“Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.“Â Thomas A. Edison
“Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.“Â Oscar Wilde
368 days ago I wrote a post calledÂ The Right Words. It wasn’t my best or my worst work but it serves as the inspiration for this post you are reading now. It is another reminder I wrote to myself about the need to chase the dream and struggle to find the right words for the moments in which I live.
That is because life is a series of moments and every one of them provides me with an opportunity, a need and a desire to comment or act upon it. Sometimes the right words are best left unsaid so I do my best abide by that rule but I don’t always succeed.
I look through the fog that often surrounds our choices and do my best to properly discern that which lies within and to choose the choice that will lead me to where it is I wish to reach. That might sound like gibberish to you but to me it makes perfect sense and that is good. It is good because oftentimes life is filled with acts of great stupidity and utter imcomprehensibility.
We want to say that we act based upon logic and reason but that is often not true. Love fucks that right up as does lust and luck. We make choices and decisions based upon a million different things and so many of them have nothing to do with logic. They are arbitrary choices that feel good.
That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We can only plan ahead so far. I have said it a million times and I will say it a million more you can’t say for certain where you will be in five years or what you will be doing.
“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.“Â Oscar Wilde
The Errand Boy used to love to tell us all about this amazing life he had lead and what an amazing life he would lead. I remember thinking about what an obnoxious fool he was and I still believe that to be so. But the difference between then and now is that life experience has humbled me.
To use the colloquial term I got my ass kicked and it made me adjust my attitude. Because I have a fragile male ego I have to clarify that it wasn’t a physical beat down, but it would have been better if it had been. That is because physical bruises heal far faster than the mental. Some of those scars hang around a bit longer.
But the beauty of that beating is that I learned many things from it and I give it credit for helping me to become a better writer. Does that mean that it was meant to be or that I am glad it happened? I don’t know.
I am a fighter by nature and it bothers me to admit losing because I lost a lot. But I am also someone who sees possibilities in places where weeds grow and I know that one can lose more than a few battles and still win the war.
That picture reminds me of Â The Tales We Tell. It reminds me of when certain truths came to light and I realized that I hadn’t captured the moon in a barrel. All I had was its reflection. There is nothing like realizing you are one of the fools of Chelm to make you think twice.
During the past year some of those I love best in the world lost their parents. Others got divorced, some died and some got sick. I don’t know that I want to classify or categorize what I got. But I will say that I have tried to make a better effort to ask my friends about themselves and their lives.
There was a time not very long ago when I had this sinking feeling that I was dying. It threw me because that isn’t who I am. Ask those who know me and they will tell you that I have always expected to outlive everyone. That really isn’t because of ego. Part of it is based upon genetics. My family is blessed with great genes and I have quite a few relatives who lives into their nineties and beyond.
One night I turned on Tim McGraw’s song Live Like You Were Dying,Â listened to it three or four times and decided that I needed to get in the car and just drive. I got in the car and played around with driving to Las Vegas, San Francisco and the beach. Ultimately I decided to just drive and see what happened.
The point and the purpose was to be active and to give myself time to just let my mind go wherever it would. I remember thinking that this feeling that I was dying made no sense and that I needed to deal with it in a logical manner.
So I pulled over my car and flipped a coin. If it came up heads I would make an appointment for a physical and if it came up tails I wouldn’t worry about it. It came up tails so I shrugged my shoulders, drove home and went to bed. Â It was a sound decision based upon the same logic and reasonable principles that I said all people use to make decisions.
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”Oscar Wilde
The quotes that I used in this post resonate with me. They sing a song that makes my heart dance. Really I could have used those three quotes and a couple of hundred words and called it a day. I didn’t because sometimes the post requires more words.Â The Right Words Written Right Write Their Own Tales is my way of saying follow your heart and ignore your head.
I think about the messages from those three quotes often. I have a restless spirit that I use to push and drive me forward. I readily admit that I am a dreamer but I am one who believes in living his dreams and not dreaming his life.
What do you think?