What To Do When Your Life Is All Hype & No Hoopla

Every day I wake up and I ask myself if today is the day I am going to win the lottery, cure cancer and hit the game winning shot in game seven of the NBA championship series. I close my eyes and hear Chick Hearn calling the play:

Magic dribble drives left, passes the ball to Steiner at the top of the key. Steiner elevates over bird and sinks it! The game is over! The Lakers beat the Celtics! I hear the crowd going wild and then I open my eyes and discover that I am in my pajamas. I didn’t hit that shot and Magic doesn’t know my name.

That is one dream that isn’t going to happen and not because Chick Hearn is dead. But that is not the point because what I am focused on is making it happen, it being my other dreams and I have many.

Making It Happen

My friend Steve Rice sent me a link to a Danielle LaPorte video about making it happen that really resonated with me. That first video led me to a second video about building a book proposal. If you know me in real life you know that I am a semi skeptic about signs and messages from the universe.

I want to believe but part of me holds back because it is easy to see what we want to see. Yet I have to acknowledge that one of the big goals in my life is to publish not just a book, but many books.

I am a storyteller. There is a great story over here that I am going to publish. I am going to make it happen because it has to happen. Why? Because at a few weeks short of 43 I am certain that writing is what I should be doing with my life. Because I have spent decades doing many things that helped me recognize that there is a giant gaping hole in my heart that can’t be filled by any one person.

It can only be filled by me and only by satisfying my need to create. I am a writer. I am a storyteller. Spend time with me and you will see that I am a powerhouse of energy. I  kid around about being crazy and I make my share of self deprecating jokes, but I love myself enough to acknowledge I haven’t treated my heart the way that I should.

There has been a lack of consistent commitment on my part that I cannot allow to continue. And that is changing…now.


Actually that has been changing for quite some time but this is the time when I have made the public declaration. This is the time where I say that my children need to see that their father goes the distance for what is important to him.

This is the time where I say that I have spent the last chunk of time, however long it has been struggling to keep everything going. It has been one series of battles after another. There have been more than a few minutes where I wanted to scream because it felt like the easy things were three times as hard as they should be.

Moments where I put on my gloves and beat the hell out of my heavy bag and wondered how someone had shoved a bit into my mouth and hitched me to a plow. And believe me, I plowed the hell out of those fucking fields and every moment I did was with an eye searching for a way to break the shackles so that I could run free.

I said that I found my life less than beautiful. I said that it was unsatisfying and I told the universe that I wasn’t interested in mixed messages. I said give it to me straight or give me a chance to fight. I told the universe I would go toe-to-toe and that I would give back twice as good as I got.

That is really where commitment comes into the mix. Commitment to continue to work on making the changes that have to occur to correct the course. Commitment to try a different path and open my eyes/heart.

Los Angeles Lakers Magic Johnson and Boston Ce...

Los Angeles Lakers Magic Johnson and Boston Celtics Larry Bird in Game two of the 1985 NBA Finals at Boston Garden (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Understanding, Gratitude & Appreciation

I love that picture of Bird and Magic- nothing but good memories there. Not to mention stories, oh do I have stories. Understanding myself, my needs, desires and what I want is one of the gifts that blogging has given to me.

I know more about Jack than I ever did. I know what I want and what I need.

There is more gratitude and appreciation floating around inside the big melon on top of my neck than I can tell you. It is funny to me. Funny because I know that this sounds contradictory to what I have written.

But you need to understand that even though I have oodles of frustration and a bucket of anger it doesn’t mean that I am an unhappy person. If anything I am an impatient happy person.

Impatient because I started working on making changes quite some time ago and they aren’t happening fast enough. Frustrated because some of the crap that I have been contending with is outside of my control and  has nothing to do with me.

But happy because I am working on the things that make me happy. Happy because there is an awful lot of good in my life and because I am really freaking young. I have decades to enjoy the life I am building now.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t have dark moments or that I won’t get frustrated because that won’t change. It just means that I am an ordinary Joe who is doing his best to enjoy the journey.

What about you?

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  1. Adrienne April 20, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Things don’t always happen on our time table Jack but if you believe and you keep working hard then I believe they’ll come. I use to always question why isn’t this happening for me? But I guess I had more lessons to learn and I’m much better off I admit.

    So are you taking those signs from the Universe now? Glad Steve sent those your way.

    By the way, I saw Larry Bird on TV the other night and oh my goodness. He’s just let himself go and that just blew my mind. Why does such an athlete like that let themselves go so bad. I was just so shocked.

    • Jack April 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      I go back and forth on the signs from the universe. Not a complete skeptic any more, but not a complete believer either. Just open to possibilities.

  2. Stan Faryna April 19, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Did you pay the $150 forYour Big Beautiful Book Plan?

  3. Craig McBreen April 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    I always pictured myself hitting a walk-off home run in a game seven of the world series 😉 That or playing lead guitar in front of 10,000 screaming fans.

    I liked the video too. “Launch and learn” indeed!

    I didn’t even start to feel confident until, um, age 41! Now I’m just getting warmed up. So 43 is a great time to get crackin’. Heck, any age is.

    Anyway, enough about me. It is obvious writing is what really makes you sing, man. For all I know, you really do sing and jump up and down and act crazy after you’ve completed any creative writing project. That amazing feeling you get will push your through to tough spots, and you already know about those.

    You have all that talent and now you are going to unleash it, full force! I can completely relate when you write about your struggles, but you, Sir are a trooper and I’m sure you’ll see this through.

    It’s 5:06 pm and I’m inspired 🙂

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 6:22 pm

      Hi Craig,

      Lead guitar would be cool, if only I knew how to play. 😉 I certainly do have moments where the craziness comes out in giant bursts of energy.

