• Skip to main content

The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

  • About Jack
    • Other Places You Can Find Me
  • Contact Me
    • Disclosure
  • Where The Skeletons Are Buried

BCS Declares Germany to be the Winner of WWII

January 14, 2009 by Jack Steiner

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

I saw this at The Volokh Conspiracy.

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented ” France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

(Visited 36 times, 1 visits today)

Share this:

  • Share
  • Reddit
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Humor

There are no comments

Join The Conversation Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please wait while you are being authenticated...

  
Please enter an e-mail address

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Copyright © 2021 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in