This thing you are doing- it is called life and every moment that you sit here reading it is passing you by. This thing you are doing- it is called life and every time you let fear stop you from doing something you stop living. I don’t write these words for your benefit but for mine. Ok, that is not entirely true because I do want you to benefit from this.
I want you to benefit because it is the right thing to do and for selfish reasons. The same selfish reasons that make me want you to be educated, healthy and happy apply here. Why do I say this? Because I believe that educated, healthy and happy people make the world a nicer place to live in. Some of my friends who like to argue with me about evolution say that it is an unproven theory. Well, so is my belief about the value of more people being educated, healthy and happy. Either way I don’t really care if you approve of it because you come from a monkey as do I. But you are not The Monkey and yes that is an inside joke that only one person will get. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Point, click and surf on over to greener pastures.
Really, I don’t mind. You don’t have to like me. I kill unicorns, club baby seals and drown kittens.
The Jewish New Year is approaching and I feel a bit crazed. I always get this feeling around this time. It is because part of this time is devoted to introspection and when I look inside I am not happy with all that I see. More on that in a minute, first I want to roll another video. Ignore the religious component of it and focus on what you see. It is three years old but the scenes could have just as easily taken place this year.
I watch that and ask myself if I am doing the things that need to be done to make my life better. I watch that and ask myself the hard questions. What is it that bothers me and why I aren’t I happier with my life. Are the reasons things that are under my control or is it something else. If I don’t identify those things than how I can make the changes that need to be made. I am not interested in passing through life. I don’t want to wake up and feel like I have wasted my days so I haven’t any choice but to pull back the covers and see what lies beneath.
What can I do to move from dream to reality. This is part of what I focus on. My dream car has always been the Mach 5. I remember being a little boy wishing that one day that car would be mine and now I come to find out that someone has made one. What do I want and how can I make it happen.
Part of becoming the father I want to be is tied into making sure that I follow these dreams and do whatever I can to make them real. I may not always succeed but I feel better when I try. My friend John Falchetto touched upon this in a post he called Stop lying to yourself and others will believe you.
I left a comment on that post that made me realize that my thoughts and ideas about life/myself have changed
Yes, sometimes we need to admit defeat and accept that we have failed. That doesn’t mean giving up but acknowledging that our plan/strategy wasn’t working and that it needs to be changed.
Failure is just another opportunity to learn, albeit sometimes more painful.
Not so long ago I wouldn’t have ever admitted that I have failed at anything. I would have seen that as showing weakness and that wasn’t something that I was willing to share or admit with more than a handful of people. I don’t like it all that much now and am not all that enamored with that bitter taste. But I have come to believe that although these experiences haven’t been exceptionally pleasant they have taught me things that I couldn’t have learned any other way.
They have also helped toughen me up to deal with situations that might have otherwise felt overwhelming. Some these changes have taken already taken place and others are coming just down the road
This thing you are doing- it is called life. Are you living or just passing the time away.
KDillabough September 9, 2011 at 9:14 am
@bdorman264@TheJackBgirlygrizzly I thought I recognized you:)
bdorman264 September 9, 2011 at 7:46 am
@KDillabough@TheJackBgirlygrizzly That’s me after Amber-Lee taught me how to fish for salmon…..
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 11:51 pm
@KDillabough It is. I am just in love with it.
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm
@TheJackB@bdorman264girlygrizzly OMG…Bill, is that you?!!! Now I’m LMAO twice as much!
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 2:45 pm
@TheJackB Isn’t it just perfect?
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 2:45 pm
@TheJackB@Lori Thanks Jack: here’s to poop piles!
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 2:35 pm
@KDillabough Good lord, I am so jealous that I didn’t come up with that line. Would be perfect for a story.
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 2:15 pm
@KDillabough@Lori That is a great way to look at life.
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 2:14 pm
@bdorman264 Bill, I have got your back. This video here will teach you how to fight a bear and win. http://youtu.be/mX60S8r1FQw
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 2:00 pm
@TheJackB It’s from one of my all-time favourite books, “Living the Moment , A Sacred Journey” by Lance Secretan. Another one you might like, from the same book: “Please be with me and live in my Moment instead of your future.” I think that’s so profound.
