Ten years ago I stood in the on-deck circle and waited for my turn at bat to come. The baby was due in January but I knew that there was a possibility that he or she might decide to come earlier. Sometimes I would put my hand on wife’s belly and geek out with Vulcan Mind Meld in which I would ask them not to decide to be born while I was stuck on the 405.
That little person inside proved to be related to me by completely ignoring my request and showing up unscheduled in the middle of the night. In the decade that has passed I have often told him that love has saved his life on more than one occasion. He laughs at that, this boy who has hands and feet that are identical to my own. In so many ways he is like me but also very much his own person.
Last night as he drifted off to sleep he asked me when I was going to let him read my blog. It caught me off guard and I used my Jedi Mind Trick abilities. “I am sorry, your father has left the room.” Apparently all this time playing with Star Wars Lego sets has given him his own Jedi training and he was able to shrug it off.
“Dad, you are right there.” I smiled and told him that he is way too smart. Even though it was dark I could see him smile and was more than a little pleased when he repeated the question with the caveat to not try to change the subject. I laughed again and told him that I had a different question for him to answer first.
“If we were Star Wars characters who would we be?” It is a funny sort of thing to think about because though we share a love of Star Wars there is a distinct difference in our experiences. That difference is the source of the PSA that teaches dads how to talk to their children about Star Wars. I grew up in a world in which Darth Vader was evil incarnate. That scene in Empire in which he tells Luke that he is his father is epic. Unfortunately the changes that have been made have stolen some of the thunder and power from it.
I mention this because I half anticipated him telling me that I am Anakin and that he is Obi-Wan. I haven’t really thought about what character I wanted to be since I saw Star Wars in the drive-in. Yes kiddies, I saw it in 1977 at a drive-in in Chatsworth- I am old. 😉
Anyway, the question was never answered because in the silence of his bedroom that little boy of mine slipped into a very deep slumber. It is a beautiful thing watching your children sleep. They are little bundles of potential who don’t worry about serious stuff. When they sleep you see innocence illustrated and wonder what you can do to regain such peaceful slumber for yourself.
Having been saved by the proverbial bell I was granted some time to consider whether I’ll let him read this blog. My intention has always been to give this over to my children, but not for many years to come. The plan was to let them read it as grown ups and that is probably what I’ll stick with.
They really don’t need to be exposed to some of this material for quite some time to come. But his question is a good reminder that we are reaching a point in time where I am going to have to be more cautious in what I share as these stories are not solely my own.