Notes From The Past Week of My Life
I am beyond tired so this is going to be a short synopsis of the past week or so.
Here at The Shack we sent Mom and Dad Benimble off on a two month journey to the East Coast, Amsterdam and da Holy Land.
Somehow they forgot to pack the webcam so the prodigal son ran to their home and arranged for FedEx to ship it to their secret East Coast hideout.
Freaky FedEx forgot to stick it on a plane. Old Jack used his candlestick to light a fire beneath their butts to locate and ship package. FedEx promised a full refund. Little shipping store in strip mall is run by people who speak limited English and therefore had a terrible time understanding my request and FedEx’s confirmation of the refund.
It took a good 45 minutes, but I received my refund. They refused to give me cash and sent me out with a check.
There is nothing like being in the middle of a multiple car pileup on a freeway. It adds so much to your life.
This can only be enhanced by news that your great-aunt has died accompanied by news that your grandmother is in the hospital. Did I mention that being advised of this news while watching Shamu’s show is great fun.
More fun and excitement is generated when you continually receive The Phone Sex Surprise. One of these days this moron is going to learn how to dial the phone. There is an upside as the moron has promised to take me on a nice trip. The downside is that he intends to do some very nasty things to my body. Well, I suppose rough love is better than no love at all.
More on all this later. For now I’ll leave you with this and some links to some old posts you might want to read again, or for the first time.