The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for August 2009

Send a Blogger To Israel For The JBlogger Conference

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The denizens of the Jblogosphere have the chance to send a blogger to Israel. Yes, friends and neighbors you can help one of your fellow bloggers win a free trip to Israel to attend the Second International Jewish Bloggers Convention.

I am short on time so I am going to quote the Elder here:

Nefesh B’Nefesh is asking Jewish/Israeli bloggers to nominate other bloggers to fly to Israel on a NbN flight, with the proviso that they must write about their experience.

The catch is that we can only nominate other bloggers and must write a blog post as to why we chose that person.

And I am actually going to bend the rules and nominate two people. The first is the inimitable Soccer Dad, my predecessor as the admin of Haveil Havalim.

Every so often you will see posts such as The Golden Age Of The JBlogosphere in which silly old timers talk about how much better things were in the past. Soccer Dad is responsible for many of the positive developments of the present.

He has been a consistent and stable presence within the Jblogosphere and has always been good about trying to help others. His is a labor of love. It is not easy dealing with all of us crazy MOTs and all of the mishegahs surrounding us, but he does it daily.

My second nominee is another elder statesman of the Jblogosphere. The Elder has been around for what seems like forever now. He produces high quality posts that have served as an excellent resource for Israel advocacy.

And again he does so with great regularity. It takes a lot of time and effort to do what these men do and they deserve our thanks and recognition for it.

A Severe Case of Bad Blogging

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A reader wrote in and asked me if I ever encounter writer’s block or situations in which I am less than satisfied with the quality of my posts. The answer is yes to both questions. It is not at all uncommon for me to stare at the screen and wonder why the words aren’t magically filling it.

And without a doubt I have published more than one post whose quality was less than stellar. Blogging is no different than anything else in life there are good days and bad days. There is one significant difference between bad days in general and bad days in blogging.

A bad day in blogging can not only be memorialized forever it can go viral and be seen by millions of people. A bad day in blogging can hurt you professionally and personally. I suppose that if you are really paranoid I just helped to make your day.

In every day life you really have to work hard to do something dumb enough to receive that kind of life long notoriety.

For most of us none of these things in real life or in blogging will happen so let’s circle back and talk about the more mundane question of what to do about bad blogging. What happens when the quality of your posts suffer and how do you deal with it.

There are a few initial questions to ask such as whether it is a personal or professional blog. The answer there is self evident. If your blog is supposed to provide a professional representation of your work you need to take extra care with what you publish. Better to provide fewer examples of a higher quality than a thousand mediocre ones.

On the personal side it is a different sort of question. I view my blog as a working tool and living chronicle of my life. As such I am less finicky about publishing posts that may not always be my finest work. Doing so provides me with benchmarks that I can use to measure my growth as a writer/blogger.

And candidly I am confident enough in my ability that I do not worry that I going to publish total crap. It doesn’t mean that I love everything I write, but I can usually live with it.

One more thing to mention. I like reading a blog that isn’t composed solely of shiny pennies. I think it is more authentic to read a series of posts and get a chance to see the diamonds in the rough.

The bottom line here is that blogging is another one those places where we have shared experiences. We all have moments of doubt and uncertainty. Sometimes you just have to endure a severe case of bad blogging and work your way through it.

What do you think?

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A Father’s Responsibility

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Sunday night my father and I had a good old fashioned fight that reminded me of that guy that used to live in their house. He looked a lot like me, but he had more hair and drove a bitchin’ Camaro. Five

First generation Chevrolet Camaro.Image via Wikipedia

points to anyone who gets the musical reference.

Anyhoo, the old man and I screamed at each other for a bit and followed it up by glaring at each other in a way that would have melted steel. I won’t bore you with the particulars of the disagreement other than to say that ultimately we were both coming from the same place, a twilight zone I like to call A Father’s Responsibility.

