Some Stories are Hard To Relate To
This one just kind of threw me. It was hard not to roll my eyes, shake my head and ask if this is for real. Let me share some excerpts.
“And we wonder why men are afraid to commit, when women like me are depicted as hormonally charged sperm-bandits interested in nothing beyond the urge to have a child.”
Bitter, bitter, bitter. Attitude impacts everything doesn’t it.
I don’t know of any woman my age (35) who hasn’t spent several years in love with a boyfriend, only to have to give up on the relationship after realising that children and commitment were not going to happen for ages, if at all.
Sorry, sounds to me like you and your friends have questionable judgment in people.
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Miriam L February 20, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Maybe I should say “vintage” instead of mature. As in vintage wine.
Jack February 20, 2008 at 6:35 am
Gila,
If I can get them out of LA they’re all yours.
Miriam,
A nice mature age. I think that for me that will be around 198.
Miriam L February 19, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I had what is — I guess — an unusual dating history: The men I dated often wanted to marry me and settle down when I wasn’t ready. I waited until I found the right one, and then became a step-mom to his kids, which is fine.
(Maybe with the 6 billion plus people in the world, it’s OK for some of us women to not have children.)
I got married at age 43, and was single between ages 30 and 43, so I had a good bit of dating experience in that decade. Wasn’t lonely. Had some fun. Settled down at a nice, mature age.
Gila February 19, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Assuming that these men that you know who want women in their 30’s are also in their 30’s or mid-40’s, how about sendin’ them my way? 🙂
Jack February 19, 2008 at 8:40 am
Gila,
It is not about trying to say which side has it harder or why. I am really not looking to poke a stick in the eye of anyone. Ok, that is not true I poke sticks at a lot of people, but in this case I am doing at one person.
The writer’s comments are ridiculous and over the top. I can’t decide if that is intentional or not.
My single male friends have complaints that are not all that different from women. They’re looking for the same thing, companion,a lover, a best friend.
The thing that I always tell them to remember is that everyone has their foibles. It doesn’t matter what age you are, there is going to be something.
If anything the biggest problem I see are unrealistic expectations and that includes the married couples as well as the singles.
I can’t say that I know you all that well, but you don’t come across as being bitter and incapable of assuming accountability for your actions.
And that is just how this woman came across to me. Again, it is not an indictment of all single people, just my interpretation of what I read.
FWIW, I know a bunch of men who prefer women in their thirties because they want someone who already knows who they are and what they want out of life.
Gila February 19, 2008 at 6:26 am
Jack,
You will hear the same stuff in J’lem, in Tel Aviv, in New York, in Washington DC etc.
It really is tough out there and single women really are demonized, to a certain extent. We are damned if we do, damned if we don’t. Stay with the guy who will not commit-you are being stupid. Leave the guy because he will not commit–you are being unreasonable/ hysterical/ picky/ demanding/ etc. And as for the age thing–forget it. At this point, most guys my age will reject me out of hand because I am “too old”.
I see so many people who ask G-d for a spouse and kids…and get it. They don’t have to wait until they are nearly 40. They don’t have suffer years of being alone and all that this entails. In short–here at least–G-d makes it easy for them. Want a spouse and kids? B’vakasha–here you go! And instead of showing some appreciation for how good they have it and blessed they are, they mock and pass judgement on those of us whom, at best, G-d has given a tougher road to and at worst, G-d has forgotten entirely.
If G-d were to will it, you would be single tommorow. Remember that, please, the next time you want to blame singles for their state.
I normally really like your approach, but here…man…if that is how you judge her…wow, than that is how you judge me.