I woke up far too early this morning. It wasn’t just a few minutes before the alarm, but hours. Got up and made my way through the house to the far bathroom, one of my personal sanctuaries. There in my Fortress of Solitude I took care of my business and slowly shuffled back to bed.
Eyes half closed I used Jack’s radar system to carefully navigate around the kid’s shopping cart, kitchen and and toy cars. Even managed to get back to bed without stubbing my toe. Climbed back in and spent a few minutes rolling around from side to side, trying to convince the body that it was time to sleep again.
Ended up on my back staring at the ceiling. There in the dark I felt my mood begin to darken. I wasn’t ready to be awake. It wasn’t one of those mornings in which I was going to jump out of bed and get an early start. Reminds me of a woman I worked with years ago who used to take great pleasure out of singing “Put on a Happy Face” to all who walked in. I used to think that if cartoons were reality I would walk over and pull her lower lip over her head. It would make a great hood.
Sometimes you need to give people two minutes to come inside and get settled before you assault them with such noise. I remember telling someone about this story and she responded angrily to the lower lip as a hood thing. She chastised me and suggested that I was mean. I asked her if she had ever wondered if perhaps the irritating lady with the loud dress and terrible singing voice was intentionally trying to piss people off. It hadn’t occurred to her.
Still she didn’t care and resumed chastising me. I glared at her and she asked what I was thinking. Told her that I was imagining her wearing her lower lip as a hood. She started to speak and I said that I was serious and she shut up. Later on I received a visit from someone else who asked why I had threatened her. I laughed and asked if anyone really took that seriously. I mean really, how would I pull her lower lip over her head. She laughed and said “you’re right.”
Good thing, because I was imagining her wearing the old lip hood too. Not that it matters cartoons are not reality.
While back a lawyer friend told me that I should be careful what I blog about because someone might try to use it against me. Well, if you want to take silly ramblings like this and claim something I suppose you can try. Just remember if cartoons ever become reality you might find your lip pulled over your head.
So there I lay in bed cursing to myself. This doesn’t happen to me. The Shmata Queen has this sleep issue, I don’t. I sleep. If I am stressed out I work out. I go play ball or hit the heavy bag until I am too tired to be awake. Lately I like to pound that bag to the sound of the symphonic version of The Battle of Evermore.
It is good to have a beat to accompany the flying fists. Right, left, right left, you begin slowly and develop a rhythm. Gradually you begin throwing combinations and when the moment is right you start pounding the sand out of that bag. There is something really satisfying about the sound of the gloves smacking that bag.
Nothing like a little sweat to make your mood change. In and out, in and out. Dancing around like Ali I pound the bag and lose myself in the moment.
But at 4 am you are not going to find me out in the garage. Nope, at that time I am supposed to be asleep dreaming about the many adventures I had and am having. That’s the time where I am laying a beating upon the dragon and enjoying the gratitude bestowed upon me by the queen that I have rescued.
Nah, see me in the garage at 4 am it is because I am grabbing a shovel to use to beat the car thief with.
Monday mornings are just not supposed to begin this way. I am in a foul mood. Granted this silly talk about lower lips and hoods has lightened my mood, but just barely. I am not ready to be awake, not yet. I may try to sneak in another twenty minutes of snooze time, a do over.
Don’t ask me why, but at the moment aside from glaring and grumbling I just have this thought that this is not the life that I am supposed to be leading.
Ok, enough bitching, it is time for some coffee.