As I bang out the pieces to the latest editions of Fragments of Fiction I have made a habit of sharing some of my notes with you. Not sure if anyone besides myself appreciates it, but I think that at some point in time it might be of interest.
June sat down and brushed her long dark hair and tried to relax. She lived a very busy life and had precious few moments to herself. Alone in front of the mirror she wondered how life had come to be like this. She prided herself on her practicality and had always considered herself to be someone who could bloom wherever she was planted.
It just hadn’t ever occurred to her that one day she’d find herself in this particular situation. Decisive and goal oriented she had relied upon her old standard, research, research, research, make a list and then execute the plan.
This time she found that she couldn’t rely upon her old standbys. Relationships don’t always lend themselves to a plan and emotions make it hard to make decisions. She found that irritating and a bit endearing. Johnny had always had a way of upsetting her world.
It was part of what she loved about him and part of what drove her crazy. He was very good at figuring out what to do and what to say. Sometimes that had served him well and sometimes it made his life more difficult as she had come to be more disappointed when he did the wrong thing.
She just expected more of him. She loved that it felt like he could read her mind, or at least she had.
Lately she had felt disconnected and out of sorts. It was disconcerting and upsetting. She wanted to let him in and to feel close, but she just couldn’t make herself do it. At times she found herself doing things to push him away. Again, she didn’t mean to.
It made her frustrated and angry that he wouldn’t just leave. She was confused to begin with and it confused her more that he didn’t respond as she expected. But Johnny never did exactly what she thought.
She pushed and he pulled. She yelled and he spoke softly, most of the time. Sometimes he pushed back.
More and more often she found herself worried that she was a disappointment and that one day he would just disappear. He told her frequently not to worry and said that he would be there.
Johnny figured that June’s malaise was just one of those things and that given time she’d work through it.
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