Why Can’t You Park In Your Space

This post started out with this silly little blurb about a plague having descended upon the city. It wasn’t a bad hook, except I didn’t want people to get confused and think that I was talking about Cleveland, Dallas or Buffalo. So I decided to take a different tack.

Here is the deal. Over the past decade or so I have noticed that more drivers have decided that parking between the lines is optional. They park crookedly or right on top of the line. In fact I have even heard from a few that they do this intentionally.

Sometimes their excuse is a lack of time to park correctly or a fear of getting dings in their door from cars that park too closely. The problem with this flawed logic is that it forces others to park virtually on top of them.

This creates a situation in which I really miss my old Dodge Dart. It was a 1969 Dodge Dart Swinger with a Slant 6 225 H.P. engine in it. No power steering, no power brakes, and no air conditioning. Just an engine surrounded by a hunk of steel.

By the time it came into my possession it had a variety of dents decorating its exterior. And that is why it was perfect for parking lots. I didn’t care if it received any more dings, they just lent it more character. And I didn’t worry about people trying to force their SUVs into a space made for compacts.

Ok, I am back now. Dear reader, you wouldn’t know that I just spent the past three minutes staring off into space lost in daydreams about the days in my Dart.

Anyway, the real impetus for this post was the jackass who parked his Range Rover so that it took up two spaces. I know that he/she parked this way intentionally because they didn’t want anyone to come close to their overpriced rig.

But they didn’t count on my trusty steel-clad steed and me. I found a way to fit my car in the space. It was tight, but it was within the lines. If they decide to leave before I do they are going to have a small problem getting into the driver’s side of the car.

In fact, they can’t. Unless they’re paper-thin they are going to have to enter through the passenger side door. They parked next to a post so there is no chance of their getting blocked on that side.

I don’t expect my actions to change their behavior. I didn’t do it to teach them a lesson. I did it because I was short on time and the lot was full. It is a bit of a risky move because someone who is so selfish as to take up two spaces might not hesitate to “key” my car, but I’ll take my chances.

The current transport isn’t as much fun as the Dart or as old, but it is not brand spanking new either. It has a few blemishes. I just hope that it doesn’t gain any more.

I’ll let you know what happens.

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  1. Jack February 8, 2008 at 7:21 am


    Something tells me that you don’t take any guff.


    Shaving cream does wonders, or so I have heard. 😉

    Wry Mouth,

    I have been guilty of similar behavior. BTW, love the picture of Bigfoot.

  2. Wry Mouth February 8, 2008 at 7:02 am

    er — “spread” maneuver. Just for clarity’s sake.


  3. Wry Mouth February 8, 2008 at 7:01 am

    Once, at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, a person did the “spead” maneuver, but I needed to park there, there were so few spaces. I let the family out of the VAN and then maneuvered into the space so tightly that I had to crawl out the back liftgate to get out of the car.

    It was embarrassingly satisfying, and even more so when we returned many hours later, after a fun day, to find a note on the windshield expressing displeasure at my choice of parking spaces.

    I’m not proud, in the long run, of my childishness, but I can tell you that that was one of the best parking jobs I’ve ever done, and I have a long line of good ones to choose from.


  4. The Babka Nosher February 7, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    My synagogue has a small parking lot… and on a weekday morning, it is filled with minivans and extra large SUVs driven by tiny women who can’t manage to get their elephants in between the lines. I am always tempted to bring a can of shaving cream to leave them a message about learning how to park.

  5. ~~Silk February 7, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Back in the late 60s a co-worker and I both drove VW Karmann Ghia convertibles. And there was a guy who always “saved us spaces” close to the building entrance, by parking directly over the line. She and I simply parked on either side of him. We could get in and out without opening our doors. He had to wait until we left at the end of the day. Eventually he learned to park at the far end of the lot.

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