Daddy, Please Don’t Kill My Boyfriend

The dark haired beauty is 7.5 going on 30. That little girl of mine has spent her entire life trying to figure new and improved ways for manipulating me. What she hasn’t figured out is that I am well aware of it.

I know exactly what she is doing and why. The fact that I am crazy about her doesn’t change anything. I may be in love with that girl but I won’t be taken in by the dark eyes, freckles and cheeks. That toothless smile is cute but it still isn’t enough to make me forget that she came home today and told me that she has a boyfriend.

She floated into the house and glided across the room to where I was waiting and said, “Don’t kill him Daddy!” Years from now I may pull out this post and show it to her. It might be fun to tease her about how crude her technique was when she was little.

“Daddy, don’t kill Jimmy.”

“Why would I kill Jimmy?”

The look that passed across her face was really cute. Her intent had been to bust my chops but when I didn’t react she realized that I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. Fortunately she’ll read this one day and realize that dear old dad knew what was going on and intentionally kept a blank expression. It is only fair. Dad has to have a few tricks of his own.

“Daddy, Jimmy asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“And what did you say?”

I think that she tried to reply but the huge smile on her face and uncontrollable giggling made it difficult to understand.

“Ok, Jimmy can be your boyfriend but only if he can complete all of the tasks that I have for him.”

“What kind of tasks daddy?”

English: Hercules cleaning the Augean stables....

Image via Wikipedia

Call me cruel, but I rattled off some of the little deeds that Hercules was required to complete. I should add that even though my daughter is brilliant she didn’t have a clue what a Hydra was or how Jimmy would clean the Augean Stables.

So I told her that instead Jimmy could do me a favor and collect the twenty bucks that my friend Godot owes me.

Sigh, I am truly not ready for her to really start dating and glad that I have some time. Ultimately the same rule as always applies here, if you cannot defeat me in single combat then you cannot date my daughter.

Still something tells me that I better enjoy my sleep now because life will get more complicated.

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