A Father’s Responsibility is a catch all for all of the obligations that we fathers have upon our shoulders and it is a load. Before the mothers erupt in a huff this isn’t a competition about who has more work or more responsibility. It is not about who suffers more for the sake of the family.

Those types of discussions are bootless, fruitless and useless.

I am not the kind of guy who makes to do lists and gets off on checking off items as I complete them. I am goal oriented, but in a different sort of way. I am the guy that gets lost in thought for a thousand hours and then comes out of the day dream trying to figure out a good reason why I can’t make it reality.

Not unlike most parents I have sacrificed many things for the sake of my children and my family. For many years it was a traditional set up while mom stayed home I went to work and functioned as the sole provider. It is an awesome responsibility and one I gladly took on. But I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t a relief to get some help there.

When we were robbed at Target it hurt for many reasons, not the least of which was because it was an affront to my fragile male ego. It is my job to protect my family and I felt like I had failed. I was face to face with the guy. It is probably a good thing that I didn’t try to take him down. There is no telling what could have happened, but it grated on my nerves. I don’t ever want the family to be afraid that I won’t protect them because I never forget about their safety.

That is because it is A Father’s Responsibility to handle that. When there are repairs to be made around the house I make a point of involving my children. There are two reasons that I do that. One is that it helps to teach them that we all have responsibilities and that they are not exempt from them. And it also provides a practical teaching experience. One day they’ll have to fix a toilet, change a tire or take apart a sink.

I do my best to try to make time to play with them. It is not always easy, especially given the current economic climate. There may be some traditional role playing going on now, but I want them to always feel comfortable coming to me. I am not always as good about that as I should be.

The dark haired beauty sometimes brushes my hair while I am working at the computer. Fancy Nancy sometimes hears stories while the BlackBerry buzzes. These are moments that I struggle with because A Father’s Responsibility means providing and playing. It is sometimes hard to weigh which is more important.

So I try to compromise and set aside time where the turn off the phone and walk away from the computer. It is these moments when having a home office really is a double edged sword. But at the same time who else is going to pick them up and swing them around. Who is going to wrestle and tickle them. It is A Father’s Responsibility to get them totally amped up before bedtime.

Anyhoo, when my old man (he just loves when I refer to him that way) got irritated with me much of it had to do with his perception of his current responsibilities towards me. He is good about it. I tend not to hear criticism unless he sees it as a safety issue or I ask. This time I asked a question and he didn’t like my response and we ended up jumping all over each other.

But the best part about taking a trip back in time was that instead of having to stew inside my room I could just get up and go home. On a side note, I probably should apologize to my mother. Our voices carry and since our cone of silence is broken she was forced to endure 400 pounds of angry men.

Later on when the dust had settled my father called and reminded me that the good news is that I only have another 30 years or so before I get to retire. I asked him why that is good news and he said, “you’re grandparents are 95” the last thing I heard before he disconnected was him laughing.

He may have been laughing, but I know better, A Father’s Responsibility never goes away.

Does Fear Prevent You From Living Your Life

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The rules of the blog are simple- brutal honesty. This is where I empty out the contents that are rattling around inside my skull and sift through them. This is where I take a hard look at myself and demand that I be honest with myself about all that I think and all that I feel.

It is not a joke. It is a serious exercise and at times a very painful one. I make a point of visiting the good and the bad. I know what my flaws are and the ways in which I sometimes hide from them.

I am no different from anyone else. There are painful moments and experiences that have shaped and influenced me. The question I ask myself is whether there are lingering effects from those times. What are the things that are preventing me from taking that next step.

Am I living the life I want to lead or is fear preventing me from doing what I need to do. I think that I am in a transitional stage which is why I am asking these questions and why this Nickelback songresonates with me.

So tell me, dear reader, Does Fear Prevent You From Living Your Life?

“My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’re never living twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you’re dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
‘Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you’re dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you’d finally fall in love if today was your last day?”
If Today Was Your Last Day- Nickelback