The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for June 2009

The Wiggles Don’t Play Here Anymore

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The end of the school year has finally arrived and as promised my children were given instructions to go through their toys and figure out what they want to hold on to and what they can give away. The dark haired beauty put her hands on her hips and and glared at me for having the temerity to ask her to help cut down on clutter.

All it took was one a glare and a step towards her room to spur her into action. She understands that though I may be thoroughly in love with her I am in complete control of my actions. Manipulation only takes place when the old man is willing to allow it.

And as Father’s Day is around the corner it is nice to know that my glare is continuing to improve. Perhaps I’ll try it on my old man and see if it works. It will be a battle of two jedi masters. Ok, who am I kidding, those icy blues of his are more effective than mine, or maybe it is that whole kabed et evecha thing. Who knows.

Anyhoo, as the kids went through their stuff they brought it over and and built a small pile of things that they said that they were happy to give away. As I looked at the pile I saw that there was a Wiggles coloring book on the top. I imagine that I must have had a wistful smile on my face. It seems like yesterday that The Wiggles were a treasured favorite.

But those days are gone, The Wiggles do not play here anymore.

Truth is that they disappeared a long time ago. So long ago that I truly have to think about how long ago it was. Her big brother was a dyed in the wool fan of the Aussies. For a while, a long while the house was consistently filled with the sounds of their songs and or videos. Sometimes I would catch myself at work singing about Fruit Salad or the Big Red Car.

And then one day he decided that he was done with them and they dropped off of his list. But the dark haired beauty has no bigger hero than her brother so she kept up the tradition…for a while. She never did want to watch the videos the way that he did. In part that was because she found Dora, a girl, far more interesting.

Still she would play their CD and dance around to their music, but that ended too. Again, I can’t really say when. It just kind of fizzled out and faded away.

Now that she has graduated from preschool she is interested in big girl pursuits, this she has made clear.

Earlier tonight she asked me to open her nail polish so that she could make herself my beautiful princess. I smiled and told her that she is always my beautiful princess. She smiled and told me that she could be even more beautiful if I opened the bottle. And then for good measure she offered to draw me pretty pictures every day.

Lord help us all when she really figures out how to negotiate. Anyway, I bent over and kissed her forehead and told her to go brush her teeth. She started to try to negotiate again and I gave her a look and that ended it.

As she walked away I looked at her and thought about how big she has gotten and sighed. The Wiggles Don’t Play Here Anymore.

Murder- He Said That He Is Going To Kill Me

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This is not something that I have made up.

I just received the following threatening email from someone called Mustafa Babar. Good to know that I am being targeted by a man named after an elephant who is the beloved protagonist of children’s books.

ATTN.

LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY ,THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN CONTACT
YOU, my TEAM HAS BEEN PAID TO ASSASINATE YOU, I HAVE EVERY REASON TO
CARRY OUT THE CONTRACT,BUT I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE AND SAVE YOUR FAMILY THIS PAIN,THIS YOUR ALTERNATIVE,I WISH TO HELP YOU UNLESS YOU
DONT WANT TO HELP YOUR SELF,I WILL SEND YOU ENOUGH EVIDENCE YOU NEED ON A VIDEO TAPE RECORD
TO NAIL MY EMPLOYER DOWN WITH THE LAW.

BEFORE THAT YOUR REQUIRED TO MAKE AVAILABLE THE SUM OF $70,000. USD,
AFTER WHICH I WILL DIRECT YOU ON WHAT TO DO NEXT TO SAVE YOUR SELF AND
YOUR FAMILY FROM THIS PAIN THAT WOULD HAVE BEFALLED YOU FROM MY
EMPLOYER,THE MONEY WILL BE USED TO SETTLE THE TEAM MEN INVOLVED TO GO
BACK TO THERE DESTINATIONS AND YOU BETTER KEEP THIS INFORMATION TO
YOUR SELF BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW WHO IS WHO WHERE YOU ARE NOW,IF HE
FINDS OUT I HAVE BETRAYED HIM TRYING TO HELP YOU,YOU WILL HAVE YOUR
SELF TO BLAME, I HAVE ORDERED MY MEN TO SATY AWAY FROM YOU.

DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR NOT ?

