The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for January 2011

The Dilemma

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It is 1 am and one of the guests has just left the party. We didn’t ask him to leave, nor was he physically ill, but he left nonetheless. He said that he was uncomfortable and that he was having trouble sleeping so we called his parents and his father came to get him.

Now I find that another boy has approached me to say that he is thinking about going home. I have encouraged him to try and sleep, but he is unsure if he can do so. As I speak with him two more boys approach me to say that they also cannot sleep. The other two don’t care about going home, they just want to stay up for as long as they can. I am concerned because I don’t want them up all night.

It is not because I am concerned about what the other parents might say. Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that slumber parties are more about party and less about slumber. It is because I am concerned that they will wake the other boys and that creates a situation that I can’t have. At the same time I don’t want this other boy to leave. He has slept over here a million times and my son will be quite upset if he goes.

He isn’t acting scared. His voice doesn’t quiver when he speaks. I think that his issue is that he is overtired and that is why he is fighting to reach the magical land of nod. So I am drawing upon my best skills as a parent to counsel them and convince them that closing their eyes is the best thing to do. But the truth is that they are not buying into it. I get it, I am not their father, but I am the father of the birthday boy. And I don’t want that boy to be upset because kids left his party. It is not the end of the world, but it is not great.

And let us not forget that I am tired now. I want to get some shut eye. I want to close my eyes and sleep and they are preventing me. Not to mention that they will wake up early and cut my weekend slumber to a small nub.

I could solve this problem by letting the one kid go home. It would make it easier to focus on the other two, but there are the other aforementioned issues. And so I find myself facing a dilemma that irritates the hell out of me. It is too late for this crap and I have far too much to do besides this. Damn sleepover party. Good thing I love this kid.

The Birthday Party

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It is a few minutes after 11 and the boys are watching a movie. I sit 15 feet behind them, typing away on the laptop. My good friend Cab Calloway is singing about Minnie The Moocher and I am praying that these rambunctious lads decide that now is a good time to close their eyes. We have nine 10 year-olds staying over tonight. It is a birthday party for my son and they are having a great time.

I am torn by all of this. My son couldn’t be happier and it is clear that the other boys are enjoying themselves too, so that pleases me. Yet, it is Saturday night and I have a houseful of crazy kids. They have been running wild through this place and it is exhausting. They are good boys, respectful boys who are good friends to each other and my son. They aren’t the kind who are going to get him into trouble, at least not now.

They are no different than I was at their age. While there are some significant generational differences between themselves and myself, I recognize the games and the style of play. When four of them attack each other and roll around the floor wrestling I smile. I am going to be 42 and I still wrestle with some of my friends. Ask G’s wife and she’ll tell you that she expects to see him and I going at it when we are 96. We may be men now, but the boys we once were still come out. I met him the first day of kindergarten.

It is fun to watch these boys play. I take great pleasure in watching my son run with them. These young boys remind me of colts running on the plains. They are on the verge of hitting that ungainly stage when your body grows in fits and spurts. You can see the beginning stages of growth coming. I am fighting to find the words to describe it properly.

I have coached some of these boys. I have run with them on the fields. A short while ago they couldn’t conceive of keeping up. They hadn’t the strength, the speed or the coordination. But that is beginning to change. I see the future coming and recognize that my time of physical domination is waning. It is bittersweet to see it. I love watching this change, my son in particular.

It will be a while before he is truly fast enough to beat me in a race. It will be a bit longer before he has the skills to beat me in some of the games. We’ll play one on one and I’ll win because of strength and cunning for just a while longer. Soon enough my victories will come based upon my wits and will. Yet I smile at the future that I see and at the same time the competitive spirit that lives inside me isn’t quite ready to lay down.

Of course this future I speak of is somewhat contingent upon how the rest of the night goes. If these boys don’t make the smart decision they might find themselves engaging in a battle for their own safety because I might  have to kill them. I won’t miss the high pitched voices. Without a doubt the deeper adult voices that puberty brings will be quite welcome.

And now I must step away from the computer for a moment to go shush them into slumber.