      The talent is good but only as long as we take advantage of it. That is what I am pushing hard for- fulfilling potential. Now is our time to do what we say we are going to do.

      I think we’ll see big things coming from quite a few of us.

  4. Steve Rice April 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Wow! So glad that Danielle’s vid struck a chord with you too! I think I told you this but the point that hit me over the head was when she said, “Do what you say you’re going to do!” So proud of you for “saying” it!

    I, too, stopped to watch D’s vid on book proposal. I can’t wait to dive into the Fire Starter Sessions….it’s waiting on my Nook right now.

    Excited to hold that first copy of your book when it comes out. (I hope you’ll autograph it for me!) 🙂 It’s a feeling like no body’s business when you hold something you’ve created in your hands and I want that for you.

    I keep watching Danielle’s vid over and over to give myself that little focused reminder of what I’m meant to do (and what I should be doing).

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 6:17 pm

      Hi Steve,

      That video is great and it came at a really good time for me. I wanted and needed to hear that. I am grateful that you let me know about it.

      If the book comes out in tangible form and not an ebook I will gladly sign a copy for you. Thank you so much, I appreciate all of your help.

  5. Julie April 19, 2012 at 5:55 am

    Hi Jack,

    Remember what Bashar says – “Circumstances Don’t Matter. Only State Of Being Matters.”

    You have your “state of being” in the right place. You are appreciative and happy, in spite of the annoying and frustrating circumstances etc etc.

    Never doubt the universe, pal. When you start the ball rolling, sometimes it feels like a looooonnnng time before “things happen.” We are in the third dimension. It is kind of slow and sticky down here compared to other places. Sometimes, you get a response right away. But just taking the long view, it is your every day that matters. Will you be happy when your book gets published? Hell right, you will. But it is not The Goal that matters. It is the feeling you take with you in every moment. Just keep on taking action and carrying the appreciative feeling right along with you. You will get there.

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      Hi Julie,

      It is a process but we all have to go through it. I am just trying to do it with less struggle and fuss. The message that I take is the one you are sharing about the long term perspective and that feeling that comes along with it.

      Slowly but surely we’ll get there.

  6. Mark April 19, 2012 at 5:15 am

    43, eh Jack?

    It’s a good age.

    You’ve finally arrived at the time of your life for when the windows of heaven do open up and give you your hearts desires, you’ll actually know how to handle all of the success you’ve been working for : )

    I feel your struggle. I also feel your fight and determination. I’m with you – it’s done!

    Just keep writing your heart out!

    It excites me. I know you’re going places and you’re going to leave a big fuckin mark on the world. That’s exciting.

    Not many folks have what it takes to accomplish great things – and in case you needed reinforcement, I absolutely know that you have the stuff great accomplishments are built on.

    Thanks for inspiring!

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 6:10 pm

      Hi Mark,

      Thank you. It is really nice to feel so much support from you and all of our other friends. It is not like we can’t do this on our own, but why should we. One of the best parts of age is knowing that I don’t need to prove anything to anyone but me.

      Help isn’t hurtful, it is good.

      All we need to do is move from plan to execution and good things should and will come to us.

  7. Harleena Singh April 19, 2012 at 4:49 am

    Love your writing Jack!

    Yes, I see a lot of similarities as I read through your post, which I think most of us can relate to. I guess we all do get angry, frustrated, and happy for so-so many reasons so often. We need to keep reminding ourselves to make that deliberate effort to see the good things that life has given us, and to value the smaller moments in life we get with our kids and family – isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm

      Hi Harleena,

      You used a very powerful word- “deliberate.” I like it because it says that we are consciously working on the changes we want to see. Action is needed and we are taking it.

      Thank you for being a big part of the community.

  8. Lori Gosselin April 19, 2012 at 3:58 am

    Aw Jack ” I love myself enough to acknowledge I haven’t treated my heart the way that I should.” I get the feeling all that changes with this post! I love the “I am an impatient happy person.” I totally get that! It sounds like your declaration, this post. And THAT changes everything!

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm

      Hi Lori,

      If we don’t draw a line in the sand and say enough we live a life in which our challenges are ignored or pushed off until tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. I can’t wait any longer.

  9. Mike Shields ( April 19, 2012 at 3:24 am

    In my case, my proposal for a book would simply be to collect everything I’ve written that’s available online, as it’s a good throughline for what I feel I bring to the table.

    Now, if I can just find a free blog exporter that will do all the collation for me 😉

  10. Vanita April 19, 2012 at 2:27 am

    you know Jack, not once through reading any of your posts, did you ever come across as unhappy to me. just frustrated as many of us are – because we have dreams, we have goals, we’re working on them, but it feels like we’re going no where. i have those days too. a lot of times i say to myself “if only i had a few more hours in the day, i could get shit done – for me” for example I woke up pissed off 23 minutes ago. why? because i had a full night’s sleep. i had planned to put the kids down at 9:30 and back to my desk at 10 to finish my ebook. at some point i fell asleep and didn’t wake until one. i figured i’d sleep another 2 hours and then get up to finish the ebook. some how i never heard the alarm. now i’ve got work on my plate today and no time except these few minutes while i drink my coffee and read your post. it’s frustrating. really bloody frustrating. i CAN feel what i want it right within my reach, but i can’t grab it. lol. the journey is wicked isn’t it Jack? but we’ll get there. as long as we don’t give up the dream, we’ll get there.

    • Jack April 19, 2012 at 5:59 pm

      Hi Vanita,

      That “extra” sleep is well worth it. Sometimes we just have to take the time to get it because you can only burn that candle for so long.

      You are right about being so close we can feel/taste that magical thing we are chasing. This journey is wicked, but it is hell of a lot of fun too.

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