The Father/Daughter Connection

Here is a copy of the guest post that ran on Scary Mommy’s blog. I try to keep a copy of all guest posts on my blog so that I have them. You never know if other bloggers are going to decide to close up shop one day. Anyhow, that is a post for a different day.  Here is what I wrote:
You can call me Jack, the father of the most beautiful girl in the world. Yep, I have a daughter that is one of the great loves of my life. I have a little girl who makes the sun shine and the moon rise at night.

I know that some of you mothers sometimes feel like your girls have unfairly branded you the enemy while dad is the hero. And there is no doubt in my mind that you love your daughters. I have read enough of you posts to know that there is nothing that you won’t do for them.

And I also know that it can drive you crazy that the miniature version of you looks at your husbands as if we can do no wrong. I hope that you had or have a father that you feel/felt that way about. And I hope that you know that we love this attention from our baby girls.

Because if we dad’s are smart we remember that there is going to come a day where our girls will forget how incredible we are and that for a time they won’t shower their love down upon us in the same way.

I don’t know. Maybe I am the only father that feels this way. Maybe I am the only man who looks at his daughter and thinks that angels have come down to earth. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that my girl is a terror who is capable of terrorizing myself and others.

She is not perfect. She has her faults and her flaws, but daughters are different. I don’t quite know how to say or write it. I can’t properly express these things. I love my son fiercely and he knows that, but our relationship is different. Not in a bad way. My love for the children is equal, but daughters are just…different.

Maybe it is because I am 240 pounds of boy; a boy who was trained by his dad to protect his sisters and to watch out for them. Maybe it is because I know all of the stupid lines that boys/men use on girls/women and it infuriates me to think that some schmuck will try doing that to my girl.

Don’t get me wrong. I talk to my daughter about life. I work hard to make sure that she understands that her value and self worth shouldn’t be based upon her looks. I want her to use her mind because she is smart.

We got her into team sports because we want her to exercise her body too. She is growing up in a world where she doesn’t see the limitations that other women once did. She can be who she wants to be and I will support her in her endeavors.

But there is this protective side of me that bristles a bit when I think about the harder things. There is a seven year-old boy that lives inside me that remembers when his father told him that he couldn’t hit girls and that his job was too look out for his sisters.

My middle sister is tough. She is closest in age to me and she survived growing up with me. It is not that I was so bad, but I was the big brother. When my brother-in-law tells me that his wife is tough, I smile because I helped her become tough.

It is harder to do this as the father. It is harder because children are different than siblings. If ever my sisters needed me they know that I would be there, but daughters are different. Call it what you want, but if I had to be the avenging angel for my daughter that is what I would do.

Because I love my girl I would take the bullet, jump in the flames or fight the bear. I don’t really worry about any of the terrible things happening because statistics say that I don’t have to and I believe in them.

But not like I believe in my girl. The dark haired beauty will be turning 7 this year. I am infinitely proud of her and love watching her grow. I have one more confession to make. I suppose that one day she’ll fall in love with some boy and maybe even marry him. And while I want her to have the kind of relationship that the poets write about it will break my heart just a little bit to know that some other boy has a piece of her.

But she deserves it and I will be glad for it to happen. What can I say, I love my girl.

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  1. Mocha Dad April 20, 2011 at 7:23 am

    I can totally related to how you feel. My daughter is now 10.

    • Jack April 20, 2011 at 3:47 pm

      I haven’t hit ten with my daughter yet, but I have with my son. It is a great age- just love it. This father gig is something that is just so indescribable.

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