coral should not be used. Fish ‘n Flush provides a dual-filter system, making it safe for children. It also provides two nine-inch plastic plants, a fill valve, and a complete flushing system. All you need are water, fish and food.

These acrylic tanks are fully functional, impact resistant and stronger than china. They are completely separate from the toilet tank and are designed to fit directly against the companion tank reservoir.’

Why I Am Not Getting Much Done

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Several weeks ago I wrote about the challenge of working out of a home office. Today the challenge is even greater than normal because of a favor. A friend had to drop her children off so that she could attend to some business.

The influx of children has raised the terror alert to its highest level. In fact I would argue that I have already survived numerous terror attacks. Let’s use the shrieking as an example.

Why dear lord must little girls shriek. My ears are ringing and the neighborhood dogs and I are considering the benefits of heading for the hills. The incessant shrieking has shattered three plate glass windows and caused every car alarm within a three mile radius to go off.

But the boys are not about to be outdone by the girls. Oh no, they wouldn’t consider the advantages of building a clubhouse outside. Instead they have constructed a racetrack inside the house. Since they are too big for a simple oval track they have made sure that it runs around the entire house, including the little corner I call my office.

In between the races they have decided to engage in simple imaginary play. It is kind of nice to see them use their imaginations and not rely upon things that beep, whistle or tweet. They’re pretending to be superheroes and supervillains.

Apparently I am supposed to be one of them too. I am some kind of giant. I don’t know if I am good or bad, just that I am included. Did I mention that this involves being attacked with various objects and body parts.

Fake rays have blasted me. Pillows that are supposed to be some sort of device or something have been used to assault my person. And as mentioned body parts have been used. It seems that I have been struck by kryptonite hands, radioactive feet and a host of other items.

It also seems that telling the boys that I don’t want to play and that I am angry enough to spit blood is not a deterrent. Instead it is viewed as encouragement to continue.

Of course my clients may not accept any of this as a reason for why I want an extension. Perhaps a better excuse such as my dog ate my homework would suffice.

Excuse me, I was just attacked by the Joker and Batman. I think that Giant Man is going to respond. Back later.

Obsessed With the Blogroll

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I have a habit of recycling posts. This one just seemed appropriate.

If you have been blogging for any length of time you probably have received an email from another blogger asking for you to blogroll them. Sometimes they phrase it differently and offer you a reciprocal link exchange.

Either way the question is still the same, “will you blogroll me?” They want a link on your site that can be used by your readers to find their blog.

I am a bit of a prickly and at times moody fellow so these requests haven’t always fallen upon receptive ears. Sometimes I have just done it and sometimes I don’t even bother to consider it. You may recall that in the past I asked the denizens of cyberspace to tell me how many blogs you read.

It was a serious question that I asked because I have noticed that many bloggers have blogrolled an exceptional number of blogs and it occurred to me that it would be tough for them to read them all. So I spent a few moments pondering this and considering whether I thought that it made sense to have that many blogs on a blogroll.

Part of me thought that it was similar to having more than a few pairs of shoes. You couldn’t possibly use/read that many consistently so after a while it seemed a bit like excess and overkill. I even read a few explanations in which the blogger suggested that the more links they offered the more that they would receive. I remember snootily thinking to myself that I would never let my ego get in the way like that blogger had.

Well, I was wrong. My ego did get involved and I began to get more involved with this than I had intended. I started paying a lot of attention to Technorati and to my stat counter. In fact I paid enough that I noticed that after a period of time some bloggers had unblogrolled me. I admit to being a little miffed by it.

I wondered what had happened. Why the hell did they keep that really stupid and boring blog. They could have dumped him and kept me. I was bent about it. And then there were the occasional blog altercations in which another blogger and I disagreed so vehemently that we had to unblogroll each other. Nice to see that you never outgrow junior high.

Anyway, after a time I grew more settled into my blogging routine and began to see things differently. I am a voracious reader. I have around seven bookcases that are jammed full of books and probably 12 boxes of books in my garage. One day while I was looking for a new book to read it occurred to me that in some respects keeping a long list of blogs on the blogroll wasn’t all that different from what I did at home.

It wasn’t profound, but it made perfect sense to me. The other thing I learned about the blogosphere is that it is littered with space junk. There are tons of abandoned blogs. People start them and just leave them up, hanging there, leaving you to wonder if they intend to return or not. Some of my favorites no longer exist.

And then there is the other issue. You run into blog boredom. Some blogs just stop holding your attention. I am sure that there are people reading my blog now who are ready to move onto something new. It happens. It is hard to keep your muse employed full time. They expect benefits and a pension and you are often lucky if you can offer them a simple IRA or 401k.

Apparently my own muse just quit on me. You’ll excuse me for a moment as I need to go chase them down and beg their forgiveness.

Things I Have Never Done

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Here is a list that I plan on developing 0ver time. Here is a short list of things/places I have never done/seen:

  1. I have never seen snowfall.
  2. I have never driven in the snow.
  3. I have never been to Japan.
  4. I have never been skydiving.

As mentioned above this list will grow over time as I add to it.

Tisha B’Av- Redemption

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We humans are a superstitious lot. If you think about it you can probably come up with a list of ten superstitions that are relatively well known. And if you really concentrate you can probably come up with a list of personal superstitions. I know that I have my own and in spite of what others may claim it has nothing to do with OCD.

Some of my fellow MOTs find the three weeks to be terribly distressing. They expect and anticipate that bad things will happen to them during this time. I can think of more than one conversation in which someone explained the real reason behind the car breaking down or a summer cold.

It all culminates on Tisha B’Av. On Tisha B’Av we see the end of this cycle and the beginning of a new one. In my mind I always like to think of redemption as being the second and in some ways more important part of the day.

I can attribute this attitude to how we observed Tisha B’Av at camp. The evening was always somber. We’d gather on the tennis court and listen to the chanting of Eicha. Under a star filled sky I’d try to imagine what had happened with varying degrees of success. It is not hard to remember heading back to my tent with a myriad of thoughts running through my mind.

In the morning we’d wake up knowing that although it would be somewhere between 90 and 100 degrees outside there wouldn’t be any food or drink. It was a fast day that often moved slowly. Sometimes it was tough to be living in a place that was designed for so much fun on a day that was supposed to be so somber. But that was only for part of the day because in the afternoon we’d start to think about redemption.

And redemption is something that I find quite interesting. I am not speaking of the days in which moshiach comes. The truth is that I have kind of mixed emotions about that. It is a hard concept to wrap my brain around. It is hard for me to imagine that time and what life will be like. It is not that I can’t do it, but sometimes it is just hard to let go of the concrete realities of the life I have now and picture that particular future.

So when I think about redemption I think of it as a time of growth. I picture it as being a time in which things can and often do get better. Life improves because we make it improve. For me it is a particularly salient point because lately life has been very tough. So now I am doing whatever I can to make that happen. And the thing is that I do feel like a weight is lifting off of my shoulders.

Perhaps that is just my own superstition or perhaps there is something more. All I know is that perception is often a major part of the battle and my own perception is that a positive change in the air. Redemption is here.