Never Blog On a Saturday Night

It was written in a plain Helvetica or maybe it was a simple Arial- can’t say because the message left me shaking with fear. That email said “Don’t Blog On Saturday Night” and gosh they must have really meant it or the man/woman at wouldn’t have sent it to me.

I know this to be true the same way that I know that WWJD stands for “What Would You do for Jelly Donuts.” Not to mention my Nigerian friends have sent me, Jack, the Bishop of Bullfrog tons business opportunities via email. You would be more than a little bit jealous if I told you how much money I have made from Shola Rhodes and company.

Where were we? Oh yes, we were talking about the email that told me that we should never blog on a Saturday night. I read it twice and then made a point to label to use my Gmail label to mark it so that I could find it. In case you are wondering it goes under “useful” right next to to the Viagra and penis extension ads which reminds me that I am ever so glad to get those.

Why? Because every man wants to be known as “Tripod,” the guy that makes a horse jealous with his manly member. And more importantly, thanks to the Viagra emails you can keep your lady happy for 27 hours of unbridled fun. How exciting is that.

Now before you get jealous let me assure you that the text in that Viagra email says that you will have fun for 27 hours. I don’t know about you but I can’t help but get excited about being granted another three hours in a day. In fact when I take those pills I tell my partner that she is going to receive the ride of her life, even better than an “E-Ticket.”

Damn, I went off on another one of those tangents again and didn’t focus on the Never Blog On a Saturday night bit so let’s circle back. The person who sent that clearly has my best interests in mind and based upon my desire to help the world I am passing it along to you.

Did I mention that I also know from experience that the best way to get bloggers to read a post is to blog about blogging. Damn if it is not like watching moths fly towards the porch light. Blog about blogging and the bloggers will come and who doesn’t smile because of that.

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  1. kimalexliz December 21, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    @jetts31 holy crap I’ll make sure never to do that…. #ooooprettylightsifeelmothy

  2. Christine October 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Doh. Fell for it.
    But you know what…I’m glad I did. Haven’t been over here in far too long and am digging your new look.
    Also, you are funny.

    • Jack October 30, 2011 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Christine. You were on my list of people who haven’t been here in far too long. Don’t tell me that you have better things to do, people to talk to or any other reason for not showing up because I simply won’t have it.

      Thank you for coming by. Don’t stay away too long or you’ll miss some really exciting changes- or maybe not. 😉

  3. Bill Dorman October 30, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Can you please direct me to some blogs about blogging; I am very interested in this topic.

    I too have rec’d some extremely lucrative business opportunities and trying to figure out how I will spend all this money.

    27 hours a day; must be a wonder drug.

    • Jack October 30, 2011 at 11:18 pm


      Lanier Upshaw is listed as one of 17 companies in the country that provides a bonus for blogging about a 27 hour day. The one requirement is that you file for said bonus on Tuesday October 32.

      Something tells me that blogs about blogging might be more useful than my half wit remarks.

  4. Chloe October 30, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    “If you blog it, they will come.”

    There isn’t anything more boring for non-bloggers to read than blogs about blogging, but since non-bloggers aren’t the primary audience for bloggers who cares about them anyway?

    • Jack October 30, 2011 at 11:16 pm


      The non bloggers just emailed me to say thank you for sharing that. Someone ought to tell them that only a loser reads a blog…. oops.

      I meant only a loser writes a blog, at least I think that I meant that. Damn if I know what I mean or say about anything now.

  5. Claudia October 30, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Too funny, Jack….really. For me, the “rule” not to blog on a Saturday night ONLY speaks to the fact that it just PROVES that I need to get a life…;-)
    Thank you for making Saturday night blogging a hoot!

  6. Batya October 29, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    So, that’s why I had so much trouble with some sites last night…

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