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 1:54 pm
@TheJackB@bdorman264 I am LMAO:)
bdorman264 September 8, 2011 at 1:43 pm
@TheJackB I hear ya brother; I think I could take him on land. I put girlygrizzly on my bucket list; I’m counting on her to not let any grizzlies eat me because it is definitely not on the top of my list to be eaten alive. I promised I wouldn’t wear any salmon flavored boxers…………..
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 1:37 pm
@TheJackB@Lori I like that Jack. It’s like the little boy who peeked behind the barn and got all excited when he spotted a huge pile of manure. When asked why the pile of manure was so exciting, he answered: With all that s*#t, there must be a pony somewhere! I’m always seeing the adventure and the pony in the poop pile:) Cheers! Kaarina
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 11:37 am
@KDillabough Kaarina, I love that quote. I hadn’t heard it before but it really resonates with me.
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 11:36 am
@Lori Hi Lori. It is really easy to get caught up in life and to let the chaos and confusion push you wherever it will. I like being a collector of moments in time so it suits me to push back occasionally.
The next adventure is always there waiting for us to take it on.
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 11:23 am
@bdorman264 I have a bunch of friends who are recently divorced and a couple more who are probably about to enter those waters. We are all fathers of relatively young children with a ton of years left to work so we have regular conversations about what we are doing NOW.
That is because we have buried several of our friends. Accidents, terminal illness and just “shit happens” have taken them from us at an early age. So none of us are particularly interested in clocking in and out. That being said if one of them told me that he was content with life I’d tell him that I think that is great.
Nothing wrong with it and something that we all strive for. But things happen and the current climate is tough for a lot of us. I think that the economy has kicked a lot of people in a place that shouldn’t receive the tender mercies of a steel toed boot.
Add in a healthy dose of negative energy that seems to permeate the news and it is easy to feel like life sucks a little bit. But you are right- it all comes back to how you deal with it.
FWIW, being eaten alive is at the top of my list of ways not to die. Fortunately I have a plan for that which involves killing and eating anything that tries to eat me.
For example, should a shark decide that I look tasty I will invite it to engage in single combat with me. The caveat is that we must do so on land and I must be given a Louisville slugger. I figure that should even things up. Don’t tell the shark, but I can still hit a ball a country mile. 😉
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 11:11 am
@KDillabough I am too grumpy of a person not to ask the hard questions. I like knowing why. Ignorance almost always gets me into trouble and since I am an expert at that I don’t want any more help. 😉
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 11:09 am
@Robert Terson Hi Robert, it is a pleasure to meet you. Your grandson has a very fine name, but I am biased.
Your bubbe is right. Mine used to remind me that “this too shall pass” and she was right too. I don’t necessarily view failure in the negative sense that many do. I think that it is quite important and that it is part of how we learn to deal with adversity.
Hope to see you here again. Shana Tovah, Good Yontev and if we don’t speak before, have an easy fast. @Biebert
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 8:30 am
Jack, I’m living every moment, adhering to the words of author Lance Secretan: “Live the moment nobly, passionately and with love.”
When we do so, even the most challenging of times can be overcome. Cheers! Kaarina
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 8:28 am
@wonderoftech They say we learn from our mistakes, not our successes. The only caveat: make that particular mistake only once:) Cheers! Kaarina
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 8:27 am
@bdorman264 You just gave me my favourite line of the day, Bill: “If it can’t eat you, it can’t kill you.” I think you’re right about the sense of struggle and hurt and confusion and overwhelm right now. And @TheJackB , asking the “hard questions” , and then answering them, is what makes us grow. Painful sometimes, but oh-so-much better to ask and answer, than to claim “ignorance is bliss.” Cheers! Kaarina
KDillabough September 8, 2011 at 8:25 am
@Lori Introspection, organization, reevaluation…I think they’re all ways in which to “slow down to speed up.” When is enough, enough? When is too much, too much?
I agree Lori: September’s a great, crisp time of year (well, at least in our part of the world, it’s crisp:) to take stock and prioritize. Cheers! Kaarina
Lori September 8, 2011 at 8:10 am
Ha ha Jack! You had me at the title! I could almost imagine what you’d written before I read it! Almost.