NOTE: YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS HERE, (1)YOU HAVE TO GET HIM ARRESTED WITH
THE INFORMATION I WILL GIVE YOU AFTER THE PAYMENT OR ( 2)YOU HAVE HIM
KILLED TO SAVE YOUR SELF.

I WILL VISIT YOUR HOUSE AGAIN BUT NOT NOW,MY BOYS EYES ARE ON YOU SO
GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

Here is my response to the email address he provided, mustaphababar009@yahoo.com.cn

Dear Mustapha,

Though I suspect that this may be a scam I have passed along your information to the F.B.I. and local law enforcement as I do not take threats on my life lightly. They should be visiting you in the very near future at which point in time you’ll gain a new residence.

But on the very slim chance that you are serious about this allow me to confirm that any assault on myself or my family will be met with a swift and severe response. Understand that this is a guarantee and not a promise.

-Jack

Blog Cliques/Blog Communities

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Someone asked me if there is such a thing as a blog clique or blog community. I smiled, said yes and then told them that they aren’t part of mine. And then I stuck my tongue out at her, pulled her hair and kicked her in the shins.

For some reason at 40 that doesn’t receive the same response as it did when I was six. Back then they told my parents that I was an awful, terrible child who would never have any friends. Now it warranted a visit from men with silver bracelets and dark suits. Not to mention some guy named Mike who showed up with a Louisville Slugger and promises of using my head for batting practice.

I guess that Mike hasn’t watched as many action movies as I had or he would have known that as he swung the bat I would grab it and stop it in mid flight. Then while he stared blankly I’d take it from him and pop him in the mouth.

Moments later I’d be surrounded by his three dopey friends. They’d circle around me and I’d glare at them, all the while spinning the bat in my hands like some sort of baton. Seconds later the first one would come charging at me only to learn the same lesson as Mike, Jack’s fists of fury cannot be stopped.

In the end they’d all end up lying in various states of ass kickery wondering why they were dumb enough to listen to a guy like Mike, who trusts a man who looks like a muppet anyway.

Ok, none of that really happened. I didn’t get arrested, didn’t beat up any muppets or kick a girl in the shins. But I did talk to someone about blog cliques and communities because they do exist.

A clique is sort of an odd term to try and apply to the blogosphere. If you apply the old school definition you have a group of people that have some sort of terms for membership. If you were in school that could potentially be problematic or tricky because it could be hard to make friends.

But not here, not in the blogosphere.

The thing about cyberspace is that it is broad, it is vast and it offers lots of places to hang out. So you very well may stumble upon blogs where it is clear that the commenters have developed some sort of relationship that isn’t very welcoming to newcomers. So what, who cares.

Take advantage of the space and go elsewhere. That is the beauty of it all. Don’t fret about being excluded. Go find a community that has similar interests and hang out with them. I can guarantee that they exist, as in plural. Why hang out with people who aren’t friendly when you don’t have to.

Fly, be free.

Who Is Mir Hossein Mousavi?

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CBS News offers the following information about Mousavi.

(CBS) His supporters may have taken to the streets – even died for his cause. But Mir Hossein Mousavi is neither a champion of democracy as we know it, nor an advocate of great change within Iran’s Mullah-dominated government.

“He’s not a secular intellectual in the molds of Western intellectuals,” said Baqer Moin, an Iranian commentator. “No, he’s coming from within the revolution.”

In fact he was part of the revolution, a supporter of the Ayatollah Khomeini when he came to power in 1979 – a government minister during the Revolution’s turbulent early years.

“Then he became prime minister and was prime minister for nearly eight years,” Moin said.

“Very much an establishment figure,” asked CBS News correspondent Mark Phillips.

“Absolutely,” Moin said.

Even if Mousavi came to power, the change he represents is more of tone than policy.

He may not deny the Holocaust, but he has made no promise to end Iran’s support for the militants in Hezbollah or Hamas on Israel’s borders.

And while he might be prepared to talk about it, he too is committed to Iran’s nuclear program.

“He’s a moderate, he’s a pragmatist moderate,” Moin said.

I don’t know. Is he really any better than Ahmadinejad . I am not convinced and not sure what to think. You’ll forgive me for being a skeptic, but history has taught that sometimes caution is warranted.

Ahmadinejad is the devil we know. We know where he stands and what he wants. There is something to be said for that. That is not to say that it is impossible that Mousavi is better or that real reform isn’t on the horizon, but I wonder.