Here are five reasons why I should have stayed in bed today:
1) I slipped on a grease spot and went flying into a car. Left a nice sore spot on my side.
2) I stepped in gum.
3) Had lunch with my friend E. and received a parking ticket. Got there 1 minute after the meter expired.
4) My daughter threw a ball at me when I wasn’t looking and it hit me in the crotch.
Now I know that everyone has days like this and that sometimes shit happens, but this type of crap is supposed to be limited to bad sitcoms. And now if you’ll excuse me I am off to go scream at the sky.