"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx
Here is a video that I found interesting. Here is the write-up about it:
Why do we crave love so much, even to the point that we would die for it? To learn more about our very real, very physical need for romantic love, Helen Fisher and her research team took MRIs of people in love — and people who had just been dumped.
To clarify, I am not a rabbi. Some of my friends call me rabbi and some call me a lot worse. 😉 But it is true that at times I have considered becoming one. One doesn’t have to have a pulpit to become a rabbi, but that is neither here nor there.
I suppose that I should provide some background for what prompted this post. I have many friends/relatives who are rabbis and have watched and or spoken with them about their experiences.
Not one of them has ever tried to dissuade me from joining the rabbinate. Come to think of it, they haven’t really tried to encourage me to enlist either.
Anyway, there are a few primary issues that keep me from seriously considering this as a profession.
1) Politics, or should I say shul politics.
I hate playing the game. I don’t want to be in a position in which I live in a goldfish bowl and have to worry about what people think.
Example #1:
Several years ago I went over to a dear friend’s house to help build his Sukkah. It is quite pleasant to work with music playing in the background. We had to be cautious about what we played because the community likes to talk and it could get him in trouble.
Mind you, this was not gangster rap. It didn’t really fall into salacious or prurient. It was a mix of classic rock. But he was afraid that members of the community would take issue with his choice, that secular music would cause problems.
Example #2
A different friend of mine ran into problems in his shul because one of the prominent members felt that he had been snubbed by my friend. It wasn’t real clear what or how it happened, just that it had and that the macher was upset.
These sorts of things would make me crazy. The minutiae of my life is irritating enough without having a million congregants pick it apart. And not being able to speak my mind would irk me. I suppose that telling a congregant that his name should have been Korach isn’t nice, but…
On a side note my son recently asked me to name some of the jobs I have had and I had to restrain myself from getting too creative. But he is only going to be a little boy for a short while so I did tease him a bit.
I told him that I used to work as the hole maker at a Bagel and Donut factory and as a Cookie Cutter.
If I have more time I’ll come back and tell you more about that later.
Here is a collection of some of the recent posts we put up here:
Happy Birthday To The Dark Haired Beauty
A Story Using Song Lyrics Revisited Continued
Life Changing Moments
A Story Using Song Lyrics Revisited
Men Who Wear Pink
The Cubicle Celebrates 40 Years
Angry With G-d
Soon to Be Appearing at: First International Jewish Bloggers Conference
Name a Song That Makes You Cry
The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants
Who Remembers Richie’s Pizza?
Why I Quit Blogging
The midnight hour approaches and I am wide awake. Today we celebrated the dark haired beauty’s fourth birthday. And like so many other parents I can’t help but wonder how she got to be this age.
Really, it was just yesterday that she was in utero and we were wondering who would come to greet us. At this time four years ago she had been in the world for all of 20 minutes or so. I remember staring at her, counting her fingers and toes, confirming that everything was right with her.
One of the first things that I noticed was a ton of dark curly hair on her head. I remember smiling as I realized that if nothing else we shared the same hair color.
So here I am four years later, the proud dad of a girl that continuously amazes me. She was born with a mind of her own and has never been shy about showing it. She hasn’t any problem telling you what she wants.
Last night she told me that she wanted to play with me and I of course said sure. I got to be the baby. She made me lie down on the couch and then covered me with a blanket. For the next half hour or so she alternated between telling me stories, patting my back and singing songs.
And did I mention that she tried to do my hair. For some reason she is determined to try and give me a pony tail. It makes me laugh. I wore a flat top for close to 25 years and then when it got a bit thin for that kept it cropped pretty short.
In spite of this the girl still tried to coax my hair into a clip and then some sort of rubber band thing, but to no avail. Her own hair is filled with the sort of curls that make women stop and stare in admiration. It falls to the middle of her shoulders, unless it is wet in which case it hits her middle back.
I told her that if she loaned me some hair I’d be happy to let her put it up for me. She said sure, as long as it didn’t mean cutting it and then instructed me not to cut my hair for at least ten years. I asked her why she said ten and she told me that by then it would be long enough to give me a pony.
Per her request we took her out to her favorite restaurant for dinner. It was a great meal, at least I very much enjoyed it. She on the other hand decided to wear it. Ok, she didn’t want to, but was graced with the gift of vomit covered clothing. Upon our arrival home we cleaned her up and put her to bed.
She then decided that we didn’t have enough laundry to do and covered her bed twice in the remnants of dinner. Once again I cleaned her up, but this time I took her in my arms and let her rest her head on my shoulder. For a good half hour or so we sat on the couch and I told her stories until she finally passed out.
And now I can see her lying in her bed. She is asleep and hopefully will remain that way for the rest of the night. She sleeps the way I used to. Once she goes down she is out for the count. It is a deep, restful sleep that I can’t seem to copy.