Best Of The Jewish/Israeli Blogosphere #301

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Administrative Notes:

It should be noted that this edition may contain opinions that I disagree with. A blog carnival is a collection of posts from bloggers. This one focuses on the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. We are no different than any other group of people in that the opinions swing from the far left to the far right. I prefer not to censor voices that I disagree with. I may find your opinion to be misguided, foolish and based on the sort of logic that makes the wise men of Chelm seem like Rhodes Scholars, but you are probably included.

Nor does inclusion mean that I think that all voices are entitled to a forum because they are not. Yet sometimes it is important to display those posts that we think are wrong because they speak for themselves, because they are like the proverbial, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Yes, some of your posts are indeed worth a thousand words but bear in mind that isn’t always a compliment.

Welcome to the 301st edition of haveil havalim. In many editions you might read the following:

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs — a weekly collection of Jewish and Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It’s hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack.

Except, I feel kind of funny talking about myself in the third person so… This week was going to be hosted by Frume Sarah but she is ill and so I stepped in. Drop by her blog and wish a Refuah Shleimah.

Anyhoo, I have a house filled with boys, ten year-old boys to be precise. They are here for a slumber party and if you listen carefully you can hear them shrieking, screaming and engaging in all sorts of rambunctious behavior. It is all age appropriate, but I am shell shocked from it.  Sometime soon I need to host this thing again when I have time to do a proper job of it.

I’ll start by promoting one of my posts called, Whiny Bloggers Quit Because It Was Work. Believe it or not, I can build a whole shiur around this. Perhaps we’ll save that for a later date. And now on to the rest of the carnival.

Mordechai Torczyner presents Repent! Signed, Anonymous.

Home Shuling presents Jewish children’s books for grown-ups. And a give-away.

Culture

Avi Green presents The Four Color Media Monitor: Detective Comics Annual 12: Batman hires an Islamist.

Home Shuling presents The best Jewish children’s book of the year – says who?

Humor

Benji Lovitt presents ‘Didja Hear the One about Bibi and the Chocolate Shawarma?’

Israel

Avi Green presents Meet Rami Levy, Zionist entrepreneur posted at Tel-Chai Nation.

Batya presents Jews and Arabs, Can We Live Together-Nearby Peaceably?

Yisroel presents Tu B’Shvat in Israel (My First!) posted at Artzeinu.

Judaism

Susan Barnes presents Discovering Meaning in Ritual.

Chavi presents What to Do If You Question the Validity of Your Conversion and Status Wars: Not Nearly as Fun as Star Wars posted at You’re Not Crazy.

Cosmic X presents Five Levels of Pleasure.

Personal

Mirjam Weiss presents Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates posted at Miriyummy.

Elle presents righting our wrongs posted at On Becoming Devoted.

Politics

Avi Green presents Israeli site reports on the JLA/99 subject posted at The Four Color Media Monitor.

SnoopyTheGoon presents A short keen for Israeli Labor party posted at SimplyJews.

Elise/ Independent Patriot presents Lawfare: From Wansee to the Present posted atLiberty’s Spirit.

Cosmic X presents Gideon Levy’s Intermarried Messiah Lets Him Down posted at****** Cosmic X in Jerusalem ******.

Avi Green presents French FM attacked for country’s support of Gilad Shalit posted atTel-Chai Nation.

Allison Josephs presents The Maccabeats: A Modern Day Chanukah Miracle? | Jew In The City posted at Jew in the City.

leah aharoni presents The Incredible Edible Tu Beshvat Kid Craft posted atIngathered.

Allison Josephs presents You’re Covered: God’s Presence is Closer Than You Think posted at Jew in the City.

Israel

Batya presents Breaking The #1 Safety Rule and Surviving posted at Shiloh Musings.

Challah Hu Akbar presents Internationalizing the Temple Mount posted at Challah Hu Akbar.

Challah Hu Akbar presents Spain & USAID Involved with ‘Travel to Palestine’ Website that Eliminates Israel – Update posted at Challah Hu Akbar.

A Soldier’s Mother presents Rockets are Falling Again posted at A Soldier’s Mother.

Batya presents Dramatic, Photogenic, But No Connection to Their Cause.

davebender presents Israel: ‘Can You Do This Where You Live?’ posted at Israel At Level Ground.

