The Best Way To Meet Your Neighbors
The best way to meet your neighbors is assuredly not in a t-shirt and boxers. Trust me on this because I know from experience that some people are reluctant to answer the door when they see a man in desperate need of a shave standing on their porch.
Although I enjoy puzzles and challenges I hadn’t intended to spend any part of my Sunday afternoon trying to figure out how to break into my own home. Nor was I interested in trying to find new blog fodder but instead of an Ace I was dealt the Joker.
Around 3:30 or so I decided that it was time to be more productive and turned off the football game to go work on a few things in the backyard. I have a gate that needs a little work and had some basic gardening and walked outside. Since it was my backyard I didn’t see a need to get dressed up and found the almost 80 degree weather quite inviting.
Thus I ended up outside in the aforementioned boxers and t-shirt.
And because I didn’t want to be distracted or interrupted I left my cellphone inside. It is part of my ongoing effort to disconnect and enjoy life without beeps, bells and whistles.
Unfortunately the day I chose to do this was not the day where I connected the Telepathy App that locks and unlocks the doors of my home. Had it been that day I wouldn’t have gotten locked out of the house.
But it wasn’t that day and I did get locked out of the house. Apparently I didn’t remember to unlock the door when I went outside and thus the joy I felt after fixing the gate quickly dissipated. It was all too quickly replaced by a stream of frustration and colorful language. Always good to be my own worst enemy.
Actually this kind of thing rarely happens to me, can’t remember the last time I got locked out. But I won’t forget this time too quickly.
I know quite a few of the neighbors and made a point to go knock on their doors first. I figured that I would make a quick telephone call to a friend to have the spare key brought by but the best laid plans of mice and men sometimes go awry. Thank you dear friends and family for going to New Year’s Day celebrations. While you partied I wondered whether I would have to use the dog run to answer nature’s call.
Yes, I was lucky enough to have the urge to go. But I was also lucky enough for it not to be an immediate need. Forgive if this is TMI, but sometimes posterity requires the recording of our lives.
Anyhoo, a kind neighbor did let me use their telephone which is how I discovered that no one was home anywhere else. It was also where I realized that I might be able to break into my home through a window.
Said window is high enough off of the ground that it took some doing to get it open but I did manage to do so. And then I made like Spiderman, climbed up the wall and floated through the window and onto the floor.
The best part is that the window was unlocked and I was able to gain entry without breaking anything. Said window is now locked and I am making arrangements so that this doesn’t happen again.
Maybe if a was 20 year-old underwear model the neighbors would have been more appreciative of my showing up in my minimal attire but I don’t really care. I am just happy that I was able to get back in without too much fuss. Have to admit that I had some concern that someone would call local law enforcement and I would end up explaining why the man in his underwear was climbing into a home through a side window.
Life is filled with all sorts of fun moments.
Melanie Belshee January 3, 2012 at 10:04 am
This was a great story Jack! Would you mind if I re-post it to our blog? We make a locking rock key hider without technology 🙂 I think our readers would enjoy reading this.
Jack January 3, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Thanks. I am glad that you enjoyed it. You are welcome to take a couple of paragraphs and then link back to here.
If you are interested in doing something more than that email me at talktojacknow-at-gmail-dotcom
Jens P. Berget January 2, 2012 at 9:32 pm
I’ve never tried that, that’s probably because I live in Norway and it’s way too cold to be in a t-shirt and boxers even on most days during the summer, but I can only imagine what my neighbors would do if they saw me 🙂
But, it reminds me of one of my neighbors, a man in his mid-sixties who was standing all bloody on our porch one day. I had seen him before, but I hadn’t really connected with him, so I didn’t know what to expect. We let him in, and he told us that he was just back from the hospital and thought that we had found him and called the ambulance. And he was just coming by to say thank you. Unfortunately he had come to the wrong house, but this time I connected with him, and he was a really nice guy. They hadn’t done a good job at the hospital to cover his bruises.. but I guess everything was ok. He had fallen and hit his head, and someone had found him unconcious and called the ambulance.
Jack January 3, 2012 at 9:17 am
I am not really familiar with Norway’s climate but I would have guessed that during summer you could wear something lighter.
Anyway, that is quite a story about the man on the porch. I can see how that might be a little strange. Bloody, battered and bruised is sort of an odd introduction.
seattledad January 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I find that as I get older I don’t care nearly as much about how I come across to others. Which is to say, I guess, that I wouldn’t have sweated it too much. People are understanding for the most part. Glad you found a way in.
But seriously? 80 degrees? How awesome is that?
Jack January 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Oh I wasn’t really worried about being embarrassed as much as I was concerned that the 40 something in his underwear wouldn’t find a telephone to use. It was warm when I was out but at night the temp drops.
But I have got to tell you that this warm weather is awesome.
Betsy Cross January 2, 2012 at 4:27 am
HAHA! Reminds me of the time I was about 9 months pregnant with our first child. I was the only one home and eventually had to break in through the window, only I got stuck! My butt was on the inside, legs dangling on the outside, cars racing by!
I have no idea how I finally got in. But I had a good laugh!
Everyone needs a moment like these at least once. You know that experience that teaches you that sometimes you’re going to get caught unprepared and in a potentially embarrassing situation.
Jack January 2, 2012 at 4:33 pm
9 months pregnant beats my gig by quite a bit. If you had that on video you might have been able to use it make a couple of bucks on America’s Funniest Home videos.