I find it relaxing to watch her sleep. I sit her wondering what she’ll look like when she is older and wonder what she’ll be like as a teen and an adult. Don’t get me wrong, I want her to stay a child for as long as possible. Adult life comes far too quickly.
Oh, did I mention that I am having her brother trained in various disciplines of death. When the young suitors come the big boy and I will be ready for them. I know how those boys think, I used to be one. Do I really have to let her date. Oy, I can’t think about this right now.
Anyhoo, the dear girl has gotten short shrift in this blog as it feels like I have spent far more time writing about her brother. So as part of my penance here are some links to some past posts about her.
The Princess Speaks
Daddy You Died
My Daughter’s Favorite Book
A Big Girl Bed
Death Comes For Us All- When Do you Start Saying Goodbye
She Needs To Know About Boys
Penis Talk Revisited
His Penis Is In The Wrong Place
Dancing WIth My Daughter
This is part two of a A Story Using Song Lyrics Revisited. If you want to participate let me know and we’ll figure out a way to make it happen. Remember, the beauty of cut and paste is that we edit and manipulate this over and over.
“I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted spaceHate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for youHate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you”
Hate Me– Blue October“Well it’s been ten years, and a thousand tears
And look at the mess I’m in-
A broken nose and a broken heart,
An empty bottle of gin
Well I sit and I pray
In my broken down Chevrolet-
While I’m singin’ to myself
There’s got to be another wayTake away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
I’m lonely and I’m tired
And I can’t take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chainWell I’ve searched and I’ve searched
To find the perfect life-
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife-
But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there-
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere”
Ball and Chain– Social Distortion“I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for”
I Still Haven’t Found What I am Looking For– U2“You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want
Your story to remain untoldBut all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you”
All I Want Is You– U2“It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough
Man meets woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And youve got to learn to live with what you cant rise above if you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love”
Tunnel of Love– Bruce Springsteen“Girl, you’re blowing my mind ’cause I can’t get…(Next to you)
Can’t you see these tears I’m crying? I can’t get… (Next to you)
Girl, it’s you that I need. I gotta get…(Next to you)
Can’t you see these tears I’m crying? I can’t get… (Next to you)
I, I, I, I… I can’t get…(Next to you)
I, I, I, I… I can’t get…(Next to you)
Girl, you’re blowing my mind…”
I Can’t Get Next to You-The Temptations“Maybe I’m a man and maybe I’m a lonely man
Who’s in the middle of something
That he doesn’t really understand
Maybe I’m a man
and maybe you’re the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby won’t you help me understand
Oh, oh, oooooo, yeah, hey
Oh, oh, oooooo, yeah, yeah, ooo
Oooooooooooooo
Maybe I’m amazed
at the way you’re with me all the time
Maybe I’m afraid of the way I leave you”
Maybe I’m Amazed-Paul McCartney“But for now, love, let’s be real;
I never thought I could feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it.
I don’t know where we went wrong,
But the feeling’s gone
And I just can’t get it back.If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie,
‘Bout a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong.
With chains upon my feet.
But stories always end,
And if you read between the lines,
You’d know that I’m just tryin’ to understand
The feelin’s that you lack.
I never thought I could feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it.
I don’t know where we went wrong,”If You Could Read My Mind– Gordon Lightfoot“I dont wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
Youve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all……”
The Winner Takes It All– Abba“I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I’ve loved you for my life, yes, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singin’ my song for you, yes
We were alone and I was singin’ this song for you, baby
We were alone and I was singin’ my song,
Singin’ my song, singin’ my song, singin’ my song
Singin’ my song”
A Song For You– Ray Charles“She’s forty-one and her daddy still calls ‘er “baby”
All the folks ’round Brownsville say she’s crazy
‘Cause she walks downtown with her suitcase in her hand
Lookin’ for a mysterious dark-haired man”
Delta Dawn– Helen Reddy
Yesterday afternoon I was asked how many life changing events I could identify. It sounds like a simple enough idea. Take a little time and write down the moments/events that changed your life.
I didn’t want to focus on the obvious ones, such as the birth of my children. I am not minimizing them, they are all incredibly important. Rather I am trying to dig deeper and see what I can learn, if anything about myself.
It is an exercise that I expect I might try and do a few times so that I can compare my notes and see if my opinion about some things has changed. Before I get started a brief comment. Due to various events I don’t feel as safe in posting some things here. It is not because they’re illegal or wrong, they’re just quite personal.
As I have mentioned in the past the loss of anonymity has impeded some of my ability to just share my thoughts here. Anyway, I am going to try and list a few and we’ll see how and where it goes. I expect that it will be revised and refined many times.
P.S. For the moment this is not in order of importance:
And so the pressure is on. That list above is the first draft. It is soft and missing things, but what…