Rivkah presents Dear FeistyFrummy and This Would Never Happen in America posted at Bat Aliyah.

westbankmama presents Assertiveness Training ? Part 2 and Assertiveness Training ? Part 3.”

Sara Layah Shomron presents Gush Katif Education Week: Remembering is the First Step to Rebuilding posted at Shiloh Musings.

Daniel Ben Shmuel presents “Brother Esau” posted at THE JEWISH FIST: A Call to Resurrect the Jewish Scholar-Warrior of Old.

harry presents The end of the line on Jaffa Road posted at Israelity and From Sudan to Jerusalem posted at Israelity.

harry presents Munich memories posted at Israelity.

Joel Katz presents Religion and State in Israel – January 17, 2011 (Section 1) and  (Section 2).

Jewish music

Rivki @ life in the married lane presents I am a rock-star mommy (and you can be one, too).

Judaism

Lady-Light presents Tu b’Shevat and the Holiness of the Land of Israel.

Ben-Yehudah presents Two Rabbis On Messianism.

Rachel Barenblat presents A Short Haggadah for Tu BiShvat.

Batya presents The Fun of Living Here in Israel, A Jewish Country posted at me-ander.

Mirjam Weiss presents No Awful Offal posted at Miriyummy, saying, “Memories of preparing for Shabbat — nothing tastes as wonderful as a memory.”

Rahel presents Elms in the Yard.

Batya presents Haunted Simcha (Joyous Event).

Torah

David Tzohar presents Pharaoh’s plea to the heavenly court: “G-d made me do it”.

Rivki @ life in the married lane presents Torah Tuesdays ? No pain, no gain.

Daniel Ben Shmuel presents Why Did The Feminist Chicken Cross The Road?

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of haveil havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

It Was My Favorite Toy

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Big Wheel

For a few moments in time my Big Wheel was my favorite toy. There was nothing better, cooler, faster or more interesting to me. Unless you consider the Mach 5 but that wasn’t something that I ever saw sold in a store so…

Confession: If I am driving and the song from the second video comes on you better tighten your seat belt because it turns into a an E-Ticket Ride.

A Woman Hit A Man

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A woman hit a man. I saw it happen. I was trapped waiting in line for gas at Costco and saw two people standing outside of their cars. I don’t know if they were related. I don’t know if they were husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend or just two strangers who had a disagreement. What I know is that I saw the two of them arguing and then she slapped him twice.

I felt badly for the man because he just took it. It might have been something that he deserved, but since I don’t know what happened I feel badly. I am not a pacifist by any definition of the word. I have been in my share of fist fights and believe that sometimes war is necessary. None of that means that I think that it is ok for someone not to be able to defend themselves.  This case bothers me because the man was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Had he returned the favor he would have been in serious trouble. People would have assumed that he was in the wrong and gone to defend the woman. He might have been jumped by several men, tased or sprayed with Pepper Spray. It is probable that he would have been assaulted in some fashion and that the police would have received a call about a man beating a woman. An arrest could have been forthcoming.

This is not the first time that I have seen a woman hit a man. It is not as uncommon as people might think. We are not limiting the definition to something that involves a closed fist. It doesn’t have to resemble a boxing match or street fight. The reality is that many women have hit men. Quite a few of you think that because we are usually bigger and stronger that you can hit us. Maybe it is slap across the face or a blow to the chest. You might hit us in the arm or shoulder, but quite a few of you have hit us and it is not alright.

In college a girlfriend of mine hit me twice. I was 19 and she got angry because I was teasing her so she hit me. I laughed the first time she did it. It surprised me. Can’t tell you why I laughed, but when I did she hit me again and I got irritated. I wasn’t hurt physically, but I was irritated because a line was being crossed. It is unfair and unreasonable to create a situation where you cannot defend yourself. I told her that was the last time that she would ever be allowed to do that and it never happened again.

I don’t want to hit a woman. I didn’t then and I don’t now, but I won’t allow anyone to strike me without consequence. Ladies, if this post describes you at all be thankful that he doesn’t respond. I am not sure if you realize just how much stronger we usually are and how much force we can put behind a punch. One stupid fight can be devastating to all parties. Don’t do it. It is not right for a man to beat on you and it is not right for you to hit a man.