Archives for December 2010

(This is another recycled post but most of it is still true. What do you think?)

One of the things about blogging that I have noticed is that readers come and go. I recognize that there is nothing profound about this, but I find it to be interesting. I suppose that I should elaborate upon this idea.

If you get involved in following the various stat checking tools (stat counters, Technorati, etc.) you begin to notice that there are certain people who consistently appear at your blog. They may not always comment, for that matter they may never do so, but they still follow your work.

The seventeen longtime readers are well aware that I check my stats on a regular basis, maybe too consistently. I won’t say that I cannot help it, but I really do find it quite interesting to see what is moving here. Which posts are the most widely read, what keywords are used to bring people here etc.

Anyway, from time to time I notice that some people have dropped me and I am usually curious why. I wonder if they got bored, if I offended them or if they just found better things to do with their time.

Then again I wonder whether who would win in a fight between Scooby Doo and the Jetson’s dog Astro. Maybe I am spending too much time here at the keyboard.

Hmmmmmmmm…………..

More than 30 years ago a boy with dark curly hair and hazel-green eyes got into trouble because he didn’t listen to his parents. It wasn’t because he climbed up on the stove, stuffed raisins up his little sister’s nose or smashed eggs on the floor. Nor was it because he would wander off in stores. Actually it was all of these things and more.

That little boy got into trouble because he was a dreamer who lived inside his head. He got into trouble because at times he was impulsive and when that was matched with a heavy dose of curiosity it made for a child who was willing to test the limits. He got into trouble because he was stubborn and if he was upset he was willing to accept the punishment that came with not listening, at least most of the time he was.

At five he decided that he was unhappy with the idea of being punished so he tried to negotiate terms with his father. Instead of being sent to his room he suggested that they engage in a fight. It sounds silly to hear the tale of the five year-old who thought that he could defeat a grown man in hand-to-hand combat but the boy was a dreamer.

A dreamer who grew up to be man who still dreams.  A man who at times has lost his way because he lost touch with his dreams. It might sound silly but those dreams provide roots and a foundation for who he is. Those dreams are like the long flowing locks that graced Samson’s head. Cut off the dreams and the man becomes weak, uncertain and less than who he could be.

But restore those same dreams to their rightful place and he grows strong, confident and capable of doing anything. Those dreams are like the light of the yellow sun for Superman, the source of his power. Those dreams feed his imagination and fuel his intellect. They are a resource that he draws upon to map out the path of his life and help to create the plan for making it happen.

Those dreams are the yin to the yang of his logic. They enable him to see life in ways that others might not. They provide vision of a future that he couldn’t otherwise imagine. Dreams provide structure and they provide hope. They provide a connection between the boy and the man that he uses for his own purposes.

Decades later the boy turned man looks in the mirror and sees a face he doesn’t recognize. It angers him to think of how much time has been wasted on things that don’t provide value to his life. At times he is frustrated and it hurts to acknowledge that he is the source for much of his own distress. He recognizes that he is his own worst critic and that some of the blame cannot be laid at his feet. The dreams do not make him prescient. They do not bestow clairvoyance upon him or bless him with the sort of superpowers that are given to those only found in comic books or on television.

But he hopes that maybe he has a different sort of superpower. He dreams of the gift that he received on January 15 so many years before. He remembers when it became apparent and the feeling it gave him. He knows that some would consider themselves to be the king or queen or low expectations. They are far more tactile in their approach and forget that logic and reason cannot be relied upon as the sole arbiters of decisions to that must be made.

He smiles and remembers that they may have started a story whose end must wait until somewhere down the road. And like every good dreamer he looks up at the moon and remembers that sometimes the people that are most important are the ones you never knew you needed.

The dark haired beauty and I had an argument recently that really upset me. It was early evening, about 30 minutes before dinner time when she came to me with a question.

“Dad, can I have a piece of candy?”

I said no it is too close to dinner and then she asked if she could have some candy for dessert. I reminded her that she had been to a birthday party earlier that day and eaten a bunch of junk food there. She nodded her head and I said that I thought that was enough for today.

And then she leveled me with this, “Are you calling me fat?”

I am sure that my eyes must have grown wide and my jaw dropped. She is 6.5 years old and I have never described her as fat. Neither has her mother, aunts, uncles, grandparents or siblings. Needless to say I was dumbfounded by this and completely taken aback.

I have a million questions: Where is this coming from? Is someone at school calling her names?

She is bright, she is funny, she is beautiful and she is most certainly not fat. For the past two weeks or so I have paid closer attention to her behavior and I haven’t noticed any thing. She hasn’t mentioned this or said anything else that makes me worry but still I am concerned.

I made a point of telling her that I didn’t think that she was fat. I told her that we all try to develop healthy eating habits and pointed out that her great grandparents all lived (and are living, hi grandpa!) long lives because they had healthy eating habits.

FWIW, that is a lie. With the exception of my grandmother they really weren’t big on exercise and they ate what they wanted. Good genes in this family, but I digress.

All I want is for my daughter to be happy with herself. I know that she is going to have her complaints about her body- that seems to be part of being female. I don’t know that we can get around that, but I hope to minimize those. No reason to add more challenges to life if you can avoid it.

Courtesy of iTunes Shuffle.

I’ll Have to Say I Love You In A Song– Jim Croce
Porcelain– Moby
Two Socks – The Wolf Theme- Dancing With Wolves
Relax-Frankie Goes To Hollywood
We Can Work It Out– The Beatles
Around The World-Red Hot Chili Peppers
New York State Of Mind– Billy Joel
Streets Of Philadelphia-Bruce Springsteen
Telephone (feat. Beyonc̩)РLady GaGa
Galbi– Ofra Haza
I Dreamed A Dream (Glee Cast Version)[ feat. Idina Menzel]-Glee Cast
Nights In White Satin– The Moody Blues
Secret World– Peter Gabriel
Californication– Red Hot Chili Peppers

Seven reasons why you won’t read this post. Congratulations you fell for the oldest trick in blogging, the list post. Since you are here stay for a moment. Your host is jammed for time and won’t have new posts up until a bit later today. In the works are posts about what brings you joy, life changing moments and much more.

In the interim try one of these:

The Wisdom of Words
A Mother In The Men’s Room
When Bloggers Bully
7 Reasons Why You Will Read This Post
Teaching Moments
What The Hell Happened to Courtesy
Teach Your Children to…Swear