Johnny’s Frustration Continued
This post is a continuation of this one.
Johnny looked up from his computer screen and stared vacantly at the ceiling. For a brief moment he was lost in pleasant thoughts about something, but he wasn’t quite able to say what that something was. For weeks he had been subsisting on far too little sleep and a diet that would make a nutritionist scream in fear and anger.
He was at the office…again. Just one more drone working to make the company money so that the shareholders would be happy and so that Jimmy Consumer could wipe his ass with softer toilet paper. Look around John and what do you see, just a sea of cubicles that just happened to be stationed inside a room with white walls. Would it kill them to come up with some color. Did the office have to be so sterile, so utterly uninspiring.
For a moment he considered climbing on top of his desk and screaming. For a moment he pictured himself standing there, shouting “I am as mad as hell and I am not going to take it any more.” It wasn’t an original line, but he liked the sentiment. “Hell, I can’t climb up empty handed, now can I,” he thought.
A quick survey of the area solved his problem. Across the room there was a black halogen lamp. It was just begging to be used as a lance or sword. Now, we are getting somewhere. As we considered his options Mark Rudolph Kelling sauntered into view. As the big dork ambled around Johnny thought about testing out the halogen lamp soon to be lance on Kelling’s enormous head.
It wasn’t nice, but he never could figure out how such a big head could be supported by such a small neck. One swift blow and that sucker would snap right off and roll on down the hall. Johnny stifled a snort at the thought. There had been any number of occasions where he wanted to smack him. That big mouth had no filter on it. He just said whatever came to mind. Johnny couldn’t count the number of times Mark’s mouth had gotten them into trouble.
Truth was that Johnny wouldn’t hit him for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was that he didn’t respect him. Mark deserved to be slapped, not hit. Johnny smiled inwardly at the thought. Growing up that would have been among the ultimate insults. If you got into a fight with another boy and were slapped you knew that his opinion of you ranked just above child molesters.
But those days were long gone and wouldn’t ever be seen again except in the memories of the men who had lived them.
How long had it been since June and he had stopped speaking. He couldn’t quite remember. It was a while, probably not as long as he thought, but certainly long enough to notice. It was more than an unpleasant experience. He hated it. The woman was his best friend and now his best friend was gone.
This was the reason why the guys used to tell each other never to let a woman get that deep beneath your skin. The boys would always be there. The guys wouldn’t get upset at all of that female nonsense. They wouldn’t come up with such stupid, cockamamie reasons for needing time apart.
On the other hand there were some experiences that you just wouldn’t share with them, not to mention that it was a hell of a lot more fun to do them with a girl.
That brought up another thought. June was always particular about being described as a woman, but she sure loved it when Johnny called her “his girl.” Didn’t exactly make sense to him, but if it made her happy he didn’t care.
What he did care about was her claim that sometimes love isn’t enough. That is the kind of thing that people say when one party has some sort of serious issue. They weren’t junkies, no one was using, drinking or doing anything of the sort.
They didn’t get tired of spending time together, never complained about running out of things to say. In fact one of the things that they agreed was nice was that they could spend time together without having to speak. They didn’t have uncomfortable silences, other than the current one in which they weren’t speaking.
Johnny wondered how much longer he needed to continue to maintain radio silence. “Radio silence.” He liked thinking about it that way, it made it sound like a secret mission, made it easier to get through the day.
He had intentionally pushed for it. June couldn’t seem to make up her mind, so he had decided to help force the issue. Let her see what life was like without him. Let her wonder if he had someone new. Let her feel the pain of his absence.
The real question was, did she. Did she miss him. Did she notice that he was gone. Maybe she didn’t. The truth was that pretty soon he’d find out. He didn’t like doing things like this, but sometimes someone had to take control. Better to learn early on if he needed to try and fix a broken heart.
Still, he just couldn’t imagine it. He just couldn’t wrap his brain around it. Maybe he was mentally ill, but he truly couldn’t imagine that they could live their lives without each other. Love is the engine that drives the relationship. It is the fuel for the motor and if you let it work, it will give you what you need to get to that destination.
Johnny snorted again, time to stop writing stupid greeting cards and get back to business. There was work to do.