In part one of our two part series we learned that the eldest son of our favorite Shack Master had been paying far too much attention to the vocabulary lessons being given by the older brother of one of his friends.
I had a conversation with both John’s older brother and his father regarding these lessons. Initially John’s father didn’t think this was a problem. Because I am a master of tact and diplomacy I told him that I would gladly use pictures of his wife to educate the children on what the expression meant.
Apparently this got his attention because he got all red in the face and then directed a few choice words at me. I in turn suggested that he engage in something that is anatomically impossible for everyone except the woman in this video. In fact I even offered to fix his body so that he could do this whenever he wanted to.
After a moment we got beyond the usual posturing we men do and we came to an agreement that it was better for first graders not to use this sort of language and that prevention of their learning it was wise.
That brings me to the point where I left off the last post, the question of how much information my son really needed. When we got home he asked me again to explain it to him. So I shrugged my shoulders and decided to improvise.
I asked him to break the sentence down with me. The first part was easy, it was when he got to “dick” that he looked perplexed. I took a deep breath and explained to him that there is a time and place for language and that what I was teaching him was not to be used carelessly.
“A dick is a penis,” I said.
His eyes got wide for a moment. “I get it dad,” he replied. “When you say “suck my dick” it means you want to pee in their mouth. That is kind of gross.”
I kept a straight face and waited to see if he had any more questions or comments. For a brief moment I thought that the whole baby discussion was going to make another appearance but fate smiled upon me and he changed the topic to whether I liked Batman more than Superman.
For the moment Kryptonite and the Joker have replaced the evening vocabulary lesson, but something tells me that this topic is going to be revisited in the not so distant future.