I hit the gym a couple of times this week. Normally a couple of hours of basketball and some time in the steam room serve as the perfect cure to stress, but this time I wasn’t so lucky. This week they just didn’t quite do it.
For some reason the basketball games were less than satisfying. Maybe it is because I spent too much time playing with guys who weren’t just better than me, they were substantially better. The ego told me that I could keep up with them. The ego said that if I played smart and worked harder I could find a way to make it work.
But unless you are exceptionally skilled basketball is a team sport and I couldn’t carry the team by myself. It was frustrating. I don’t back down from challenges. I may choose to walk away because it is smarter, but I don’t back down.
Ego can be an effective tool. You just have to know how to channel it. Perhaps I made a mistake this time. It won’t be the first or the last time I do that.
I probably should have chosen different guys to play with. I try to play with better players because they can help you to improve your game, they can push you. The trick is to make sure that the level of competition is not so far superior that you can’t compete. That was my mistake, made like Icarus and flew too close to the sun.
So here I am at the tail end of the week and I still have an overwhelming amount of work. It makes me want to scream. It makes me want cry. It makes me want to laugh. Perhaps it makes me want to all three. I don’t really know.
Here is what I do know. I am standing on the edge of this incredible canyon. I can choose to look down and panic because of the height or I can choose to try and find a way to blaze a trail down to the bottom, walk through it and then find a way back up.
It is going to be a long couple of months.