I’ve noticed as I make my way around the B today that people seem overwhelmed with so much going on and plates heaped too high. kdillabough said it was time to sift through it all. I agree and September is a great time to do that. For you it’s introspection, for me it’s getting organized – something I never seem to tire of doing!
You’re right – if we don’t think about the life we’re living, what ARE we doing? And who’s deciding who will have the Mach 5 or the sporty little red BMW! 😉
We identify, we feel, we decide and we move on. The next adventure awaits, doesn’t it? Maybe just there – around the corner!?!?!
Or is it just me 😮
bdorman264 September 8, 2011 at 5:56 am
Am I squeezing every last drop out of it; no, but I am ‘content’ with my lot and life and know that I am very fortunate indeed. I do find myself going through the motions on the hamster wheel at times and want to be more purposeful and more aware of what’s going on around me and who I impact. The problem is, one day you wake up and it’s too late; don’t wait for tomorrow to come, live life now.
Is it always a bed of roses; absolutely not. A lot of it is how you handle adversity and sometimes those tough ‘life’ lessons are very unpleasant indeed. All we can do at times is just keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that yes, the sun will come up tomorrow.
Life goes on whether we are ready or not.
I have a sense that a lot of my online friends are struggling and hurting right now. I don’t know if it’s the moon, the economy or what’s going on but I certainly detect the struggles. Everybody talks about attitude, living in the moment, enjoy the journey, but when everything is just ‘sucking’ around you sometimes it can be damn hard.
If it can’t eat you, it can’t kill you; be strong my friend.
Robert Terson September 8, 2011 at 4:40 am
Jack (by the way, that’s my grandson’s name), you indeed are an introspective man, which also makes you a fortunate man: you’re going to keep growing as you journey through life. I’m so glad I found you via @Biebert. One thing I want to say to you, even though you may think me naive or pollyannaish: I believe we can’t fail at anything if we keep striving towards attaining whatever “it” is; I believe that with every fiber of my being. We may need to implement countless attempts before victory is ours, but each “failed” attempt is but a speed bump along the path of our quest. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, as long as you keep getting up; or as my Bubbie used to say, “Try, try, try again. Happy New Year, Jack. Bubbie would have said, Good yontev!
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 12:08 am
@Joanne Cipressi You were right, I did enjoy that post. It was a lot of fun to read and I related to it.
I think that a lot of people fail to understand the strength that comes from admitting defeat and having the ability to get back up again.
TheJackB September 8, 2011 at 12:07 am
@wonderoftech That Mach 5 had a couple of things that none of those other cars have. There is a spice, sort of a secret sauce that it had that they didn’t.
The worst part of failing is not learning anything from it. It sounds like hype and spin but it has so much truth in it. And sometimes those lessons are the most critical.
TheJackB September 7, 2011 at 11:58 pm
@Christine@QuasiAgitato You are not the only one who is still learning. It is a process, this living thing….But I think that if we keep trying, fighting, learning and growing eventually we find a place that is comfortable.
Vidia2be September 7, 2011 at 8:11 pm
@latenightparent can you spare a vote and rt? http://t.co/v32Voyk vote Heather Purvis
Joanne Cipressi September 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Jack…I love this post. Since I have been reading your blog…this is my favorite! Going after our dreams really adds fulfillment to our lives and we are going to fail at some of our attempts…we all do. Admitting defeat is so freeing and allows your to move on to try something fresh with better odds of making this dream reality. We all fail at times and its ok. You will probably enjoy my blog today as it is similar to yours. Enjoy!
wonderoftech September 7, 2011 at 3:18 pm
The Mach 5. Me too. I still want that car. I don’t have it. Yet. I guess that’s a failure. I’ve driven cars that tried to be the Mach 5: the Corvette, Nissan Z and the Supra, but they didn’t cut it.
Failure teaches me so much more than success. Success feels much better than failure, but failure is a teacher. I have failed at plenty, but have gained wisdom each time.
Thanks for sharing your introspection with us.
Christine September 7, 2011 at 1:28 pm
introspective, indeed! me too. to all of this. me too. wanting to do better. not wanting to lose sight of dreams. learning to admit to failures and to learn from them. i come from a long line of deny-ers, so this has been a long tough lesson for me. one i’m still learning.