They Paid me $500 For This Post

If you are among the 17 long time readers you know that when the angels sent me down to earth they gave me a double dose of insouciance and attitude, or at least that is what I tell my parents. Don’t bother asking me if the supernatural creatures who created me have ever bought that tale because I would have to lie and say that they most certainly did. My parents would never doubt my words or my sincerity.

That would be inconceivable.

Yet the rules of the blog have clearly established the provision that I be honest and say that upon occasion they might have wondered  if I am stretching the truth or engaging in some sort of misdirection. Personally I like the idea of being talented at the art of misdirection. It makes me think of Houdini and well, who wouldn’t want to be like him. Ok, I don’t want to be like Houdini because the dude is dead and I am not ready to be dead yet. Got too much too do and see. Besides it would make my kids cry and though I have done that on more than one occasion this is the sort of thing that might crop back up again, my dying that is.

I think about it sometimes and I wonder what would happen to them. I wonder if I have taught them enough about life and the values that they should hold. I wonder if I have shown them enough about who I am and what is important to me to have a real understanding and picture of who I am. I don’t present that last sentence for the purpose of being arrogant or narcissistic. Rather I mention it because most people are interested in learning more about their parents and the kind of people they were/are.

That is part of the purpose of the blog. It is a chronology of my life and my thoughts/ideas/opinions about many different things. It is something that my great grandchildren and their great grandchildren can read. I don’t know about you, but I wish that I had that sort of history to rely upon. My great great grandparents were born during the Civil War. It is surreal to realize that you don’t have to go back that many generations to get to that point either.

Confession: Any time I think about dying and my children I can’t help but think of Inigo Montoya.

Disclosure: Inigo Montoya did not pay me anything to write this post, but I digress. I have been thinking about this dying bit again not because I expect to do so any time soon but because we just picked the date for my son’s Bar Mitzvah. I think about that and I am blown away by how fast time is moving. I see him heading towards a place where life is going to accelerate for him too and I wonder what I need to focus upon. It is bizarre, surreal and incomprehensible. This is the boy who played with blocks while the bodies fell from the towers.

Intellectually speaking I know that he hasn’t been that kid in years and not just because he didn’t weigh 75 pounds at ten months either. I know precisely hold old he is but at the same time it doesn’t feel like enough time has passed for me to be thinking or worrying about these things. Hell, I just got a note from about his 529 and a minor adjustment made in his investments. Of course I can’t even begin to conceive of him being in college but if time moves as quickly as it has that will take place next week.

Although that doesn’t scare me as much as the idea of listening to some kid talk to me about his plans for the future and my daughter.

Damn if I don’t find myself quoting Superchicken, “you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.” Yes, I did know that but I didn’t know how much fun it would be. Nor did I know how scary it  could be at times either. If these little people only came with a manual life would be so much easier, but probably not any more fun. I kind of dig this fatherhood thing.

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  1. therapydoc February 13, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Insouciant or not, you rock, Jack.

  2. Lydia February 12, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    I thought I was prepared for my children before they were born, and then the first one was born and the feeling of intense fear I felt shocked the heck out of me. I didn’t understand it then, but I understnd it now. They are bestowed upon us with great trust, the fear is the fear of not doing our job the best that we can, of not teaching those lessons so nessesary.
    But you’re obviously a fan of Princess Bride so I’m thinking you’ll do fine. 🙂

    • Jack February 12, 2011 at 11:36 pm

      The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies and chock full of parenting tips. I find it to be quite useful in any number of areas.

      Parenting is one hell of a rush- crazy making and all sorts of fun.

  3. Alison Golden February 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    This was a fun, ironic read, Jack. I have all those thoughts. And more. Especially they’ll be in college tomorrow. I just thank my lucky stars I don’t have a girl. I don’t know if I could handle dealing with the growing up bit from both sides of the gender equation.

    What will we do when they’re grown? Die?

    • Jack February 11, 2011 at 10:49 pm

      I have six thousand sisters so I like to think that I am better prepared to deal with some of the female issues than friends who only had brothers. It is a lot of fun, but very different than dealing with boys. But that is ok.

      As for when they are grown, well that is why we have to keep a small piece of ourselves separate. Need our own identity too.

  4. Galit Breen February 11, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    *Sigh* I dig parenthood, too. But it’s fast. Oh-so-very fast. Love the clips, the references, even the occasional narcism. But time running away from me and leaving my children grown? *That* is hard to swallow! Great post, Jack!

  5. Cathy February 11, 2011 at 10:34 am

    It is scary to think about them growing up. My oldest is a sophomore in high school – took his PSATs and studying for his driver’s license. That is scary. College tuition in 3 years? Him driving? Nuts! Just nuts!

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